Shook hands today with a rapist

When I was a kid I’d go to the dentist and they’d put me on that nitrous. I figured out that every couple of minutes, a nurse would pop in and ask how you were doing. So long as you responded, they let you have more gas. I literally trained myself w/ all my focus to just keep responding and I would get insane visuals man. The dentist even came in once and noted that 30% nitrous for so many minutes normally knocked people out, but that mine was on 50% for way longer.

It’s always been hard for me to sleep. I was prescribed phenobarbitol when I was in high school, triazadone, ambien whatever. Sleeping pills don’t make me sleep, they just put me into a trance where I have insane focus. I can take ambien and read a book through the night and retain the information.

I only sleep when my body physically passes out. No more than 6 hours consecutively, at the most in as long as I can remember.

About the mushrooms, I grow those too. I just got a whole new set of substrate jars and am trying to pick the next strain. I’ll let you know how they come out.

If you can stay awake for extended periods of time, then power to you.

I can’t. I wish I could. And when I sleep for too long without dreaming I feel like it’s not good.

Let me know how the spores go.

Will do man. You know I have this friend who I went to high school with. She got a scholarship and went to college immediately, got out and took a corporate job, and has been there for 12 years or something. She’s been investing in real estate and now owns about 20 rental properties, and literally works her ass off all the time and has to put up with constant bullshit.

I went to college too, but instead of studying business or whatever, I studied philosophy and history. I took 4 years before I went to college and just travelled all over the place doing drugs and acting a fool.

I never really went and got an amazing job. I just always sold a little weed when I was a kid, and I never really stopped. Now I’m almost 33, and I’ve got people sending me packages of dope from 3 different places in the country on a weekly basis, and I grow my own which last year was worth about 15 grand or so.

So my job is that I work with my friend who owns a whole bunch of restaurants, basically putting out fires, cleaning up messes, (not ones on the floor but the metaphorical ones you run into w/ running restaurants), and he pays me pretty well. I could live like I do now, completely on my own without a relative in sight just off my regular job. But I do the other thing too. After all these years the networking has payed off.

She was explaining to me how she was jealous of my life because I’ve been all over Europe and I’ve seen the greatest artwork in history, and I’ve had the luxury of studying philosophy instead of business, and I don’t have to work on a particular schedule or even really show up for alot of the things I do. And in the end, we sat and did the math, and I actually have more disposable income than she does. It literally makes her sick.

But it goes right back to what I said earlier. If you’re enterprising, you wont let the system enslave you. I have a friend who makes probably 200k a year growing weed in a far away land. All he does with his life is go mountain climbing, camping, skateboarding and he travels to crazy places he wants to see.

It’s a crazy world man. But I firmly believe that if you want something, in the US at least, you can get it. I’ve just seen it done too many time to believe otherwise.

Business is about doing whatever you have to do to get what you want. This girl was tricked into working her ass off so she’d have money to travel the world, and they gave her the money but not the time. She followed the rules thinking she would be better off, and she’s facing the fact that all she got out of it was the “prestige” of a high paying job.

I hope this gives you some insight into how I can be so egotistical and harsh in my posts. I’ve literally not had to answer to anyone in like 15 years and I’ve just been able to act like a kid and do what I want. It’s stupid man sometimes but I just don’t know.

Don’t think the system enslaves me. This is just a character.

The underlying point is that it’s pointless to live life giving yourself praise in the face of everyone else’s confusion and derp.

I’ve been here many times before, and I’m always successful. It just depends what you’re after this time around. Material wealth is the easiest of the wealths to accumulate.

I know man. It was hard becoming such a cultured and well rounded person with such good values and all. The money comes pretty easy.

It’s hard to conceive of a world without money.

But we have to start somewhere.

Then we can get into things that don’t get tied down by the usual eventualities.

Like drug experiences. This type of spiritual next-level stuff shouldn’t be sequestered to the corner of some fringe apartment. It’s the future of mankind.

One time, in the late 90s, I literally split a vial of lsd w/ a dude. We took something like 30+ drops each. Although this was like my 100th time probably taking acid, I was absolutely fried for like 3 or 4 days. I went to a 3 day festival concert, all three days, in the same clothes, on the same drugs. It was one of the top 2 times I’ve been the most fucked up.

The other was mixing lsd and ketamine. My friend was driving the car and I was tripping on a handful of gelcaps, and I just decided fuck it, I’d do a couple rails of K just to see what would happen. If acid makes it impossible for you to sleep or feel sedated, and ketamine puts you in a k-hole, what might happen?

It was fucking bizarre man. My bodt felt in a way that I will never forget. The visuals were unmatched by any amount of other drugs or sleep deprivation I’d ever expereinced. I couldn’t talk or move but I was literally tripping my balls off.

I think doing shit like that is like the equivallent of living a whole year of just a normal life. It’s like a crash course in who the fuck you are and what the hell’s going on around you and in your mind. Intense man.

I also love seeing dishonest assholes get exactly what they deserve. It’s one of the highlights of my existence. O:)