Are you an action movie fan generally? If not, its understandable that you didn’t enjoy it. If you are, then I’m shocked!
I like a good action film but is just so happens that most action films suck. Same thing goes for comedies. Some genders are harder to pull off, I think.
Yeah, my hairy legs look terrible in a skirt.
Sorry.
Which ones do you like?
Taken comes to mind.
But I hated mission impossible ghost protocol for instance, a film that everyone is raving about.
Deserved. 
Mission Impossible was pretty bad.
I recommend a Brazilian ‘action’ film I watched recently called Man of the Year.
Yeah, or Elite Squad (Tropa de Elite) 1 & 2. They’re superb.
I am taking myself off to see The Avengets tomorrow - been a long while since I’ve seen some action… in the movies, that is so I hope there’s plenty of it 
Despite the name, which sounds like some lame-arse hollywood flick starring Knobhead and Knobhead, Elite Squad 2 is really good. Haven’t seen the first though. There’s an interesting tone in each of the films, I don’t know if it’s a Brazilian thing because of the level of crime and corruption there, but the stories nicely portray the insidious criminality of those who gain and maintain power. The nature of which, I doubt, is much different from our more developed countries, it’s just that it seems to lie like an open wound in these films, or in this place.
Well, Taken was about as action-y as it gets. Perhaps you like your just a purist? You like action films that don’t try to go any deeper? 
I really didn’t understand why people liked Ghost Protocol I thought it sucked too. But generally, I’m a massive action fan. I generally measure everything against the classics, like Aliens, Terminator 2 and Total Recall. I loved the Bourne trilogy, the latest Batman films and the new style Bond movies are OK too.
Top three criteria I look out for would be:
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Something pure evil to fight against. Not just like ‘ze russians’, or some random terrorists, or a really posh sounding ‘evil genious’. I need something baddass / insane and evil that really needs stopping.
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Original and entertaining one liners. Like “Consider this a divorce” (Total Recall). Classic.
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An kickass-cool protagonist who you faith in to stop the big evil badass thing.
Top two things I don’t want to see in an action movie:
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That jokey, dumb sidekick put there to entertain the kids.
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‘Dumb humor’ in general. People being stupid or saying stupid things for comic effect.
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Over reliance on gadgets. Yeah they can be/are cool in small, cool doses but not when the whole film relies on them. The protagonist should be kickass with or without his gadgets and should only use them when they are really necessary (case in point, that wanky video screen thing in Ghost Protocol)
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Extended patronizing conversations where they spell the plot out for you or talk you through all this clever shit they just worked out.
Actually number (4) there goes for all films not just action. Characters should talk to each other, don’t pretend to talk to each other in a way that’s obviously meant to just be talking to the audience and telling them whats going on. Mini film rant over.
So, you want cheesy one-liners but you don’t want dumb humor? That’s an oxymoron if there ever was one.
Also I don’ mind if action films get deep. That’s awesome. But if you consider the dark night deep…
The bourne trilogy is average at best.
I do like some of the bond films. I like spy stories in general.
By ‘dumb humor’ I mean people being dumb or acting stupid for comic effect. Also, I don’t want totally cheesy one liners, I want original and witty ones. To me there’s a difference (obviously its just a distinction formed by opinion).
I don’t. I consider it highly entertaining (personally), but I never claimed it was deep. I don’t want ‘deep’ in an action film. I want entertaining yet grueling violence and action, and all the things I listed before. Any attempt at ‘depth’ would probably produce too much dialogue for me to find the film entertaining.
Gladiator. That’s another classic favorite of mine. I also have a soft spot for Woo’s Hard Boiled.
As I already said, by ‘dumb humor’ I mean people being dumb or acting stupid for comic effect. I can’t see how the action genre one liners are an example of this.
I don’t. I consider it highly entertaining (personally), but I never claimed it was deep. I don’t want ‘deep’ in an action film. I want entertaining yet grueling/relentless violence and action, and all the things I listed before. Any attempt at ‘depth’ would probably produce too much dialogue for me to find the film entertaining.
Gladiator. That’s another classic favorite of mine. I also have a soft spot for Woo’s Hard Boiled.
I thought: good fun.
Bad points - the self-consciously 3D camerawork at the start of the film. You’re right, Thor’s not impressive enough, you want Brian Blessed’s voice not some gruff lumberjack crap. People got smashed through so many buildings and trees that the fight scenes got confusing. And worst of all, Loki was extremely unintimidating. He’s Thor’s weedy little half-brother/stepbrother/whatever already, and Thor’s got his superpowered mates to help him. The reason the Dark Knight was good was that the Joker was a strong villain.
Good points - some of the one-liners and asides were nicely understated, there was something for the grown-ups in there. The characters were well-developed given how easily it could all have gone so wrong with so many strong figures all needing screen time. Things get smashed up, noisily. And the Hulk had some great visual comedy moments.
The only prequel I saw was Iron Man, which I enjoyed; I gave up on Cap. America and The Hulk (you wouldn’t like me when I’m Ang Lee).
You literally just lost, like, 99.98% of any respect I ever had for you 
It impressed me mostly because of the technology behind the filmmaking. I think the makers of the film are more impressive than the heroes of it.
The plot was complete bullshit in the end. Why did they fire that nuke at Manhattan, when a) this was pointless against the hole in the sky and b) they could apparently have shot it in there directly?
For the sake of others, next time put a spoiler alert before you talk about the plot of a film.
Agreed.