Smears and Blurry Getting Married! :-) :-) :-)

I always secretly hoped Smears would get up the courage and ask Blurry to get married, and they could move to Minnesota, on a lake by a creek, and build a cabin together in the spring, and vow to live the rest of their lives together, in love, holy matrimony.

Everyday, Smears could lumberjack firewood, with his muscular frame as blurry hand washed the laundry watching him, and Smears could take their child, Smuggy, out to the creek to fish, wading out to the slow moving rapids, catching trout.

In the cold of winter, they could snuggle together, looking at the frigid sun set slowly on the horizon, red light shinning through the trees, dancing across the hand made quilt… two hands, young, and then quite elderly in a instant, a lifetime spent in a expression of their undying support and ever continuing love.

‘I love you’ Old Smears would say to Old Blurry, “I love you too Smears, we’ve had 50 years of excellent, passionate sex together here in the Minnesota Wilderness”. They would then awkwardly tongue one another, never quite getting it in the others mouth, while both fart oh so sweet, sulfer laiden farts from the medicine they take, to extend their love another 50 years.

With future medicine, such a love could go on for centuries.

So… whats stopping the two of you. Get down and dirty, and make some hot monkey love. A little Barry White background music. Smears in his Sponge Bob Square Pants underwear before the bed. Blurry, with her face pixel blurred like on cops, lying in bed, come hither…

I’ll get they two of you a two man saw as a wedding present. Do it for Smuggy.

For fun, you can invite friends over, like Magsj and Phyllo over for quilting parties, and Magsj can tell you about her journeys through the Pennslyvania Dutch Country, and 19th century poltergeist spiritual stories they told her, about seeing the spirits of the dead, walking through the woods, unable to pass over water, unable to articulate yet always moaning, reaching foreward to the living… only the females of the german lineages could see them as adults, but all the children can.

This would scare Smears, causing him to move closer to Blurry for emotional support. Phyllo would stoke the fire, emblems rising, and within short time fading… the room turning cold… Blurry, Smears beloved wife asking him to go out, into the winter crisp, full moon lit night to get more firewood… and Smears reluctantly agreeing. Going out to the woodstock by the stream… he would see shadows on the otherside of the woods… Smears pausing… scared… the cold sweat forming on the back of his neck freezing in the chilled air. Closer he walks to the woodpile, grabs a few more logs… a while robe, fluttering between two trees… skeletal arm outstretched… mooooaaaaaaannnnnnn!!!

Smears crying out in fear, seeing the banshee across the creek “Blurrrrrieeeeeeeee honeiiiiiiii” and turning to run… and confronted, mere feet infront of him, between the Cabin and him… the same woman… arm inches from him, moaning loadly, eyes wild in a flutter, Smears screaming wildly certain the end is near…

Blurry runs out the cabin, and says "Oh Mom, you finally arrived? Did you find the parking spot on the other side the creek like I told you over the phone earlier? Come on in, you must be cold, Phyllo just made some hot cocoa. Phyllo stands at the door, leaning against the door in his turtle neck.

Another Minnesota Night passed, in matrimony, for Smears and Blurry.

Anyone remember when thirst4metal did this kind of stuff?

[tab]…but in good humor and not resentfully?[/tab]

I have no idea where any of this is coming from.

Contra…where is all this coming from?

You can go and do all that stuff you’re talking about. I’ll stay here at home.

Well that was interesting.

Leave to go do my normal weekend thing, you know the whole “have a life” part, and I come back to this.

Did I just stumble into an alternate universe?

The alternative universe where starstruck, conjugal souls merge in pools of dripping, passionate love… with a half eaten Bologne Sandwhich sitting on the edge of said dripping pool to be eaten afterwards to energize the spirit… of love, when you two get hungry.

What are Phyllo and I doing in this little scenario though? although… it would be nice to meet Blurry and Mr R in person

Its self evident what you were doing, you were quilting, and discussing your vacation in the Pennsylvania Dutch Country. Phyllo was quilting too, and tended a fire while wearing a turtleneck shirt.

Just dont fight the soap opera, in a forum full of lies, this thread is the intellectual inversion that has the best chance of shinning on the truth. Its a Opera as much as a Satire, starring out most lovable pot head and crack dealer, in his adventures in and outside of love.

Its a shame no one has said this yet…

Congratulations!!!

My question is, why have I been pulled into this?

CN, I know you and Smears have had your back-and-forths, but other than one or two random little comments, I always thought I pretty much flew beneath your radar.

I mean, I’m flattered to find that’s not the case, but seriously. Where is this all coming from?

I don’t sell crack.

I think CN is into you. This is the only way he knows how to get your attention…

I have to admit, of all the times I’ve been misunderstood, this one really stands out.

Contra, are you sure you haven’t gotten into a bit of crack yourself?

I think this thread should be moved to Creative Writing.

I for one, i don,t think You guys should get married, not as of yet. First off, how long have Smears aka reasonable and blurry known each other? After all, this forum has very few occurring actual face to face meetings among members, and i would be very hard put, to encourage marriage under such circumstances.

The other concerns which may come up may devolve into an unforeseen level, such as can be found procurements of marriageables by mail order, or some such thing. How will smears and blurry work out of such a constrained sense of identifying obstacles so common among newlyweds?

It is not enough to try to guess the other’s character and physical characteristics by mere penmanship alone, regardless of whether they have a general picture, based on some few possible submitted photographs?

At the very least, a compatibility index could be drawn up based on certain established criteria, as can be found in legitimate dating sites, such as ‘Christian Singles’ and ‘farmers singles’ ?

Marriage and children are very serious concerns, and really, there is no need to hurry into it. I’d exercise more patience.

No, I am boycotting creative writing, this site is banned from the poetic and literary side of me. You want it, move to west virginia and join our state poetry circle.

This is 100% off topic. Keep it such.

I went to a ski resort in west virginia once. Stayed at some surgeon’s house who was out of town. You could see several lesser ski resorts from his amazing view atop the mountain. There were only a couple of huge houses up there. When I got to the guard shack at the gate to go in I said, "how do I get to this house?), he said, "most people take a helicopter, but you can drive up this way just be really careful. It felt like some death defying shit.

The entire rest of the state looked like the 3rd world.

You know of a place called grundy in VA? It’s right on the border of west virginia in the triangle part of the west side of the state. Terrible place.

Ill work that into the story, between how you got the wedding ring, by overcoming Pezer at the Aztec Temple, and the swordfight against Moreno to defend Blurry’s honour and saving the Orphans in Victoria, South Africa.

All in time, this shall go on for years.

Your creativity is turning me on. Do you think you could write yourself into the story, as a handsome, rugged woodsman I have a brief fling with during a rough patch in the marriage? Think about it - it creates drama and tension, loads to work with, and at the end you can have the warm and fuzzy reconciliation between Smears and myself. Bitches love a tearjerker.