I’m sure there are females out there who find playing the ukulele sexy. It all depends on what they’re into.
That’s those kinds of bitches who eat mushroom, grow dredlocks and listen to Jack Johnson.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F46w1M5A1E[/youtube]
So the other day this guy I know invited me to come and hang out a strip club, and normally I don’t exactly frequent the place, but I figured that I might as well because there were going to be a few people there and it was a thing people were doing, so I went.
Here’s what happened. I spent like 300 bucks on shot of liquor and a bunch of beer and giving some people 1’s to go and tip strippers.
I got 3 lapdances, 1 for free from a stripper who thought I really liked her even though I didn’t, 1 in exchange for my t-shirt that says, “money hoes and clothes”, and 1 for 20 bucks because I actually felt bad for the stripper. None of them were up to par as far as being bitches that I would actually have sex with, but I didn’t want to hurt their feelings so I complied with them and took the lapdances.
I ran into 2 girls I know. 1 of them is friends with a girl I used to room with, and recently bit off the end of her tongue when she was ran off the road by another car, the other is a friend of my sister’s who I didn’t know was a stripper. I’m gonna try and bang that one it’s just a matter of time.
I forgot where I was going with this. Fuck it.
Someone asked me what I would do if I won the lottery and I told them this.
I said, I would open a shelter for women who have eating disorders and fake tits. I always feel sorry for girls with fake tits. Other women call them sluts and whores and all they wanted to do was feel better about themselves. And I’ve always loved girls with eating disorders. If there’s one thing that can keep my dick hard all day and make me bust a bunch of nuts, it’s about 5 foot 2, 115lbs and had d’s or better. I honestly don’t care what anyone’s opinion of that is.
When you call someone superficial because they have fake tits, or because they wear nice clothes, or because of what they drive…you’re the one who’s judging based on appearances and that means you’re the shallow one.
Some of the best people I’ve ever met have been incredibly attractive women.
Also that 5’2, 115lbs with D’s or better needs to have a tight, solid core. No soft bitches. No bitches that have bellies flailing around when they’re riding it. If I put my hand on that stomach, I’d better not be able to pinch out a roll of fat. That grosses me out and it makes me feel like I don’t want anything to do w/ em anymore. I mean damn…what’s 30 or 40 sit ups before you get out of bed and a little less sugar? It’s like they don’t even care about anything.
I’ve always said I like a girl that’s skinny enough so that when she bends over she can actually poke that thing out the back. I don’t want to have to spread your cheeks out to see the hole. Poke it out the back from between 2 super skinny cheeks and we have a deal.
I think that’s how one should decide who they spend their time with when it comes to a relationship. Look…I can pay my own bills, I can console myself after a loss, I can eat by myself no problem, I can do my own laundry and scratch my own back. I can get a cab to a hospital if I need anesthesia, I can do pretty much anything I need done without anyone’s help. What I can’t do, is make my dick hard all day and nut like a half dozen times. When I meet girls who can make that happen, I don’t give a fuck who they are or where they come from or what else they can do for me. That’s a thing that only the right kind of bitch can do. So why rule her out for some other reason? What need do I have that she has to fulfill? None that I can think of, so no matter how good a bitch might be, if she doesn’t make my dick hard all day and make me bust mad nuts…it just isn’t going to work out.
I think it might have been Carleas… pictures deleted and thread reinstated to NPC.
There must be some extreme which even to you is disgusting. Would you hit this:
mr reasonable wrote:
Which leads me to believe, you at some time in your life, were grossly over weight and have a fear of regressing.
BTW 115 lbs is a healthy weight for a 5’2 babe, definitely not anorexic.
Then it sounds like they’re just health-conscious eaters rather than with eating disorder… people always think someone’s got a problem just because they’re not stuffing their ass full of calorie-laden processed foods.
Eating healthy shouldn’t equate to a diet, but to maintaining an optimal healthy weight, and that’s the best way to live.
From the back…sure.
Nah. I just don’t find myself attracted to people who are too jiggly.
Experiencing indigestion from spicy food. Chews on Tums
I agree. I think they look good at 5’2 and 115. But there are some who would naturally weigh more, and if they skip a few meals here and there it can really help em to be hotter.
Storage Hoarders!
Watched it for the first time today, even though I’d seen it advertised before… that show gave me jokes today.
Lip Sync Battle USA… watching a few eps now after just finished watching The Voice UK 
Spent the last few days actioning paperwork and emails, before moving onto compiling an action plan for my Caribbean Conservatives group, to get us invited to The Commonwealth Office, The Houses of Parliament, Number 10 etc. on key dates in the Caribbean calendar.
Eating fruity pebbles, drinking kraken rum, doing laundry and posting on ILP.
i’m selling my night for $300, apparently
LIVING BY THE LAW OF THE AAAAGEEES
PROPHETS AND SAAAGEEEEESS
FORGING UTOOOOPIAAAAA
DUN DUN DUN DUN
This place looks fucking run down, btw.