I want to touch on a tender subject, and I ask you to be patient with me.
Considering the sexuality of human beings, in nature there is a distinct difference to be seen between man and woman (not to mention other variations) which are complementary to one another.
I see man to be the external, whereas woman is the internal. Man is guided by sight, woman by experience. Man is responsible for the producing side, woman the nurturing side. The man hunts and gathers, the woman cooks and prepares. The man roots out enemies and dangers, the woman defends with her life. The man investigates and discovers, the woman collects and heals. The man is brave, the woman is long-suffering.
This is why a man and a woman, to be faithful to each other, have to make a compromise. The man must become more internal, the woman a little more external. Man has to curb his hunting for mates, woman has to remain attractive in order to assist him therewith. Man has to take over the development of sons, once the nurturing has ended, women take over the development of daughters. Devotion is a kind of surrender of our drives to cultivate a social bond.
Of course in our techno-culture, this kind of stereotype is being rejected by some young people. They say it is unnatural. However, I feel that it is rejected for the wrong reasons. We seem to forget how “unnatural” culture is, if we want to use nature as the measure of all things. The differences between the sexes tend to separate nowadays, instead of being seen as complementary. People define themselves more by what they are not, than by what they are, and they define themselves more by what they have become than what they intrinsically are.
I think that homosexuality is part of this identification process, that an identity is very early ingrained into children as a reaction to the sexual roles they witness. We identify with mother or father, or an ideal that is presented to us, and if the identification is strong enough, we even wish for the body of the parent or ideal we mostly identify with. That is why all children go through a time of disorientation and insecurity, and choose their future partners based on their experience. Of course, this process is often painful.
I don’t believe that women ever wanted sexual relations for babies, but that was the inevitable consequence for the longest time, and women usually rose to the challenge. I believe that women want fulfilment and security, and that sex is another form of nurture, which (at best) is given to the man best suited to the woman. Unfortunately, it has also been taken by force for a long time, by uncultured men who were just satisfying their needs, and women have had no say in the matter.
Of course, sexuality is an ongoing game, which never stops. It is played voluntarily, but also involuntarily. The advances of men and women are sometimes acknowledged, sometimes dampened and sometimes rejected, and the reactions can be as inappropriate as they can be appropriate. There is no saying how the game will go, but it is as individual as the couples playing. That is probably one of the reasons why it is so fascinating.
What do you think?