As far as what I hear from opium experts, it is the hardest drug, in that it doesn’t really allow a way back.
The drug Id least happily do again is xtc, Ive done it twice and then found out I had actually gaps in my memory, no recollection of saying something I said only an hour before. And I had an all round disgusted feeling.
Thats drug is real trash.
Was at an MDMA party once which was the most sleazy, hypocritical shit ever. Never been so glad to step out of the door somewhere. I can still feel the frozen dew on my nostrils.
well i remember getting this stuff my circle of friends used to call ‘soapium’ or ‘red-rock’, and it was supposed to be fake opium (somehow)… but it still got you high, or low, rather. probably some cocktail designer drug cheaply modeled off opium… or maybe it was just opium with some major cut in it, i dunno. but as far as i know, i’ve never smoked what i knew was the real shit. this was in my late teens and twenties, when i began that long journey into desperate degeneracy.
Only time I had a taste of opium was when I was recuperating from a pretty serious beating I took when I had attacked a security guard where I had had a bit too much to drink and not just whiskey. The damage wasn’t done by the security guard but by people who took advantage of the situation. Anyway, so I was recuperating and the drummer of this song was able to hook me up with some real opium carrying prescription pills from his wife.
It was a mild dose, but I got it. Everything was impossibly crisp, I was impossibly calm, detached, there was no reason to ever get up and do anything at all, no pathos. Only crisp apperception and ultimate relaxation.
This is the sort of experience I know I should not be seeking out.
Funny you mention that… one of the party-guests had tried opium… somewhere East/in Asia, and she relayed that how she has never felt the same since… and it had happened years ago, so she felt definitely caught in that opium vortex you mention.
Lol… I get that/your perceptions, in those situations, when at parties and in clubs surrounded by most that are on something or other.
…what experiences do you think you should be seeking?
Interesting to see that confirmed.
So apparently opium truly places oneself out of the system of ones instincts.
Likely, the only sensible way to go about an opium addiction is to become a writer.
Well this was a private, cozy get together of some 20 friends in an apartment rented for that occasion, where special high grade capsules of MDMA were distributed among the guests. So everyone was on the same drug and everyone was being intimate with each other. Some were having sex in bunk beds where others were sighing, hunched over a sooth-sayer telling peoples destinies in a deep meaningful voice, people were hugging for hours talking about their parents, and I was just struggling with the discrepancy between the extreme dopamine rush and the lack of any accomplishment to relate it to. Not a drug for people taking themselves seriously.
The difference is in involvement, engagement. The opium experience is essentially disengaged. I seek the opposite.
For example, a while back, as a result of really hitting rock-bottom i.e. I had no income and had run out of money, had no next-of-kin as well as an extreme lack of faith in the benefits system (which was reinforced during this period), I starved for 5 weeks. Literally. No food for 5 weeks. Eventually I contacted emergency services and was admitted to hospital where I stayed for 2 months. That was an experience I would not have missed for the world, especially the starving bit, unpleasant though it undoubtedly was. (All is well now, I might add.)
How does experience expand my mind? Well, experience confers wisdom. Therefore I am not taken in by people who make false claims about e.g. starvation, because I know what it is like. So I know perfectly well that those in power in this country i.e. politicians, who pass laws which are supposedly to benefit the poor have not the slightest idea what they are talking about. It fact, it makes me realise how cut-off from the daily reality of ordinary folks lives politicians actually are. So, wisdom accrued from experience includes the ability to assess people for myself. In fact, it gives me an unimagined degree of independence. Experience also keeps me grounded and in touch with the reality of life (as opposed to the fantasy versions espoused by e.g. politicians).
Ok well that fits the pattern. Apparently she had a low tolerance.
Just a measure of distance can produce a lot of perspective and opportunity to observe the world of instincts, and this can make for interesting fiction or philosophy. But… well, I guess I just don’t need opium. Like cocaine, I seem to produce the experienced qualities of the trance much by my own nature.
Hard to fathom just a lusty way of spending a night. Im not sorry I was there. I had a good dream the night after.
Much anything between throwing eggshells and coffee ground under a dead tree trunk to flying a jet in a war.
