Basically, I am like this.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wefF_UglT-Y[/youtube]
Basically, I have GPD, or Genius Personality Disorder. If you noticed by now, I have a habit of posting, a lot. This makes me feel like a robot, and the idea that I am a robot, just unable to escape its own consciousness, turns me on.
I was banned from the Genius Forums for this reason. I post every single thought that I deem important, including henids and incomplete theories, including jokes posts, etc. Due to my excessive thought without pause, I start to eventually burn out, and become lethargic, but I still try to churn out thoughts slowly, desperated clawing and churning to do so. The idea is that through excessive quantity, through trial and error refinement is reached.
Much of my theories may initially be of low quality, but through constant reforumlation and cycles of consciousness, clarity is reached, truth is found, theories are improved. For example, in many of my personal reactions, I give out hypothesises why I predict to be untrue, just to see their reaction to and how it transforms and fizzles in relation to outside reality. They say half of genius is a threesome, and I couldnt believe it is more true. People don’t appreciate their blessings, they always hound on groupthink, but they never realize the inability of their own minds to formulate things, they don’t realize their darker limitations. In a group, even peasants can be useful to assist in formulating coherent thought. Now this is a live setting with live interactions, which has much better data clarity than lossy online word interactions. Pyschic vibes are caught, whereas online tends to lean towards word salad syndrome.
I have an inability to focus…I sometimes have a habit of being confused at simple things, because they are not constructed in the same manner as my own intellect. I over think things, inject my own complex meanings into things which have a much simpler meaning, which I am blind to because I am way past that. Therefore, I sometimes feel intimidated by simple ideas presented in a complex manner, because I make them seem as complex as my own mind, when in reality they are simpler than my own mind. In addition to the lethargy, I also have emotional weaknesses, so if my emotions are triggered I cannot think clearly. Other days, I could read convoluted posts like jerkey’s in the blink of an eye, but in order to do that Id need rejuvination, some kind of mental clarity such as a outdoor excersize and a good friend, something which I don’t have. This is also due to my impatience for sentient creatures, they seem too slow paced to keep up with me and rarely on the same train of thought, they make me feel ancy around me.
The types of thoughts I think are numerous, mostly “why am I here”. Though back in the day I used to be a programmer and I used to focus more on the mathematical. I never really mastered mathematics or advanced much higher than calculus and as a side note I don’t think mathematics is the key to understanding much of anything despite what Phonetic may think. Mathematics, as I said before, is nothing more than a compression technique, so I doubt it has much profound capability. Most of what I think are of words, and thus my topic, “wordsexual”, however many times I will just sit and imagine movie like scenarios in my head, becoming different characters (I have dissociative identity symptoms, always did since I was born, therefore I do not list it as a “disorder” since it is a good thing for me.) Like, back when I used to program, the first few days I would have brillance and clarity of thought, and as the project deepend, I would become glued to the keyboard, drooling, desperately inputting values and thinking of solutions to coding problems, all the while my mind slipping and slipping ever deeper into lethargy. It would become harder and harder to think clearly, a struggle, but I would press on, because damn it, work had to be done. I loved nothing more than to see a finished art, poetry (science) in motion, my work, I was the creator, these were my birthchildren, my maths turned into living beings, aesthetic gems, and by golly it had to be done, for the cosmic timeline. Much of my posts are centered around this, the cosmic timeline, even the henids, for I fear that if my posts are not released the timeline will be altered, and civilisation will be ruined, forever. Amen.
Like, basically the idea is you put me in a room with an enemy, and I will annoy them into submission. Like, one time I got kicked out of a mental hospital, because I would annoy all of the other patients to death. I was smarter than all of the group therapy session therapists there and so I would hijack all of the discussions and examine their philosophies, often turning it upside down. Other times I would simply troll and make jokes unrelated to the discussions. I would find holes and fallacies, and often it would drive the leaders there crazy, especially because they were just women there, who wanted to run the discussion themselves. I was kicked out, not of my own volition, and it wasn’t fair.