Cartilage?
Reading your posts you seem to be affronted by what you perceive as the audacity of being charged for your offences.
I have heard sex offenders are treated differently in prisons, with the contempt that they deserve.
I went to prison when i was in my early twenties [poll tax riot lol]. Didn’t get raped and i think most inmates were very conscious of not being like that to each other. Mostly the idea of getting ass-raped until you bleed, is part of the psychological mechanism they use for people who aren’t in prison. Naturally it is encouraged in subtle ways inside prison too ~ where they can build a culture of oppression they will.
The whole thing is idiotic and people just roll with it like they do everything else. I don’t know why people feel satisfied when those who have committed crimes against them are put down. It would be far better to stop the crimes from happening in the first place, and equally to deal with crimes on the spot where possible. This would of course mean taking the law into your own hands, and then the system would have no basis to herd us all around like sheep.
Those Romans eh!
Auto-Correct Spelling… it doesn’t correct the words I need, just the ones I don’t need into something absurd.
I didn’t go to prison. In the military, something much worst exists. I was injured, and this injury didn’t agree with the MTOE, and everyone who was being medically boarded for their injuries were told one day we were faking our injuries in mass, and were actually quite healthy, and that was that.
Fantastic logic, as some apparently were. Not to fantastic if you are, however, physically inept. They tried all kinds of mindtricks and abuse. I was shamed in every way possible, carried out miles and thrown on icy asphalt and left to crawl back. Put in stretchers and kicked in the head for an hour and screamed at… despite having a medical profile, obviously inflated knee, and trying to hobble in accordance to that medical profile at my own pace. Threatened repeatedly with jail. All it did was result in reinjury, every time I was ordered to climb a fence and leap over it. Did as I was told, and became a pariah for it. Went from the fastest runner in the battalion to the slowest on base after several months of these cyclic torture and neglect, legal threats and outright abuse.
I made myself useful in ways the military never considered. Made them stuff, very unique things. Fixed problems. Was left alone after a while. Had a cane to hobble around on at times. Went to Iraq. Went from being a supply clerk who could make things happen to a driver. I grew up in a bad neighborhood in a poor part of West Virginia, never knew how to drive. I learned how to drive heading out on some of the most bombed roads on earth, in a humvee with no armor underneath… had holes in it, could see the road… I’m not exagerrating on how heavily bombed, and mortared. Was a very nasty time.
I did that for months, with it understood by the platoon Sargent I was just a driver… could barely walk with all the armor on, much less roadmarch, and if I did, I would put everyone at severe risk. If a firefight broke out, fight near the humvee, or enter a building room by room… no long sojourns.
Well, guess what? My Platoon Sargent quit… which I didn’t even know was possible… he figured out one day if he told a impulsive buck Sargent to shoot up in the air during a interrogation, he get kicked off the line, and sent to battalion head quarters. And he did… I had a completely new chain of command put over me, including a new shit head fast promoted to Sargent out of college, a Ceramic Engineer. The Physician Assistant (the one who massed “healed us”) more or less hated my guts, while his boss liked me (I had a great background in military science and classical literature, as he did, and his boss… his boss’s boss gave me the medical discharge intact, and a air force doc to boot, this PA suppressed this)… the Battalion CSM didn’t like me… cause I limped a lot, and should of had more self respect than to be injured, so was told one day I wasn’t injured, and would be going on a ten mile full battle rattle roadmarch across the triangle of death in the rain, then started misquoting war movies.
I had already been exposed to a variety of snipers and explosive devices, not to mention wild dogs trying to eat me at night, to want to do this would put not my life at risk, but dozens of others. Snipers go after the ones who are carrying the injured. I would of been tossed up and down watching multiple guys die before me merely because I existed.
So after snapping for a bit (literally mad, good 17 minutes of insanity) I talked to the chaplain, then went to my command tent, to turn in my weapon, and almost certainly be arrested for refusing it.
As punishment, instead of being sent to jail, I was restricted to a room in a factory, to sit in for the duration. My unit was extended. Watched the sun set at night, come up in the morning. Up and down… extremely hot weather. They decided I was crazy, and I saw a psychologist… he heard my story and was horrified. Said it wasn’t uncommon in the states, especially in the infantry for units to turn on injured soldiers, but never seen it go so far, and insane given out Brigade had the highest casualty rate. I voluntarily went from a very protected position to a combat situation with the understanding of not being sent on foot given my condition. It also helped the base was shelled during my stay repeatedly and I wasn’t rattled by it (he was, he needed help).
He said he couldn’t medboard me, as I wasn’t insane, but to keep me from trouble, he gave me a unique fake as shit medical syndrome that only a psychologist could diagnose, “Somatoform” pain that can’t medically be explained. Given my doctor in the airforce dissapeared, It really couldn’t. So I shrugged my shoulders, and officially became insane.
See, no one knew what the disorder meant, so if someone came running up to me in a panic saying ‘so and so jusybfucked up and really needs help’ I could leave my chair and go help, cause Somatoforms clearly don’t understand right or wrong. I expanded to headquarters building by 20% by discovering a hidden room (was massive, had apple computers from the 70s and 80s in dusty storage), fixed a bunch of supply issues, found a missing humvee, stopped a guy from deserting (same unit as Bergdahl, but wasn’t Bergdahl), and a shitload of other stuff.
Later, back in Alaska stopped my roommate from dying. I had fully expected jail, but enough guys knew what had happened, and after saving my roommates’ life, I was given a break and chaptered out… not for my injury, but as a somatoform. Part of my punishment was orders to NEVER work out, or do physical therapy. My leg had severely atrophied, and could barely walk. I spent two years rebuilding it enough to walk without a limp. Couldn’t find work anywhere, economy was in shambles. My town has the largest numbers of casinos population density anywhere in the US. Just shootings.
Ended up going to San Francisco, without even a sleepingbag. A few changes of clothes, and a rucksack full of philosophy books. Couldn’t carry it long at all. Was killing me, just two miles. Slept my first night in a patch of poison ivy.
Each day, a little farther. I eventually got over my hatred of the military. I remember prior to my injury, it had been suggested a few times I should go to West Point. I also was encouraged to go to a inventor unit down in Virginia to design weapons. I eventually decided it was better to understand the military as a twisted entity, full of vices, but also of compelling virtues in how it approaches necessity. It rips through peoples lives in utmost ignorance… but that’s because it promotes the people who have no where else to go, generally the lazy and dumb. No one ever tried to teach it otherwise.
This is why I have Lt. Colonels and Colonels in my fanbase in history groups. I pay special care to them. Its better to be part of the solution, and not part of the problem.
I have a hike ahead of me. You have a good day. Van ain’t bad living, I’ve had so much worst.
Depends on the sex offender, his charges, and his importance/usefulness to the other inmates.
I didn’t get the broom stick in the ass because I was not a violent sex offender (although my charges are classified as violent- get that; no physical contact made and still my charge is somehow ‘violent’) I demanded that anybody who associated with me read my motion of discovery so they would not mistake me as a child molester or rapist. If they were no willing to do that, I would have no business with them.
Once I made a few friends I was in my clique. Zoot used to be a flasher, he’d never hurt anyone. Got a few screws loose but he’s a great guy and just listen to him talk. He’s the smartest dude in this entire prison. And if you want a radio fixed or your amp replaced, talk to Zoot. He’ll do it for three coffees and a honey bun.
We used to study philosophy at the table in the day room. Everybody has their own table… you just kind of fall in place and don’t take anyone’s seat. I used to debate with the head Muslims and Christians in the block while the fledglings sat around and listened. Lot of blacks get into Islam in prison; the whole ‘christianity is the white devils tool’ kind of diatribe. It was difficult to keep the discussion from getting over the heads of these guys, so I customized my approach and took a Socratic route. Asking the right questions… leading your interlocutor in certain directions of reasoning, that kind of thing. I was, in fact, a peace maker, a diplomat. I could have an Aryan shaking the hand of a black man in less than five minutes.
Inmates would always come to me for legal advice. Some were appealing death sentences, others had life. Matthew was twenty three. On the orders of his Sgt. he cut the throat of the Sgt.'s wife. Got a life sentence. Matthew was a bright kid, second smartest in the block. He just made a bad choice and lost his life because of it. John shot his uncle at point blank range with a twelve guage because of a bad drug deal. He got twenty one years. I turned him onto philosophy, giving him the paperback ‘The Story of Philosophy’ by Will Durant.
Most of the real sex offenders aren’t bothered with other than the ocassional extortion. A sex offender will snitch in a second, and officers will run back the tape to see who beat his ass. So the inmates didn’t usually bother them, just avoided them. Tim had a forty year sentence for raping a relative’s kid, if I remember correctly. He was a short, gay, nerdy looking guy who never said a word to anybody. He would walk laps on the yard by himself listening to his radio. Once in a while I would walk with him, but I never asked about his charges. Found out through inmate gossip. I felt good and bad for Tim. He was the kind of sex offender who could never be cured. Had he stayed out he’da done it again eventually. I was sorry that Tim had to do what he did, but glad for the children and the parents out there who don’t have to worry about Tim ever again. Sometimes I would buy him a soda at the canteen and we would walk laps in silence beside each other. He wasn’t very smart so I couldn’t talk to him about anything interesting.
As a flasher in prison you have to make sure you don’t get mixed up with the molesters and rapists. Until you explain this inmates will assume you are.
And if it will make you feel any better; I haven’t committed a sex crime in over seven years and won’t ever do it again. I have been purged thanks to a few friends at KT and ILP (you know who you are).
No it’s nothing like that. The spinal column isn’t twisted or anything. It’s the slight tilt from the short leg than compliments the pressure put on the nerve there at the disk. It’s healed, but there is always pain. I’ve made my own orthodic lift and it seems not to be getting any worse. That’s the best I can do.
If I listened to you, Dr. Ferg, I’d be hit by a fucking train. Maybe that’s what you want.
I didn’t read this whole thread because it jumped the shark after that whole -ius thing. Detrops op is the best prose I’ve read in years. He’s a few pixels away from publishing it somewhere.
The stuff that happened to this guy is sad. And ever the genius, his line about the hypocracy of prisons breaking rules is as good as anything any -ius came up with.
Saddest of all is the vow of revenge. It’s not the revenge motive that’s sad. It’s that it sounds like criminal revenge, which is no revenge, but rather more nourishment for the hell beast that tried to consume detrop and failed.
I’ve never been to prison. But I have relatives who survived concentration camps. They had their revenge by writing books, living long lives full of sunshine and prosperity. As a long time and reluctant but inevitable fan of detrop – as imperfect as he is – I hope this is the kind of revenge he ultimately chooses.
Oops, out of battery power. Gotta plug in, Be right back.
Fucking hit submit instead of cancel. Brb.
(A) Don’t be a smart ass. I wasn’t trying to write a thesis. It was just some random incidents in prison that I had recorded on paper. I had it in my head that I might be able to sue the bastards if I could get something together.
See (A).
Is that what it was?
note to self: avoid all hell beasts if possible.
youre being humble man. You have a gift. You have some memories and you express them with a kind of easy and direct talent. Like Hemingway. It’s the ability to organize the events in a meaningful way and then record them in a great way. I could have read a book length of that. it would be an Oprah book and help prison reform and make u rich, and be a good piece of art. That’s how I really feel. So what do u think about that, Brian?
Really drilling me with that sacrcasm, arncha?
And no I don’t think about that. I don’t have the patience to write a book.
I don’t do sarcasm.
Satire…Non sequitoria…these are the bitches whoms door I’ve darkened. But never lowly sarcasm,
For only a low pig, a feeble inbred would lay with lady sarcasm. That is not my MO and you know this. I say what I mean.
know this, Jon snow: you have something with this prison rant/memoir or whatever you want or likely don’t want to call it.
“I don’t have the patience to write a book.”
That’s the first line
Write a second, and a third.
Mostly cut and paste, you have a decent start. .
civil disobedience takes balls
Writing a book takes bigger one
If u step up I’ll…
Yeah you know fuck those jerks. Yeah hell yeah I will help you. Send me your drafts. I can help.
You fukcing pussy some kid not as tough as you will rot in there. Fuck your story, tell his. Cause you can. I can’t.
Call me sarcastic again and you are the bitch of the century. I’m 44 and have a big wild gray beard on my dumb mug. I’m ready for this shit.
You want to make money off this shit, I’m your Jew, son. This shit is on time. I ain’t tryin to waste my time
Wouldn’t one of his balls be bigger than the other then?
Your advocating a lopsided ballsack. He would have to comb his nut hair to the smaller side to compensate.
Not my problem. Blame your God. But I if wanted to help, hanging a district attorney by his intestines from a light pole in front of the court house with a sign reading ‘I didn’t tell the truth’ would be far more effective.
If you were a DA, which would better persuade you to tell the truth. A dead DA hanging in front of the court house, or a book. Nuff said.
I’m not gonna do any DAs, but I’m not writing a book either.
Ever notice how your balls don’t hang evenly? There’s a pretty clever reason for that. Sperm can only be produced at a certain temperature. Two balls beside each other get too hot, so one hangs lower. How about that.
Dilemma. Detrops story is impressive and as well written as Gamer says, but the quality of it is most likely in part due to that vengeful spirit. You cant write stuff like that being aloof and ’ over it '. And yet this resenting the prison system for being the deliberately cruel and unjust system it is, suggests a lack of historical perspective on law and order. Anyone who has been on the receiving end of the law, even for a night, knows there is nothing of reason left after the bracelets go on. The point is simply " we can crush you if we choose " . That is the instinct that brought prisonhood about. Its mainly a tool to make disliked people aware they are inferior. The idea of justice, be it in international or domestic capacity, is used to serve that instinct. It needs to go somewhere. And sex acts get people who have a lof of problems with personal power especially worked up. Feminism is another symptom of it. ( at the core of feminism is the rape fantasy, as the early feminists used to have the balls to admit).
I see what you mean, but how does humanity and individuals get past that? Don’t you think people should embrace their drives?
Even where people can see it, there is a wall when it comes to sex acts. They think that no matter what such people should pay, then let it go at that.
The law can ‘express’ itself however it wants given the green light. …within reason of course.
Naturally ‘the system’* manipulates the whole thing as if to mould society ~ and it mostly works. There are a few of us ouslander’s [extremes of centre] left but they are gradually reducing all oppositions.
*the collection of actors majoritively driving the play/agenda ~ even where that isn’t directly manifest.
_
Orb what the hell are you talking about? I can never understand your posts man. I swear I’m trying. I’ll read it like five times and still get nothing.
FC: I do not resent the system for being cruel, I resent it for being incompetent and/or corrupt. You are aware of the fundamentals of punishment and the kinds and purposes of punishment as you have read N’s Genealogy. Punishment is not always about ‘crushing’. It also serves to rehabilitate and correct. Economically, it is easier to recondition a person and put them back into society than keep them incarcerated at the state’s expense and/or execute them. Government should want to make workers and tax payers out of people, not prisoners. That’s how people should be used by the state, and the prison system should be used to that end.
Another thing. There will always be more corruption in law when prosecutors are given the opportunity and potential to advance. They more quickly bend the rules, cut corners and deals with defense attorneys, etc., because they want whatever kind of promotion is avaliable.
I told you 90 percent of felonies are handled by plea bargaining. Do you know what a plea bargain is and how it works? When you understand you’ll see it isn’t a bargain at all, but a farce designed to scare you into refusing a trial and pleading guilty.
You get pulled over and arrested for a bag of weed. You claim it wasn’t your weed but your friends. The asshole threw the bag on the floor when the cop pulled you. Your charge is less than a half ounce. When I (the assistant DA) see this charge, and then discover that you might plead not guilty, I’ve got a potential problem. If I wish to charge you, I’ve got to pay for the trial and take the time to do it. Also, there is the possibility that you might win. I don’t want to do this; I want to get you in and out as quickly as possible as guilty and add that conviction to my record (because next year I’m running for district attorney).
So I’ve got a plan. I’m also going to charge FC with attempt to deliver and distribute illegal substance because you were driving in your car. Now I know this was FC’s personal bag and that he wasn’t delivering it to anyone, but I’m gonna lie to myself and others and say I think he was.
Then we meet. Mr. FC, if you plead guilty to possession I’ll drop the attempt to deliver and distribute. But if you refuse, I’ll ask for the maximum sentence for both charges.
Now what do you do? Do you want to take a chance and try to convince a jury of twelve morons that that bag was your brothers, at the risk of them not believing you and you being found guilty of both charges? Ah… now you aren’t so sure anymore. I gotcha fucked up, FC. Gotchu in my hand, huh?
So you sign the plea deal, I save the state’s money, spend no time on the case, and get my conviction… while you get probation.
Pretty slick, eh?
Ok fine don’t write a book. I’m not mad.
But pls continue on with more of those tidbits.
So fun to read because it’s so purely content driven.
You know exactly what you want to say and you say it with a directness that can only mean truth.
But the fact you write it at all is good enough.
has the experience changed your philosophy of life or your definition of meaning?
Were there times you cried or felt sorry for yourself? because that would seem normal. but your descriptions sound like you took it in with detached bemusement, noting the injustices and saving up the resentment. Did you ever once think maybe even though the charges were trumped up you still maybe made some choices that lead to your incarceration and then regretted those choices?
Did you get cape fear ripped? What book did you read in the joint that gave you the most solace? Amid the human trash and misery, did you encounter beauty, kindness or a ray of hope even once? Did you witness anything noble? Did you do anything noble for someone else?
How the hell did u get thru it? Those endless cold nights in extreme discomfort with no radio, no blanket, etc. Your blazing fast mind capable of so much. Just how the fuck did u get thru it? what kept u going?
No, just further strengthened what I had already believed.
Not once in prison. I don’t go into feel-sorry-for-myself mode while in prison. I do cry though… usually about once a month, give or take. Had a good cry about a week ago. There is only one feeling as intense as enraged anger, and that is utter hopelessness and despair.
They say ignorance of the law is no excuse. Maybe maybe not. But whenever I flashed someone I was always fully aware of the consequences OF THE CRIME I WAS COMMITTING, and chose to still commit the crime. Never once have I ever protested a misdemeanor, indecent exposure charge. Now, I DO NOT accept responsibility for my four year incarceration because I DID NOT commit a crime that called for that sentence. My ‘choice’ did not land me in prison. Do you understand this, or should I try to explain all this again?
Before I got put into ICON I had gained muscle mass and was using free weights. Once in ICON, I had no access to weights and a very low protein intake. I lost the muscle mass but increased muscle tone through calisthenics, using my own body weight. At one point I was doing headstand push-ups like an idiot to simulate a military press (upper shoulders). Oh you’ll like this; I made a water bag which I was using in my cell. One day the thing busted and water went everywhere. Flooded the whole hallway. I was punished and my rec was taken away for a period of time.
Mostly fiction. That’s all they had. Read almost everything Stephen King wrote, some Koontz, some other authors I forget the name of. Read Tolkien again, of course.
Sometimes inmates do what appears to be noble but is really for other, manipulative reasons. But no, there was no beauty anywhere except for that blonde nurse. What she was doing working in a prison full of human trash is beyond me. Maybe she was an intern, I don’t know. But you don’t choose to work in a prison unless you have no other options.
I helped where and when I could. The occasional loan, fixing a radio for free, giving my scrabble opponent a 100 point lead to help him out, that kind of stuff. I hit 555 two days after I entered blue pod and signed the board. Who’s the new guy? I dunno, but don’t play him in scrabble. I gambled a lot with scrabble… one of my main sources of income. Eventually the inmates refused to play me so I ended up trying to teach them how to be a better player.
I also prevented a small inmate strike from getting out of hand. Over 100 hundred inmates had gathered on the basketball court and refused to come in after rec. The water tank feeding the prison had some kind of problem, so the showers couldn’t be run as long. This caused the the staff to reduce the amount of shower time each inmate had, which pissed them off. I requested to talk to the superintendent and suggested a reworking or the daily schedule to give inmates more shower time. He did it.
This is an example of that melodramatic interest that only a Gamer could fake. You’re not a journalist, Gamer. Don’t be so obnoxious.
Thanks for sharing that stuff – it’s all very interesting and well told. You have a cool point of view because you’re clearly bright but unconventional. It’s a great juxtaposition for writing. Part of the reason I like David foster wallace is how he blends genius with an off-beat rogue perspective. He spent a lot of time in inpatient rehab and wrote about it in Infinite Jest. You’re diff than wallace, and in some ways more fun, because you’re smart, you have dimension, but your moral center is sneaky. You seem “chaotic neutral” and can go either way. It’s fun to watch you play along the edges of chaotic good and chaotic evil and keep the reader guessing. You make for a great literary hero full of intrigue.
I didn’t know you flashed – that’s weird. I’m not a fan of criminals but a very close relative was in prison and is now gone at a young age, so I’m not without compassion. The unfairness of life is layer upon layer, nature and then the structures we build, unfairness is built in our own bodies. It’s in everything we see and consume. So I won’t judge. I’m not a fan of your choices but I’m a fan of your writing. And I realize your choices were minor compared to the sentence your received. If that’s the case then you are a victim and a survivor. On behalf of the human race and the universe, I apologize for what happened. Sorry if you feel I’m bating you or hosing you in any way. Maybe you’re not used to this kind of encouragement. Whatever you do, you must keep writing. You have gobs of talent and a unique voice that is worthy of a wide audience. Best of luck to you. We can put this to rest now. Glad to see you back. Pls dnt break any laws.