Hey Celine, another question for you:
You say that love between a man and a woman is about polar opposites coming together, complementary parts forming a whole. Each person in the relationship therefore completes the other.
Not everyone is a good match for each other, obviously, so this complementarity must be about matching specific people together, people who belong together. Do you believe in soul mates? In two people being meant for each other, a perfect fit?
Many people say that love is hard work, that it requires swallowing pride and much sacrifice. James says it should be easy, that if two people are in love, the harmony between them should come naturally.
Maybe two people coming together is like two puzzle pieces that fit each other perfectly. Each person is different so they are going to need someone with very particular personality traits, temperaments, tastes, etc., people with just the right protrusions and grooves, like this:
But when two people are not quite right for each other, then it requires sacrifice. For example, one of the puzzle pieces may have to sacrifice a protrusion:
But then you are no longer yourself. You had to throw a part of yourself away. So you do end up forming a completion, but its a completion composed of your partner and a “you” who isn’t really you.
Now this may work sometimes as most relationships that last require only small sacrifices (and the chances of find the perfect match in this world 7 billion strong is dismal, so there will always be some sacrifices), but when the sacrifices become too big, you’re not forming the right completion. You’re forming a completion of two people, at least one of which is no longer him/herself. And how can you really be happy in that situation? The completion we seek is that which completes us, not some distorted version of us that meets someone else’s need for completion.
I think this more or less agrees with James’s take on the subject. Love should be easy, it should come natural, given that you are able to meet your perfect match. But this is only an ideal. In practical reality, no match between two people is ever going to be perfect, so there will always be some work. But it does suggest that the better the match, the easier love is, and I think this is more or less the same as what James was saying.
Would you agree with this?