Monogamy

[MagsJ]

Did I hit a nerve?

Of course...you know what power you have over me, you whore.
No matter how stupid you are, you, at the very least, have that. You and Kriswest.

Next tell me how you keep me around because I entertain you, how bad my writing is, or how you do not care what I think.

By the way, simpleton, stop derailing this thread. This is about monogamy.

Kris and myself have many similarities... must be the NA blood

I just don't understand your need for the profanities and ad homs towards others, because otherwise your posts would not warrant you for a ban - do you despise/disrespect others that much?

[Stoic Guardian]

Anyway, about monogamy. I read the first page and a half of responses here , and well...I don't have any specific responses. Can this question be definitively answered? At the end of the day, all I know is that monogamy doesn't suit me while it seems to suit others just fine. I've come to the conclusion that this isn't a question of natural/unnatural, broken/not broken, the simple fact is that some people are suited to monogamy and others aren't, and while I'm sure there is some technical explanation about brain chemistry that would break it all down, it still comes down to, "It is what it is". I'm beyond worrying about whether I'm a genetic dead-end and that's why I don't desire a family unit as strongly as some say I should, or whether anyone who thinks monogamy is our natural state is just a fool lying to themself. People are different, we prefer different things and situations, and this is all part-and-parcel.

I remember some report that certain animals leand absolutely towards one side or the other, Monogomy or Mate with how many they can.

And humans on average did not lead either way.

The answer is quite simple.

There is no "correct" way at least in a biological sense.

It can either way.

Some have their one and only.

Some have a choice few.

Some have many.

And some hold no sense of loyalty to any one and simply try to be with as many people as they can.

I'd say I fit in one of the first two, i'm not quite sure yet.

[Lollipop King]

Did I hit a nerve?

Of course...you know what power you have over me, you whore.
No matter how stupid you are, you, at the very least, have that. You and Kriswest.

Next tell me how you keep me around because I entertain you, how bad my writing is, or how you do not care what I think.

By the way, simpleton, stop derailing this thread. This is about monogamy.

Kris and myself have many similarities... must be the NA blood

I just don't understand your need for the profanities and ad homs towards others, because otherwise your posts would not warrant you for a ban - do you despise/disrespect others that much?

Why do you assume "others" are everybody else?

I already told you what my "ad homs" are about. Take it and leave.

[Calrid]

I already told you what my "ad homs" are about. Take it and leave.

Explain again to us morons in simple terms what your munificent ad homs are about? I am genuinely intrigued?

[Kriswest]

No, as a matter of fact I am reserved and look at females I don't know only if they initiate conversation--but this is due to social anxiety and apathy towards sexual/romantic relationships as a result of a particularly devastating end to a three year relationship. The apathy stems from my not wanting to feel like dying again, if at all avoidable. I think I learned entirely by my own experience that I would rather not feel like total shit.

Just remember that the women feel pretty much the same way as you. That is Why we date and not commit when we first lay eyes on each other. We need to do a dance of learning and trusting before sharing our souls. So don't sweat the dating part, you are not commiting you are testing. A three year relationship is not that long of a time. At least you found out early before decades were committed. You will be fine if you remember the lady feels threatened just as you do. No rushing ,no falling ass over teakettle in lust or love. Just a dance of learning. Keep that in mind when you see a possible future prospect.

[Trevor]

I believe I have enough love for a number of women, but not the malevolence to do it behind their backs. I couldn't share a woman with any other men though.

On a sidenote, the mere thought of a woman I loved cheating on me would cause me to implode with rage and jealousy. Hope it never happens.

Edit: Actually, I don't think I would want a number of women. It's foolish of me to even suppose a single woman lacks enough sustenance for me.

[lizbethrose]

Anyway, about monogamy. I read the first page and a half of responses here , and well...I don't have any specific responses. Can this question be definitively answered? At the end of the day, all I know is that monogamy doesn't suit me while it seems to suit others just fine. I've come to the conclusion that this isn't a question of natural/unnatural, broken/not broken, the simple fact is that some people are suited to monogamy and others aren't, and while I'm sure there is some technical explanation about brain chemistry that would break it all down, it still comes down to, "It is what it is". I'm beyond worrying about whether I'm a genetic dead-end and that's why I don't desire a family unit as strongly as some say I should, or whether anyone who thinks monogamy is our natural state is just a fool lying to themself. People are different, we prefer different things and situations, and this is all part-and-parcel.

Never, never be anything other than what you are. If monogamy isn't your choice, then it isn't your choice. Period. There is no choice other than what's 'natural' for you. I won't move any farther from my pedestal than you will from yours. That's life in all it's myriad forms.

I say this, yet I deplore the results of relative morality.

[Kriswest]

I believe I have enough love for a number of women, but not the malevolence to do it behind their backs. I couldn't share a woman with any other men though.

On a sidenote, the mere thought of a woman I loved cheating on me would cause me to implode with rage and jealousy. Hope it never happens.

Edit: Actually, I don't think I would want a number of women. It's foolish of me to even suppose a single woman lacks enough sustenance for me.

Trevor, ever notice in photos of Mormons and other groups that allow or require multiple wives , just how miserable the man looks? Think about that. And this is a woman giving you this tidbit

[Ierrellus]

Hi, Lady K.!!!
Near the beginning of this thread I stated that I was not moral enough for polygamy. Let me explain. From a biological perspective, morality enters minds long after deeds are done. I'd speculate that most people who have extra-marital affairs mate for reasons that have nothing to do with any morality other than that dictated by STDs.
Here was the situation. My brother was suicidal. My wife comforted him. Yes, she gave him sex. At first I thought the way I did back in the hippie daze. He needed that to bolster his self esteem. So what would that have to do with my own problems of jealousy or of possessiveness. Thinking thus, I found him in a bar and forgave him. But I'm a human, not a god. I could forgive but I couldn't forget. I left home.
For any of you who think there was free love in the 60s, there wasn't. Preferences for appearance still ruled most attractions that could lead to marriage. Group marriage in those days always seemed thwarted by jealousy.
Had I been moral enough back then, my outlook on my wife's affair would have been--forgive and forget because I needed to.
Polygamy does seem to be the biological preference; monogamy--the social necessity. But, with due disrespect for Dawkins, biology can and does extend into so much more than what genes want.

[Kriswest]

Hi my good friend!!!! How are you and Thai?

In any relationship the female tends to be more possesive over the male for a very good reason. She is nesting and he is a vital part of that nesting. If he goes anesting with another female that will threaten the first female's nest. males are not really one nest type of crittur they can deal with more than one nest for quite a while. Now you take 3 or more women put them in one nest for years it can get stressful for all. Each woman wants her own nest, each woman needs that male for her nest.......Come to think of it most of the women in those photos look down right hellish too. Heck its hard for mothers and daughters to live together let alone strangers or friends. It is done but it sure never looks very happy. Frankly i can't figure out how that many people can stand to live together, its hard enough with just two and kids. You know darn well nerves will be shot.

[Ierrellus]

Thanks, Lady K. Thai is getting fatter!
My ex-wife must have been a true hippie. Nesting for her was when she believed she couldn't go it alone. All of her husbands were default positions! I called her a butterfly, flitting from flower to flower. But she clung to her children from two marriages and saw the husbands or boyfriends as a somewhat stable place for them to visit her. Dammit, she was beautiful--looked like Natalie Wood. Monogamy for her meant being tied down. So many men; so little time!

[MagsJ]

Edit: Actually, I don't think I would want a number of women. It's foolish of me to even suppose a single woman lacks enough sustenance for me.

God man

[Trevor]

Edit: Actually, I don't think I would want a number of women. It's foolish of me to even suppose a single woman lacks enough sustenance for me.

God man

God man?

I like the sound of that. It has a certain megalomanic ring to it.

[MagsJ]

I meant 'good man' - damn these sticking letters but people do see monogamy/celibacy as heavenly qualities I guess - I see you as a good man for thinking like that, and please don't take that in a patronising way

Not many people are monogamous these days, and serial-monogamy doesn't count

[Philosopher8659]

I look at the whole thing this way.

The human mind learns by experience. This can be said in a puzzle, like the name of the Beast 666, "to regulate our behavior so as to turn the past into the future and to bring the future to pass." or simply as we say what we see.

The mind is evolving to regulate human behavior over time for the survival of man. A relationship is about raising children that respects certain ideals, and the ideal of what our job is as mind is one of the most important.

Secondly, every mind has the same definition, and thus the same function. The greatest thing, therefore that two people do together is time related, insuring the future through family, and in the pursuits of their life learning how to do their own work, as mind. Two working together give each other the gift of time through complementary activities.

This was once said in a metaphor, to become one, in body, mind, and soul. And, it is true, the health of any society can be measured in terms of its marital expressions. If one cannot add one and one to make a family, they cannot add a nation to become more than a heap of people.

A man, religiously and scientifically, is defined as one male and one female. It is both a physical fact and a psychological fact.

[Blurry]

I'm sorry, 8659, but either I didn't understand what you were trying to say, or I did and it still didn't make any sense to me. It sounds like a whole lot of social conditioning and religious expectation to me. That's not what I'm looking for.

[Abstract]

I know this has been discussed here before, but I find myself pondering it lately. Is monogamy "natural" to humans?

Speaking only of myself, I find it to be...difficult. I have very little interest in maintaining a monogamous relationship. That's not to say I'm incapable, I've certainly done it, but I quickly lose interest in the relationship and end up just continuing in it to satisfy the want/need of the other person to have me there. Of course I'd like to conclude that monogamy is difficult for everyone, but then I look around and see some people who seem so suited to it, and I have to wonder if this is a product of social conditioning, or if maybe some of us are just more suited to it than others, or perhaps there's something wrong with me, some psychological issue that makes it so undesirable.

So, I'm just looking for your thoughts on the matter, people.

Before that can be answered it would need to be understood what was meant by natural...wouldn't it? When we were primates we may not have been... in which case it evolved over time... all things occurring in nature are natural so in that sense it was natural... but was it our original state, and is it best... are perhaps better questions...maybe

If it is a man made concept... then it can be said to be as natural as a tank...

[Blurry]

I know this has been discussed here before, but I find myself pondering it lately. Is monogamy "natural" to humans?

Speaking only of myself, I find it to be...difficult. I have very little interest in maintaining a monogamous relationship. That's not to say I'm incapable, I've certainly done it, but I quickly lose interest in the relationship and end up just continuing in it to satisfy the want/need of the other person to have me there. Of course I'd like to conclude that monogamy is difficult for everyone, but then I look around and see some people who seem so suited to it, and I have to wonder if this is a product of social conditioning, or if maybe some of us are just more suited to it than others, or perhaps there's something wrong with me, some psychological issue that makes it so undesirable.

So, I'm just looking for your thoughts on the matter, people.

Before that can be answered it would need to be understood what was meant by natural...wouldn't it? When we were primates we may not have been... in which case it evolved over time... all things occurring in nature are natural so in that sense it was natural... but was it our original state, and is it best... are perhaps better questions...maybe

If it is a man made concept... then it can be said to be as natural as a tank...

See, this is the kind of stuff I'm not looking for. I'm not a philosopher, but I do know that philosophy is not an arguing of semantics. The context of the OP tells you what I'm driving at.

[Abstract]

I know this has been discussed here before, but I find myself pondering it lately. Is monogamy "natural" to humans?

Speaking only of myself, I find it to be...difficult. I have very little interest in maintaining a monogamous relationship. That's not to say I'm incapable, I've certainly done it, but I quickly lose interest in the relationship and end up just continuing in it to satisfy the want/need of the other person to have me there. Of course I'd like to conclude that monogamy is difficult for everyone, but then I look around and see some people who seem so suited to it, and I have to wonder if this is a product of social conditioning, or if maybe some of us are just more suited to it than others, or perhaps there's something wrong with me, some psychological issue that makes it so undesirable.

So, I'm just looking for your thoughts on the matter, people.

Before that can be answered it would need to be understood what was meant by natural...wouldn't it? When we were primates we may not have been... in which case it evolved over time... all things occurring in nature are natural so in that sense it was natural... but was it our original state, and is it best... are perhaps better questions...maybe

If it is a man made concept... then it can be said to be as natural as a tank...

See, this is the kind of stuff I'm not looking for. I'm not a philosopher, but I do know that philosophy is not an arguing of semantics. The context of the OP tells you what I'm driving at.

makes me think of how some people think that all philosophy is is arguing over semantics...

What I said should have implied that I am not sure but leaning to the idea that monogamy is socially conditioned, and thus in other words a man made activity for the most part. And as such it is basically unnatural. but then it was made in order to adapt to conditions that may have arisen primarily due to the limitations of our environment... It may be that it is best... or at least can be given particular situations.. rarely is a thing best in all situations... So I would think there is no sense in it being necessary to be monogamous further it should neither be illegal to be alternatively married and such...

[Trajicomic]

God man?

I like the sound of that. It has a certain megalomanic ring to it.

Magsj is beginning to understand, YES, God man!