Last few minutes I’ve been considering disbanding this Philosophers Clan, nominally in my mind. Things that carry little to no consequence “irl” can easily still dominate the taste or colour of ones general mood, even in a background capacity. I was wondering if the existence of this clan in my mind was impeding me. Because not a lot of its promise that I playfully imagined has been … but… is this even true?
Since the foundation of this clan my life has become tremendously unpredictable and frankly, weird as fuck.
My posting in as far as it was transformative might have more or less ended there, except in my capacity of barbarianhorde. What began happening is a shift to the arts, to take them more seriously. This all started with the weird but sexy art project with a girl named Esther whom I met on an MDMA party, where I had been invited by a girl I met in a breakfast cafe on Jean Talon if Im not mistaken. A film project which we started on my birthday in 2016.
From there on, things started to get even weirder. Because I took up weed-smoking one night. It may have been the night of my 39th birthday. Im pretty sure it was. People had commented on my Facebook and I was looking at the comments with Pezer, noting one ostensibly gay comment at which I took offence. In those days there were several ILP posters too who constantly were fixated on my supposed gayness. In the meantime I was absorbed by several young ladies I had met in the few weeks of sobriety there.
So as Pezer remained sober, I did not. Pretty soon I was lying on my back on the wood floor of the rooms I had rented as Pezer was stoically smoking a cigarette at the windowsill. It was then that I realized how much I was being troubled by a feeling of guilt. Guilt before my family, in fact. For not having lived up to the ecxpectations of me as a bright and innocent kid of certain genius and artistic capacity. I should have been a millionaire by now, etcetera. I then realized something else, which I can’t tell here.
What happened was the start of a process of true psychoanalysis.
This chart shows Uranus exactly on my ascendant, opposed the Sun, on my descendant.
For an astrologer, this is clear enough. This act, this foundation of the Clan was in fact a re-establishment of my personal soul in the framework of my life. It was all very personal to my own existence, obviously. Perhaps I just “used” philosophical friends to get to the bottom of what was going on with me.
Where during the discovery off Value Ontology, Pluto was crossing my Midheaven, during this foundation it crossed my Mercury.
Recently it has been crossing over my Mars, which has led to the culmination of this entire process, in the release into consciousness of some really troubling stuff - such things are released only when one has the capacity to engage them.
But all in all, what happened recently, under Mars-Pluto, has been logically the direct result of that night of first smoke, lying on the wooden floors of the apartment in Rosemont. The psychoanalysis.
I think I should be relieved. I do feel relieved. Of what?
Of the city, of weaknesses I took for granted but that weren’t mine.
Yeah well when you described that sexual encounter you had with a dude whenever it was, you took the risk of being insulted by everyone that heard you… and you should have known that numbnuts turd Ferguson would run with it.
You remember what I’m talking about, yes? Few years back when you admitted to putting from the rough? Playing backdoor bandits?
Man you shoulda never said that in the company of these animals. If I were you i’da found a forum of bonafide Greeks where getting your gay on is as natural as asking stupid metaphysical questions. You probably woulda rose through the ranks pretty quickly.
But you shouldn’t feel guilty in any case. Gayness or bisexuality is only a demerit when your an idiot in addition to it. You’re not an idiot, just a clever asshat looking for love in all the wrong places.
Haha. Yeah well. Ill just formally state that I was not the one picking up the soap.
Its pretty weird how much of an impact that had. For a year or so several dudes lives were entirely transfixed by this experience of mine they had learned of.
If only I was American I could run for president on looks and construed ambiguity alone.
To finance this thing Jakob and Pedro will need to drop an album… then once we find a location, I can build the sonofabitch myself. You guys get the money, land and materials and I’ll provide the grease.
Because you’re a giver and not a taker, right? I’ve always said that capitalists find the strangest ways to give back to the community. You usually end up getting fucked in the ass regardless.
It rather awakened me to the fact that there is a cruel hierarchy among men based simply on size.
Not that this was unknown to me before that, but I never realized the extent to which some mens lives are being shaped by not being able to satisfy a woman in a straightforward way.
Its really a very interesting phenomenon. Im not sorry I learned something about it. One thing I learned is how many dudes are completely fascinated by it, far more so than I am - Im not at all, really. If I had been fascinated Id have firmly stayed away from it I reckon.
I now know Turd is as gay as Kevin Spacey. He was so far more interested in this experience of mine than I am and he left the site directly on finding out I am in fact straight when I posted a picture, to dispel the rumours that he was on this site solely to propagate.
No doubt. The whole thing is a mess because most dudes got the hierarchy screwed up and are too preoccupied with wanting to ‘please’ other people. When they don’t succeed in being a servant in one way, they want to become a servant in another way.
Order of ranks:
Big balls (courage, resolve, etc.)
Big brain (ability to give direction and substance to 1.)
Big muscles (ability to handle dat if not 2.)
Big wallet (ability to handle dat if not 3.)
Big johnson (ability to be taken seriously if not 1, 2, or 3 or 4)
The superman would possess a degree of all ranks, but always in the service of 1. 1 is the only thing that truly matters.
I was thinking about starting really small scale.
Tents and then a single building for shower, toilet, tub, etc.
If things grow, id have public rooms which are heated and full of goodies,
The people that move in are welcome to build there.
I’m thinking it will be donation oriented.
When someone builds a small house there, they can keep it there for free.
I definitely want chickens and green houses on the land set up.
I was considering growing tobacco in the green houses.
Not for me, but for people to sell for me.
That is just one idea. Many things can be done.
I want to wait for this project until the next summer.
I’d need money to make my end happen.
1 : Set up near edmonton alberta.
2 : Set up on dad’s land near drayton valley.
If you bring your own tent, there would be a suggested 7$ a day donation for the cause and upkeep.
But ofcourse, it would be free for Jakob, if need be.
The idea is to get enough resources during the summer,
to own a small home for the winter.
Id spend donations on things like solar power, extra buildings, etc.
The thing about psychoanalysis is that it is too much about “me,” like my literature teacher used to say about Romanticism.
The P’s C is real, and it ain’t about “me.” It’s more of a “check out what I can do.”
So, you know. Having founded it, there is not much more J had to do for us to check out. It’s fine if he made it about psychoanalysis after, I mean what more do y’all niggers want?
Aaaaanywho.
Sweet dreams gentlemen. For tomorrow, we go to warf. To the warf. That’s like an ocean thing, right? Ah, fuck off.
