An Enquiring Mind Wants to Know

Am I or am I not - a stalker?!

I would like to take a poll here.

Who in here considers me to be a stalker? I would really like your imput.

I believe that I have a right to write this, to voice this, since this verbal attack was in this open forum, without any regard for privacy. I was accused by Jr Wells of being a stalker. Wells did not even have the decency to address this in PM. I wonder about that. Oh, I know, there can really be only one explanation for that, right? Think again. There could be more than one.

I was going to let this alone. I had even discontinued responding to any of Wells’s post for the most part and I told him beforehand that this was what I was going to do – and that he was not to respond to mine. I told him the above since he had somehow seemed to be fearful and delusional in this thinking though in actuality I have my doubts as to whether or not it had to do with him “believing” that I was stalking him. I had more or less left it alone and had dropped the whole subject until Arminius got on Wells’ bandwagon and told me to STOP STALKING, called me a LIAR, and said that I was not a consciousness seeker referring to the designation under my username. The third didn’t really bother me so much. He showed his so-called evidence, his proof, of my stalking, which was or were, instances of my perusing some of Wells’ posts in an attempt to ascertain if he could possibly be my Australian friend. This wasn’t about Wells as much as it was about my friend. It seems that you ARMINIUS did some exploring on your own, didn’t you? See – I didn’t call you a stalker of me.

I had thought at first that Wells was someone who I had known here from the past who was from Australia. So I asked him that and I did pursue the question, exploring some of his posts a bit to glean or to get a feel if he could indeed have been my Australian friend… At some point I came to realize that he could not possibly be who I thought he was, for reasons which I gave out there. Is it possible that I pursued this line of thinking a bit longer, in hindsight, than I could have? Sure, maybe, and then again, maybe not. Not every man in here and I daresay, most of the men in here would not have called me a stalker because of that.

This is the thing. I do not want this to go on any further. Wells called me a stalker ~~ asked me to stop stalking him ~~ and though I have my own opinion about this man and his intentions and though I feel a little hardput not to share it here, I won’t. I will keep my subjective perspective to myself. I wouldn’t even bother to mention someone’s suggestion to me of perhaps Wells’ true intentions in calling me a stalker. I told him that that was absurd.

Let’s face it, the way belief works, someone hears something, has an impression of it, a first impression, which most often is NOT based in “reality” and one which unfortunately many are not able to consider the truth of. Why ~~ because they do not want to believe otherwise if it serves their purpose. They do not have the capacity to wonder or think that perhaps my intention was not stalking and that I was, in fact, NOT STALKING. As was the case with Arminius – who jumped right on Wells’ bandwagon and not to be redundant but I will be for the sake of emphasis here ~~ proceeded to tell me to stop stalking, called me a liar and said that I was not a consciousness seeker. Beliefs are like viruses which can so easily spread to others. Arminius obviously, figuratively speaking, was standing too close to Wells and he was touched by the impression of that belief and that virus just entered into his brain. He barely had time to even question himself.

All of this ALSO begs the question for me: “Where was a moderator at that time when my character, my personhood was being attacked ~~ as I also questioned Magjs when she PMed me. Again, this is a public forum.

What I also fail to understand is how someone can seem to know language so well, understand the importance of using the right words to determine meaning, understand distinctions in words and meanings – as Wells does ~~ and yet, what he called me was a stalker. I wonder if somewhere within his mind he might not have found another word, term to use, for what I was actually doing instead of allowing his emotions to take over.

I do not appreciate being called a stalker as I am not one. I do not appreciate having my character maligned and attacked in a public forum, as Jr Wells did – asking me if I was stalking him and to stop stalking him.

And I have this to say. Barring this poll in which I am asking for those who choose to tell me what they think – am I a stalker or not – and I want to be told honestly and I will deal with it in my way ~~~~~~~~~~ anyone else who calls me a stalker outside of this thread to gain an advantage, to hit below the belt so to speak, or FOR WHATEVER REASON, because this virus has already been put out here – when I see that word directed at me, I shall put it in the largest font that there is, and in the boldest red that there is, and I shall not respond to it. And I will refer it to a moderator and hopefully to that moderator it will make some difference.

I really do not want to go down the rabbit hole so to speak but there is only so much wear and tear that a person can allow, ought to allow and people have experienced this wear and tear within this forum and have gone down that rabbit’s hole after coming to their senses.

Thank you.

No you are not, ~ there was i time i wish you were lol, …which means to me i >know< you are not a stalker.

The polite thing to do would have been to pm you you with his concerns. The whole things smacks of infantile ignorance and ego.

Hmm though it is easy to follow others without realising the emptiness of the pursuits basis. Its just a bit much to do it in public unless they are sure of their facts. You must remember that they don’t know the background information, and so the reason why you were making your inquiry.

Perhaps a public forgiveness all around is called for here? god did I just sound like a Christian lol, still some things are wisdom irrespective of their source.

Amorphos

lol Just to play devil’s advocate here and go out on a limb, a true stalker might stalk some guy or woman but not necessarily that one or all of them.
BUT no I AM NOT A STALKER. Thanks Amorphos.

And I really am looking for insight here.

Yes, and that would have taken care of it. I won’t get into the second part of that. But of course, supposedly, this man does not know me so it would have been better had he asked me to explain myself in PM which I actually did at some point in the forum explain myself. Maybe i can find it. The not knowing situation does make things different but he might have handled it quite different and as I said this is an open forum and being called a stalker is more than a bit uncomfortable and highly imappropriate to say the least and slanderous.

Even having been sure of their facts, it would have even been better to bring it to a moderator or to Carleas. To malign someone like that in public - well, there are words I can use in here but as i said, I feel hardput to, so I wont. But I can say that at least for now, I detest the guy. I’ll get over it though even though I’m no christian. I won’t pretend that everything is okay - what he did and what Arminius in turn did.

Im not actually looking for an apology or to forgive him at least not at this point.I’m not so sure that he would anyway but I don’t want him to.

Yep. Total stalker.

Can you elaborate on that, mr. reasonable. How do you see me as being a stalker? I can’t really know if you’re serious or not here. Let it rip.

I saw the original thread and it looked like a misunderstanding that was blown out of proportion. I don’t think you are a stalker at all.

AND ALSO, whoever said you aren’t a consciousness seeker is silly*(10)^50.

Nah stalking is more extreme than exploring some posts and trying to see if you know/recognize someone that is on a different account. Curiosity isn’t really stalking. Stalking is creepier, stalking is when someone tells you not to watch them and you watch everything they do, find their Facebook or emails, other accounts, etc. Stalking is obsession, curiosity is wonder.

Thanks fuse. I’d put a kiss-on-the-cheek smilie in here but it might just re-enforce someone’s - meaning anyone’s - notion of my being a stalker.

But I really would like to understand how things did get blown so out of proportion. If this had been you, coming in here for the first time after a while, if I thought perhaps that you were my Australian friend, if the same dynamics were at work, would you have thought perhaps that I was a stalker and stalking you, as Wells did? Think about it before you answer.

And thank you for the other. I do try to be a consciousness seeker. We can’t be all of the time but I do try to flow through that, be aware of it.

Your posts to JR W were off-topic (as they often are when you start questioning others on personal matters, and of which I often warn you about) so perhaps it is you who should have messaged him with your initial inquiry and not derailed the thread.

Thank you Artimas and you just hit the nail on the head. That is just my point. And that is why his use of that word was so far off base and irresponsible, whether unintentional or not…especially in an open forum. I don’t really begin to know his mind but to use his freedom of speech in such a way, without awareness, was anathema to me. And then Arminius without any conscious awareness, did the same.

Excuse me!!!
As I often start questioning others on personal matters? Magsj, do you even read some of the posts in here and how people question one another regarding personal matters?
And unless I am a really forgetful person, I don’t see myself as doing that often. You might want to copy and paste some examples to me though I realize you don’t have the time for that but I would say to show me the evidence before you make such a statement.
If I do in fact see myself in a certain way I will admit to it. As I had said I think above, I did try to reassure Wells that i was not stalking him, tried to help him understand the kind of person that I was so he wouldn’t be fearful thinking that I was. But strangely enough, for some reason, he wasn’t having it. His mind was already made up.

This is a philosophy forum but it is also a forum where people get together and are friendly and usually some thread will be derailed for a bit. It can’t be helped we are human.

Aside from that, many threads are derailed. And if you take the time to notice, Wells also derailed a thread in here somewhere by asking me what I was doing in Bela Stena - to which I replied that that was private and personal. Do you even begin to see the insidiousness, the innuendo that goes on in here, the ad homs, and biases - Wells included.

I was curious about his being my friend from Australia but not that curious that I had to PM him and trust me when I say that - not interested enough either to PM him, except for how he might be my friend which as I said, at some point I thought better of.

Biases are human but they do need to be looked at. But please do not talk to me in such a way as to suggest that I am the only one in here ~~ though you didn’t say that ~~who derails threads and get’s friendly within a thread. If that were the case, I would admit it in a heartbeat but it is not.

So, are you telling me here that the above is the reason that you ignored that man’s calling me a stalker? I know that you can’t possibly be inferring that. He called me a stalker. That has implications for me and I do detest him for that, for his nonhonorable way of handling what he supposedly and by appearance thought. Take the time to read some of his posts, Magsj, read between the lines and you may glean a thing or two.

Eh. People have tried to string up strong arguments using personal matters that I revealed. Even though they we’re wrong about what they were saying. That’s called ad hom. Ad hom is blatant proof the argument is weak and the person behind the argument is weak willed, to have to bring personal matters or direct an argument at a person rather than the topic. When I first got here people would use ad hom to try and win arguments. Except philosophy isn’t about winning or losing. Even a wise man can and will lose every now and then.

That is my thoughts on the matter so I will leave it there, but I do think that JR W meant stalking him on the boards and not in the more sinister sense of the word - best to be aware of others’ boundaries, and to interact within that arena… I do.

I would have been confused, and I can see how someone could be weirded out for a moment, but in the end I would probably conclude that the other person was the one confused about me and it’d be something I’d just shrug off. I can’t say why exactly it turned out to be such a big deal in this case, I can only speculate. Sometimes people become very defensive when they feel exposed, and the increased drama ends up bringing them even more attention. When it gets to that point, I just go a different way and make sure I’m not feeding silly drama.

I didn’t even read the OP because I’ve actually read the original thread and subsequent threads. I think you’re blowing it out of proportion Arcturus, he thinks he knows you as another poster (the australian) and you claim that he doesn’t, and then eventually he claimed that it wasn’t you, and then you kept stalking HIM.

Arcturus Descending

You are right about stalkers lol

Remember this is an internet forum, you get trolls and the like, people don’t conduct themselves how they would if you were sat across a table from them at a coffee shop.

Ok sometimes forgiveness is futile or unresolving, but I wouldn’t want you to be upset for too long, because that isn’t a pleasant state for you to be in. secondly this is mathematically 0.001% of what has happened at ILP, and I wouldn’t like it to mar your experience to the point of not coming here anymore.

WE all know you, your integrity is fine with us, and I don’t think any of us would think otherwise just because a few noobs don’t understand polite etiquette.

Arcturus,
I don’t understand why you make such a fuss about that.
What do you expect? Most men here are nice to you, because you are a woman and they probably take you as the mysterious beauty you like to show on your avatars. Some are impressed by that, some are not. And it’s obvious that you are also impressed by the avatars of nice young men, you follow them all over the place here. I wouldn’t call it stalking unless they perceive it like that, but as I said, it’s obvious to others. If you didn’t point out at any given opportunity that you are a woman, people here would treat you much worse, believe me.
I read that thread as well and you did insult Arminius. You brought yourself into that situation and now you gather all the men around you, so that they pull you out of it. That’s a childish behavior to me… or just calculating.

[size=120]Arcturus Descending, you are bathing in your victimism - congratulations, girl - and telling lies, because I did not say i.e. that you were not a consciousness seeker - the reverse is true. I have all posts as copies, because I often have to permutate some words or whole sentences and to translate into my first language. And the first fact was that you Insulted me, although inefficiently, but - of course - you did not know that it was an inefficient insult.[/size]

[size=120]Mags, you would have done better, if you had not deleted the posts. Is it okay, if I quote some of them?[/size]

This is going to be rather controversial, but we know for a fact that men have higher spatial IQ’s than women do, just like we know men are on average taller than women are, this is a proven fact. Spatial IQ is the reality orientation and problem solving part of the brain. So this really isn’t a fair debate.

Arminius

None of that made any sense and I don’t know why you would talk to a lady like that. It sounds like she deleted what she wrote because perhaps she felt it was provocative? I am bias because she’s a friend, yet you are a good poster too.

Why was there a need for your emotional outburst if you don’t want to be part of it? Why the need to act in such a way regardless of the content of the argument.