Also, as far as my character, I’m thinking Johnny Depp. Not because he looks like me (I’m a bit prettier, I think), but because he has that right combination of normality and neurosis. He just seems suited to playing that kind of part.
The thing is that I’m describing my experiences with you in the best way I know how.
When d63 first meet’s Kristwest’s character, he drives up in a rental car to get a welcoming committee of dogs.
Later on, he’s talking to her,
at which point she looks up and says: just a minute
she walks quickly in the house
then walks back out with a shotgun.
d63 ducks.
She shoots past d63.
Kriswest: feed on that, you little prick.
(sound of something running through the woods)
A coyote keeps trying to get at my chickens.
She stops when she sees d63 cowering:
OhMyGod! You really thought I was out to kill me a commie, didn’t you?
d63: Jesus Christ! It’s not like you don’t have plenty of space to bury me!
d63: what if we’re all just boring.
Lizbeth: then it’s up to you to make sure that doesn’t happen.
d63: Okay, but what if the opposite happens and I find myself with a psycho.
Lizbeth: then I guess your problem with boring becomes a mute point.
Lizbeth (pauses then says): at which point did Alice start schooling the Hatter on Wonderland?
Kriswest:
That’ll feed ya. motherfucker!
d63: I’m sorry, man.
Kriswest: About what? (pauses looking towards woods, then runs into house. Quickly comes out with shotgun and raises and shoots towards woods. d63 ducks)
that’ll school ya, you son of a bitch!
(Sound of something running through woods)
fucking coyote!
She then looks to d63 who is cowering:
OhMyGod! You really thought I was going to shoot me a commie, didn’t you?
d63: It’s not like you don’t have plenty of space to bury me!
Sheez what a waste of a good commie, you are supposed to make em work mucking out the barn or dog yard, at the very least work the garden, donchya yanks know nothin??? 
Actually out here it would most likely be moonshiners or now, meth cookers or marihuana growers. Yep moonshine is still a thriving business here. When we first moved out here I was exploring the 400 acres behind our land. I stumbled across a still then ran like hell out of there and kept my mouth shut. Life is an adventure
And that is some useful information, Kris. It feels like you’re somewhere around the Carolina’s or something like it. But what I need is a little more technical advise such as why you would choose to hang around a philosophy board. It seems like you have to have some education behind you. Regardless of how you are, for my purposes, the character inspired by you has to be more than a redneck.
End of voiceover: So when I cam up with the idea for the article, as much as it was about curiosity, about seeing the people behind the effect on me, looking behind the curtain and seeing who was pulling the levers, it was about letting them see me. It was about redeeming myself.
Scene: bedroom with beer bottles and Jager shooters. Phone rings.
Editor (voiced by B K Simmons): You know, when you get these little brainstorms, wouldn’t it work much better if you just held on to it and polished it before you pitched it?
D63: I’m sorry, man! It just…
Editor: And why do you spend so much time on that board when you should be writing for me?
D63: It keeps my creative flow going?
Editor: Creative flow, huh? Is that the shit I have to edit out to get anything useful.
Anyway, what little I got in the midst of the drunkenese sounded promising. So I talked to the heads and beancounters and got you a greenlight. (Yeah, I was up and working this morning.) Don’t fuck me over here. You hear me?
D63: yeah, thanks man. Sorry about last night.
Editor: fuck you, asshole! You woke me up. Just make it up. Make it work. Oh! and by the way: love you too, asshole.
(d63 cringes as editor hangs up.)
Switches to scene of jet flying through air with Kid Loco’s Flying on a 747 playing on soundtrack.
Born and raised in Arizona, Dad’s family is Pennsylvania wealthy and poor. Mom’s family Texas wealthy and poor. Dad happened to be from tbe wealthy branch of his and Mom from the poor. Dad chose to earn money by being a Sgt. in the military and denied most family finance. This pissed Mom off because she expected the easy life by marrying an heir. After 20 years she found a better prospect but, surprise he too prefered working. Poor materialistic mom, she had the love of two great men but, could not see it. She died an addict rather than divorce my stepdad or seek help, she was also bipolar.
As a kid I was sickly to the point death knocked on my door far more than once. I began reading around 4 years old. To give my parents and doctor an idea of my intelligence level they gave me Jonathan Livingston Seagull to read. I remember connecting with the book. After being quizzed about it, I suddenly graduated to more than Dr. Suess. I am one person you will know that understands that Dr. Suess is a philosopher and taught/teaches kids worldwide philosophies of life. School bored me I dropped out and went to work as soon as possible. I love to learn so I educate myself, at 47 I still do this.
I live in Southern Mississippi.
That is the shortest version of me. The adventures of my life would take too much space. Ask me what you want to know my friend.
Kris I was a crazy kid-reader too. I won like every spelling bee through the 7th grade then started smoking weed and said fuck it.
I would have too but, dyslexia sort of kicked it out the door. Or as I would have spelled door under stress, odor.
What your first books that you remember?
I went from see spot run to Heidi when I was 5. I literally haven’t the slightest clue how many books I’ve read, most old ones are familiar. I consume articles on all kinds of things like they’re candy. Its scattered and obsessive.
Oh good then I am not the only early reader that can’t recall all. Generally I run into pretentious IQers that quote the books I did not think think you were but, there was that itty bitty chance… wheew. that would have just changed sooo much. I did get into mythology.
I’m a mensa defector and I don’t cite anything. I do all my reasoning solo.
D63, tell me more about your story…
Yes, tell about you if you would?
For myself: born in California. Parents divorced when I was 7, at which point my mother moved me to the Midwest where I grew up –except for a year of high school in California which I spent a lot time stoned and ended because of my misguided experiments with PCP. My dad was an ambitious type-A personality and artist while my mom was more down to earth and the source of propensity for drink. After graduation, I spent 4 more years in LA, then moved back and haven’t wanted to go back since. Was mostly a stoner in high school, but had the advantage of being a musician who was writing a lot of songs. Also, spent a lot of time in both rural and urban environments.
From the creative starting point of music, I moved, with some success, through poetry, writing, art, and philosophy. But it wasn’t until I was in my 30’s, and able to go to classes at a university, on an employee scholarship, that I was fully able to appreciate the value of knowledge. In high school, my grades sucked. After the university, I was pretty much a straight A student. The university job didn’t last long, so beyond 4 core social science classes and a couple creative writing classes, I’m pretty much self taught. All college courses I’ve taken since then have pretty much been vocational courses: maintenance and computers.
Hence the creatively and intellectually wild guy you have before you now: always a brainstorm in desperate need of an editor. The thing is: having started thinking it my manifest destiny to become a rock star, I’m not sure I ever really got over it. Everything I do feels like an attempt to become one in some way or other. I should also add that my life has pretty much been a classic (almost cliché) Oedipal complex in my not always successful attempt to merge my father’s creative and intellectual drive with my mother’s alcoholic humanity. To put it another way, I’m an alcoholic who has the advantage of being a workaholic in that I haven’t got time to be a drunk. This is why I prefer to put my vices to work for me.
That said, Kris and Smears, I get the feeling that you both like knowledge, but prefer a more natural hands on approach. You take the piecemeal approach of a Herbert Spencer. You’re a little like a mechanic that learns by just working on machines as compared to one that goes through the whole academic process. I’m seeing a bit of a fusion at work here. As I see it, Kris’ character would be like smear’s in that she would have retired from a job in a philosophy department in which she had witnessed a lot of the pretensions the more “serious philosophers” go through while also learning a lot herself. Hence the reason she spends a lot of time on the board without getting too deep into the abstract technicalities herself. As she says, she enjoys watching others wallow in the mud. She’s the character that brings up the silliness of it that all the creatively and intellectually curious come to sooner or later.
Also, while I was primarily driven by my disgust with the war on drugs in my early years (I wanted to prove that a stoner/alcoholic could gather intel like anyone else); I’m primarily driven by my disgust with Capitalism now (hence my 5 year digression with vocational classes to prove I wasn’t just a whiner).
Kris: That’ll school ya, you son of a bitch!
goddamn coyote.
[Stops when she sees d63 squirming on the swing chair.]
Kris: Christ! You really thought I was gonna shoot me a commie, didn’t you?
d63: well there’s plenty of space to bury me!
Kris: but it would never be far enough away for me, sweetie.
Jesus! Sit up you stupid fool!
Let’s do that interview.
Dude I did work in a phl dept and witness much pretentiousness and learn a lot myself. I’m also the most truly self sufficient person that I know, other than a few of my friends who are totally off the grid. On top of that, I haven’t gone a day without ingesting something intoxicating in like 15 years or more, and I hate greedy assholes who think it’s ok to have 10 houses when there are people starving and what have you. We should start a band. I’ve got a couple guitars and a screaming loud marshall. I can play the shit out of the guitar but I don’t have the patience for creativity.