[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hQojtF1ZAA[/youtube]
I saw gwar once. Ridiculous show. I also saw the Grateful Dead about 6 months before Jerry Garcia died.
I went to the summer sanitarium tour with metallica, kid rock, korn, system of a down and powerman 5000…back when kid rock still had the midget. Only twice have metallica ever cancelled a show, and this was one of them…sort of. The singer had hurt his back earlier in the day while jet skiing and couldn’t get on stage, so rather than deal with a potential riot, they got various members of all the other bands to fill in and to team up in odd combinations and just played like a 4 hour set of all kinds of shit. Dude from system of a down did master of puppets with the rest of metallica, the guitarist from metallica did low rider with some members of korn, the midget from kid rock did for whom the bell tolls. They got a guy from the audience to try and do a song as a singer and he fucked it up and they literally threw him off the stage. I was pretty disappointed as I’d played the guitar for years, grew up on metallica and could play almost every song they did all the way up until the black album. Ended up getting kicked off the marta in atlanta that night, then kicked out of a cab on the side of a highway, then bribed a waffle house manager to abandon his crew and give me and some friends a ride to try and find our car. We’d passed out on the marta and were miles away from the place we’d parked. Didn’t find it until the next day covered up in tickets. My friend worked for la quinta hotels and we’d booked 2 rooms for 3 days with his discount, and the 1 guy who’d left early and had gotten back to the hotel had pissed off the manager somehow and had watched tons of pay per view porn and when we finally stumbled in the manager got in my face and tried to make me pay for a bunch of porn. My friend said he didn’t know anything about it so I defended him to the manager and told him to fuck off and that this was no way to treat guests and that billing should be resolved on checkout. Then he kept being an ass and we raided the continental breakfast. Went back to the room we were in and someone ended up taking a shit between the mattresses, breaking the mirror in the bathroom, the lamp, and smearing food and shit all over everything before we checked out. I don’t know who’s credit card that shit was on but I"m pretty sure they were fucked and my friend lost his job at the la quinta in birmingham.
Hell man, just a few weeks ago I was nominated for this award from a local group, and it was at this fancy place on the top floor of this nice banking building, so I knew I was gonna get wasted because the bar was free. Then, that very morning, I found out from a team of attorneys that I was no longer facing almost the rest of my life in prison and that I wasn’t going to have to go to jail at all after being out on bond the last 2.5 years. So I ended up feeling a need to celebrate. So I used travel miles to book a fat room at this nice hotel downtown and started drinking manhattans and waiting for my friend to meet me to go to this event. I got there and drank like 5 or 6 beers in about 2 hours after the 2 manhattans. Then stumbled out of there wasted but not after saying a bunch of crazy shit to these 2 chicks who run the membership office of this fancy private club in the banking tower. Then the people from the event moved on to a fancy place down the street for an after party, and I had some russian and some jordanian friends of mine meet me there and I was so happy about not going to prison that I ended up drinking 2 or 3 manhattans and ordering like 5 bottles of champagne for all these people. but 2 of them I kept and was just double fisting these 2 bottles of champagne. Then I got one of the russians and this nurse I know from the local hospital to come back to the room and I opened a bottle of maker’s 46 and some vermouth and bitters and I don’t remember shit after that. I woke up around noon with the sun blaring in my eyes through the balcony window. I had 1 sock on. There were clothes in there that weren’t mine. Everyone had left. There were half empty bottles of liquor scattered around and a bunch of fruit like apples and oranges and bananas just thrown at the walls and stomped into the carpet and smeared all over the place. I legitimately didn’t know where the fuck my car was and I went into a panic and grabbed all my shit to get out of there and when I got downstairs the valet dudes were like,. “HEY, HEY! HERE HE IS!” and they all stared laughing at me and brought me my car.
I did not win the award, but I’m pretty sure I had the most fun. I ended up getting sent an offer from that fancy private club where they offered to reduce all the fees so low, and comp me enough shit to make it a net gain for me and so when I came out of court the following monday I just swiped a card and now I can eat fine food and all that shit and take bitches to the top of a fancy building for wine tastings and what not and in the end I’m pretty sure it’s not gonna cost me anything. Stopped in for some lunch the other day had a great time. It’s like the spot where local and state politicians have fundraiser dinners and shit and my ass is probably the only person in the whole place who can tell stories of all the hotel rooms I’ve trashed and all the crazy shit I’ve done. It’s like dentists and lawyers and other assorted assholes who have the worldliness of a slice of toast. Now here I come about to shoot the corks off champagne bottles because I beat down some shit in the district court. Only member in history with a tattoo on his head.
You gotta go to a Gwar live show on Halloween though. Was never really into Grateful Dead myself.
Do you even mosh? 
You hang out with lawyers? Could you find anymore duplicitous company other than lawyers?!
(Carleas will read this post and crucify me.)
I’ve spent halloween in Mexico a few times, and a few times in New Orleans, and once in Key West.
I’ve always wondered if you’re a C.I.A. or F.B.I. internet monitor/snoop/investigator, are you?
I’m retired from moshing because I’m 38 and a half years old. I can’t do shit like that anymore. And yeah man, I hang out with some lawyers, some finance types, some professors, a dentist or two, guys in motorcycle gangs, drug dealers, goodie goodie types who think that a wine tasting is a risque thing to do, you name it. I don’t discriminate.
I do not, have not, and never will be a party to any activity related to law enforcement. I’m fundamentally and philosophically against it as a personal venture. Did you not read the part about how I spent the last 2.5 years on bond awaiting a trial on a case over which they wanted to imprison me for what could have been the rest of my natural life?
I’m just going to take a guess that the upper class strata are full of smug insufferable assholes.
I can’t imagine myself enjoying the company of such people.
I did briefly meet a handful of guys who worked for the state bureau of investigation about 2 and a half years ago. Worst day ever.
Vaguely, what was that all about again?
They’re just like everyone else, they just iron their pants and own a lot of ties and get off work at 5. Some of them are assholes and some aren’t, some of them are crazy and some aren’t. There are perverts, goodie goodies, entitled ones, one’s who earned it. Pretty much the same cross section of personalities that you’d see anywhere just all generally well dressed and eating more expensive food.
That looks down on everybody else of course…but yeah…
4 kind gentlemen in suits and 1 asshole just stopped me one day when I was coming out of a restaurant and asked me if I was who I was and I said, “who’s asking?”. They identified themselves and then one of them jumped in my car and drove off with it. I said, “I apologize and without any intention of obstructing you in any way, must invoke all rights and will not be able to communicate with you further outside the presence of an attorney”. I asked if I was being detained and they said yes, then stuffed me into an SUV and they took me to a non descript building where most of the offices were vacant and handcuffed me and a friend of mine to these tables in separate rooms in the basement where they proceeded to do the whole bully bully thing and keep asking us questions for about 12 hours. I just kept giving my line about invoking my rights and being unable to discuss this matter outside the presence of an attorney, then they ended up throwing me into a jail downtown and charging me in such a way that the result was that I would fight off a potential sentence of up to 99 years. So I bonded out, got a taxi, did some running around and woke some people up since they’d taken my phone and computer and all kinds of shit from my house, then spoke with attorneys the next morning. 2 and a half years later, the case is over and I’m not going to prison. It’s complicated…like for real.