So are you also saying that if we realize that we have no hope and don't know what to do about it, it goes away and no longer exists?
Not exactly. When you look at yourself and your life appears to have absolutely no meaning, you go searching for a meaning, you search for a goal. As long as you are searching for a goal, and as long as you are searching for meaning you will remain wandering around restlessly. 'There must after all be something meaningful to do, something with more content, something more interesting than what I'm doing now', you tell yourself. And the only thing you can do is to change yourself? But in reality the only change takes place in your thought structure, you begin to think differently and therefore to experience and feel things differently. Basically however everything remains exactly as it was. You can change your clothes and only wear the most 'fashionable' clothing just to be 'in', but inside you are still the same. Wanting to understand is only useful for changing small things in yourself. There is nothing you can do to change the past. In the hope of changing things in the future, you remain stuck with the present, which is in fact the past.
The past is always active. If the past ends, you end. That is the reason why you will never allow that, no matter how hard you try. The past is everywhere in you. What I’m saying is, why try to change yourself and your past? Just leave it alone and stop looking for a solution to something that is not really a problem for you and that you can’t easily change anyway by relying on something other than you. Only for thought there seems to be a problem because it extracts certain knowledge out of past pleasures and pains, compares the present with it, passes judgments, avoids the present by concocting a future and pursuing it. But for the comparisons that thought makes there is no problem with our life as it is; and there is no other life. It is precisely our thought of a better state that prevents us from coming to terms with our life as it is.
I know that thought is merely functional in its nature and it cannot help me become something which I am not.
I love knowledge (if it makes sense to me). Knowledge seems to be a lifetime of learning experiences. Be it good or bad. I believe in common sense common logic and rational reasoning with intuitive thoughts as well. Knowledge should be shared (without bias)! Freedom of thought speech action and sharing should be our constitution. But that is not reality as we understand it. There are those who want to enslave us to power order and without question if they could. Your knowledge might not be my knowledge and vice versa. But our perception of knowledge is independent on our belief. 
