Monogamy

I know this has been discussed here before, but I find myself pondering it lately. Is monogamy “natural” to humans?

Speaking only of myself, I find it to be…difficult. I have very little interest in maintaining a monogamous relationship. That’s not to say I’m incapable, I’ve certainly done it, but I quickly lose interest in the relationship and end up just continuing in it to satisfy the want/need of the other person to have me there. Of course I’d like to conclude that monogamy is difficult for everyone, but then I look around and see some people who seem so suited to it, and I have to wonder if this is a product of social conditioning, or if maybe some of us are just more suited to it than others, or perhaps there’s something wrong with me, some psychological issue that makes it so undesirable.

So, I’m just looking for your thoughts on the matter, people.

I think it’s natural that some people prefer monogamous relationships, and that cultures might promote them as one means of creating social stability.

Maybe you are asking the wrong question in the first place… comparing yourself to what is deemed natural, or normal, and drawing conclusions about yourself based on that may not be such a good idea.

That said, I do think it’s difficult for most, contrary to the ideal of monogamic romantic love that society usually promotes. Maybe you just aren’t that easily convinced by societal expectations, and the pro’s that come with a monogamous relationship as other people.

And you’re still young, no? I wouldn’t worry about it to much then… and also wouldn’t settle to fast out of some sense of expectation.

I’d like too see if a polymory relationship could work in the long term.

No, i don’t think it would. What seems to work best, is a “monogamous” relationship that devollops into some kind of pratical agreement over time, combined with a series of flings on the side to accomodate for what’s missing in the original relationship.

I think it could.

I don’t know, i 've always had thoughts of having a relationship with two women who also had a relationship with each other.

He, i didn’t think you were serious about polymory, being a stoic and all…

I think jealousy would be a problem in such a relationship. It’s bound to devellop in unbalanced ways, i think, e.g. two of the three getting closer then with the other.

Perhaps my studys haven’t brought this up, but when is polymory abhorred by Stoicism? Adultery is surely but that’s a differant matter.

The thing is polymory is like a love triangle thats actually a triangle rather than a “V”.

You’re undoubtably right about this… it just was an assumption of mine.

Yes, ideally… i don’t think it’s that easy in practice, to just decide it to be like that.

Well, as I have said, I’d like too see if it would work.

If I were sure then I wouldn’t be wondering about it.

Ok, fair enough.

Polygamy and whoredom is the sexual norm for human beings.

Just ask yourself how many people have you had sexual intercourse with in your life.

With women in their late twenties the answer is usually fifteen or more.

With women in their thirties or older the answer is…

Well I hope I’ve been helpful here.

I don’t find it difficult.

For every loyal monogamous couple with a ratio of 5% there is the rest of modern couples cheating amongst themselves having sexual intercourse with others outside the relationship. :slight_smile:

Honey I’m home! It’s really been a rough day screwing around with the secretary at the office.

How’s your day been?

My day has been fantastic sweetheart! I couldn’t choose who to cheat around with behind your back first.

Was it the gardener or the pool boy of whom I slept around with first? I can’t really remember…

Humans can be either Monogamous or any varient of the alternative.
There is no norm, other than that societies worldwide often support monogamy but there are always exceptions.

By norm I mean majority. Wish you luck disproving what I said.

not for PRAYING MANTICE

[size=85][SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAK][/size]

That blew my mind.

I’m not moral enough to engage in partner swapping or polygamy.

I don’t think there is a clear division–it’s a wash. There exists a plethora of psychologies involved. You did mention that you lose interest–I find this to generally be a result of the uncertainty being removed from the situation, becoming familiar, the age old maxim of “from a distance” being brought to mind. You see an individual, are confronted by their simulations/dissimulations and thus create an idealized conception, learning only over time to what extent your imagination renovated the true individual. Or on the contrary, perhaps that proverbial “one” hasn’t walked your way yet, though I am quite skeptical of the notion.

This also concerns the concept of romantic love. Not to be cliche, but I have felt it once…though my inquisitive nature questions it regularly: I am virtually positive I’ve felt what many describe as love. I question, however, if it is a distinct emotion or if it is a bewildering conglomeration of psychologically weighted emotional responses. A sense of dependency, vulnerability, sexual desire, admiration and anxiety were the main components I was able to separate while sifting through the reminiscences of a particularly influential relationship experience.

I will say that multiple fleeting relationships does not work well for someone who is shy, even more so if you spend most of your time behind books, a piano, a sketchbook or a camera lens in nature. Hence, I have been alone for more than a year and a half now…after three years with an aspiring actress/model.