Vincent and Jules Parody

Vincent: Want to discuss some eliminative materialism?

Jules: No man, I don’t discuss philosophy.

Vincent: Are you a skeptic?

Jules: No, I ain’t a skeptic, I just don’t dig on philosophy, that’s all.

Vincent: Why not?

Jules: Philosophers are pretentious people. I don’t like pretentious people.

Vincent: Yeah, but philosophers make you think. Plato makes you think.

Jules: Hey, Aristotle might make me enlightened, but I’d never know ‘cause I wouldn’t read the arrogant motherfucker. Aristotle didn’t believe in God. That’s an arrogant motherfucker. I ain’t readin’ nobody who ain’t got sense enough to believe in God.

Vincent: How about Stephen Hawking? Stephen Hawking doesn’t believe in God.

Jules: I don’t read Stephen Hawking either.

Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider Stephen Hawking to be an arrogant guy?

Jules: I wouldn’t go so far as to call him arrogant, but he’s definitely pretentious. But Stephen Hawking is an interesting guy. Being interesting goes a long way.

Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a philosopher was an interesting guy, he would cease to be a arrogant person. Is that true?

Jules: Well, we’d have to be talkin’ about one interesting motherfucking philosopher. I mean, he’d have to be ten times more interesting than that Socrates from ancient Greece, you know what I’m saying?

Vincent: [laughing] That’s good.