WHO, WHO are You?

Orbie · December 18, 2012, 9:34pm

This is going to be a strange post. Anyone daring to take the challenge of being honest about themselves. To be able to desribe themselves totally, without any hindrance, to totally talk about themselves, their hopes, future plans, romantic and social involvements, their age, phisical appearance, the place they live , the type of housekeeping, cooking, they do, travel plans, books in progress, parental relationships, quirks, fetishes, etc.

Who can do it? Without any artificiality? Who can go first?

Orbie · December 18, 2012, 9:58pm

I will go first, since I started the thread. I am obe. I studied philosophy at calif. State University way back graduating in 1971. That would probably little in way of the problem of calculating how old I am, but I will reluctantly disclose that I am 62 years old. I went on to study for my masters at cal state los angeles, then I got transferred to International college, in westwood cal, to study for a phil PHD under pro. Dr. Richard Kileys’s tutored. I met a girl I married of Asian descent, who I thought at the time would be my life’s companion. That turned out a right bet, for I raised 4 now grown children, and 5 grandchildren. I was a 60’s druggy, and I have sustained that even to this day, by frequent smoke. I am bisexual, but have given up gay sex for fear of AIDS, and have developed all kinds of obsessions about it.

My youngest son, my favourite, has killed himself over a year ago, and per his request , I published his book, which is out.

My wife is a registered nurse, who along with me, is having issues over the loss of our son, and consequently, went into a spiralling depression, loosing her job. Now we are facing the loss of everything we worked for because of her lack of insurance and loss of job.

As far as my other kids are concerned, they are doing ok, my oldest daughter is a lawyer, and has a live in female partner,whom she may be able to sustain a lifelong relationship.

I drove a city bus for 30 years, and as a consequence, had developed chronic health conditions.

I was born in hungary, came here during the Hungarian revolution with my mom, now deceased, and lived in a few states before settling here in California.

I have been lonely most of my life, and been a loner, but it has become second nature, and it doesn’t bother me as much as before.

I toy with the idea of returning to europe,to hungary,but since I published my sons book, the few remaining relatives’ reception of which, the jury is still out, may not receive me with as much enthusiasm as before. But I still have to go there, and we are planning for a late june early july trip from London to istanbul, with a weeks stay in central Europe.

I am of middle height, and am beginning to look older, but try to keep fit by working out at the gym a few times a week. My best friend of 20 years died years ago, and since then I had not made any friendships whatever.

Now, I appreciate as much companionship as I can get, and I value my membership to ILP a great deal.

I was in the USN reserves during the Vietnam conflict, but got a job on base, at Great Lakes ill…

My parents divorce right around the time I was 12 years old affected me deeply, and for years became very much affected by it. You guys are great, and I hope to contribute to this forum here and there to the best of my ability.

 Sincerely:  Obe

nano-bug · December 18, 2012, 10:05pm

The day classified infomation of the government is shared, I’d be much more open myself.

Orbie · December 18, 2012, 10:16pm

 It's coming.  Brave New world is decades old.  Nano bug,

Tralix · December 19, 2012, 12:02am

Unless there is a blow job in it, or a freebie at least, no. The interweb is a dangerous place full of people like me.

Orbie · December 19, 2012, 12:47am

Wonder wonder wonder wonder Who, wrote the book of love? This is why superficiality rules the feint hearted. But no matter, they turn up anyway. Patience is a great virtue. Philosophy is not dead. And we are too, alive.

fuse · December 19, 2012, 2:33am

Interesting story, obe. You seem like an interesting person. You did even before I read this. What made you want to study philosophy? Was your Masters and PhD work in philosophy, too? You have a PhD and you ended up driving a city bus for 30 years? Did you have other jobs during that time as well? That’s great that you’ve been with your wife for so long and good that you feel good about your relationship with her. You must be proud to see your children mature and start families of their own. I can’t imagine the pain of losing your youngest son, though. Or the grief. It churns my stomach a bit to think about it. I guess one has to make peace with it somehow.

I’m familiar with loneliness, too. I’m 24. I’m not a loner type of person (at least in the core of my being I do not feel like a loner), yet I’ve felt alienated from most people for awhile now. Much like you, I have grown used to it. The thing is that I know what it’s like to feel in tune with close friends and companions, to feel at harmony socially, at least I did, when I was younger, when things were simpler. Unfortunately, I haven’t made any lasting companions for a while. I’m guarded and easily discouraged. I never give up on not being lonely…but I also feel strongly resilient whatever the case.

I have the idea that there are other people out there like me, like resonant chords, and that we have to try. You know?

Flannel_Jesus · December 19, 2012, 4:23am

Very interesting read, Obe.

I will say one small vague set of things about myself only:

If I were to be completely honest about who I am at this point in my life, I would feel nothing but shame in writing it. I have emasculated myself with my decisions in life, to the point where I don’t know if I can ever legitimately call myself a man again. I feel nothing but dishonor because of a short series of decisions which will affect me for a very long time. I’ve wasted valuable resources, not the least of which is me myself and my own brain and body, and now I’m just living in lonely misery. I’ve no one to talk to about this, no one who would care and/or no one who would understand even if they wanted to care.

Most of the time I just try not to think about it. I’m getting pretty good at that.

Orbie · December 19, 2012, 4:27pm

Fuse, Flannell, Your posts reflect an eery, but admittedly general similarity. Specificity aside, lack relatedness for sure, is, at the bottom of what has come to be known as alienation. “Splendid isolationism” was the coining of the phrase, the late pres. Wilson when trying to keep the US out of WW1. My dear departed Dad personalised the term, for his own excuse on becoming totally sui generis, bless his heart.

 Greta garbo's saying "I want to be alone" 7r became an often repeated cliche.

 Thanks for the posts, but honestly, I do not know more about You, then before, but perhaps Yuou are reticent, because after all, yuou may be thinking, who'd be interested?  

 I would hazard to guess, in today's world, most people would rather be aninymous, trying to forget who they are, and place emphasis in looking for commonality, dreadfully fearful of loneliness.  It is unheard of in today's world to seek company with one's self, to hole one self up in a flat, and just be by one's self.  This would surely bring about a focus on one's internal processes., thereby forcing that person to realise his/her inner being.  I think this process has almost earned itself a bad name, whereas if you happen to be an idealist, your nature can morph into long unused types such as: mystic, occultist, etc.  Some fear this as bordering psychological disorder.  But the "normal", hectic pace of modern life has brought about  an almost painful realisation, that what's normal today has no application toward what used to be aesthetically approachable in life. I will never give it up, even at the cost of sustaining "parallel universes" within myself.  A self induced schizophrenia? Perhaps.  On more on this topic, look to Timothy Leary's "Neurologica", a magazine he put out in the 60's, and sorrily having misplaced.

fuse · December 21, 2012, 3:17am

I wouldn’t know what details to share to tell you who I am.

I like all the seasons, except I’m not terribly fond of spring. I live in Maryland, U.S., where we have a temperate climate. I like the summer heat and outdoor sports (especially pick-up soccer games) and driving with the windows down and warm summer nights and so many hours of daylight. I like the transition of fall with the crisp air and changing colors and falling leaves. I tend to go hiking with friends at least a few times in the fall. I like winter because it’s always satisfying to come in and cozy by a fire or in a sweater and sweatpants/blankets after being out in the cold. I also enjoy snow.

A couple of snowmen I’ve lead construction on over the years:

(2010 in front of my apartment at university)

(2008 in the middle of a field strewn with deer poop, which you can see adorning our snowman)

Spring is just lots of wet and chilly days.

My B.A. (May 2010) is in philosophy and English literature. I got a full humanities scholarship to go to my university. I studied at the Australian National University for one semester. In my junior and senior years I was vice-president, then president, of the Philosophy Council of Majors, or as we liked to call it PhilosophersAnonymous.

I was one of three editors of the undergraduate research journal. And a writing tutor.

I gave a speech and introduced the university president at the university’s 2009 Convocation ceremony for new students when I was a senior.

I thought I was going to go to law school, I took the LSAT, got an average score, then changed my mind.

I worked for 6 months after graduating on a temporary but good paying project for a large science and technology company. When the project ran out of funding, I looked halfheartedly for a new job and fell into unemployment for almost a year.

I found a job at a local shipping store, and I’ve been working there for a little over a year now. I still live at home, although I do pay my parents rent.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what happened but somewhere along the way something drained my motivation and I can’t get it back but for a brief second here and there. I’m the guy who fears life will pass him by while life passes him by. I didn’t always used to be like that, though. As smart as I am, I can’t figure it out. Or make myself get moving.

My younger sister just graduated from college yesterday. I am extremely proud of her. School hasn’t been easy for her. She wants to be an elementary school teacher and she’s great with kids.

We both need new jobs, haha. And we both need to take the GREs, so maybe we can study for them together. I’m better at the book learning and test stuff, but she’s more focused and organized. We might be able to help each other, at least that’s my plan. Hopefully she’s game. We get along fairly well as brother and sister, but we don’t have a lot in common as far as our interests go.

That’s not even close to me in a nutshell, but that’s me. I’ve said a lot about myself here over the years.

Sincerely: A

MagsJ · December 22, 2012, 8:59pm

I am: daughter to a handsome womanising Carib/Indian father and a beautiful convent-educated Carib/Indian/French mother who was too good for him, sister to two older bitch sisters and a once-obnoxious younger brother, aunt to eight gorgeous nephews and one beautiful niece, great-aunt to one cute grand-nephew and three pretty grand-nieces with two more grands on the way, girlfriend to a Jamaican/Brazilian male-model/hustler, and currently working as an actress/extra for whoever pays me a really good day rate.

Tralix · December 23, 2012, 11:17pm

Sorry magsj and fuse what you said kinda reminded me of this and I mean no disparagement by it:

Dr Evil:

The details of my life are quite inconsequential… very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it’s breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

I somehow doubt BW will be as forthcoming about himself though…

MagsJ · December 23, 2012, 11:27pm

Tralix:

Sorry magsj and fuse what you said kinda reminded me of this and I mean no disparagement by it:

Dr Evil:

The details of my life are quite inconsequential… very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it’s breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

I somehow doubt BW will be as forthcoming about himself though…

I was going for ‘serious’ though mine is a more biblical take on the interpretation of ‘me’ like begetting and such - I am either giving jokes or serious… there is no inbetween for me… it’s all or nothing.

Tralix · December 23, 2012, 11:28pm

Magsj:

Tralix:

Sorry magsj and fuse what you said kinda reminded me of this and I mean no disparagement by it:

Dr Evil:

The details of my life are quite inconsequential… very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it’s breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

I somehow doubt BW will be as forthcoming about himself though…

I was going for ‘serious’ though mine is a more biblical take on the interpretation of ‘me’ like begetting and such - I am either giving jokes or serious… there is no inbetween for me… it’s all or nothing.

Aye.

MagsJ · December 30, 2012, 8:12pm

Who, who are you?

Mr_Reasonable · December 30, 2012, 11:43pm

Obe I grew up in utter poverty and now I am essentially a ferile animal with a nice shirt and a bit of information in my head that I picked up while selling drugs through college. My life, in spite of it’s seeming haphazardness, is extremely principled. I don’t ever think about things that aren’t serious, and I hardly ever talk about things that are.

I feel like a spectator in a world who has a really good seat and enough money for all the popcorn I want, but I live under a constant feeling of being threatened in one way or another. I’m 33 and I’ve been doing the same thing since I was about 14. People might think I’m nuts but I’ve made my way all over the place in a leisurely fashion and I’ve had more fantastic experiences than almost anyone I know. I can ride motorcycles and play musical instruments I can create arguments to contend at just about every level I’ve encountered, I can produce everything I need for my life completely by myself, I know how to cook like a chef, I can build a small block ford top to bottom, change a tire, grow a plant in record time with near perfect fruit and I can ace a trivia contest, (so long as we’re talking about at the level of what you’d find in a bar). I have good relationships with women, and a great number of people who care about me in the world, in spite of having almost no contact with any relatives since I was an early teenager.

Long story short, I feel pretty good. I don’t have expectations in life that can be shattered. I’ve lived in very very poor circumstances, and I’ve lived in houses that were 5000 square feet. I’ve always been able to pay for cars and things like that with cash so I’ve never been indebted to a bank, (other than the department of education). I told myself when I was very young, that if I could manage to be the kind of person who could smile while lying in a ditch with a broken leg in the rain, then there’d be no way I could ever feel like my life really sucked. So that’s the mentality that I use. It’s been a long time since I’ve encountered the kind of circumstances that I was motivated as a child to avoid, and I think that’s a good sign that I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. Interestingly, apparently, what I’m supposed to do is almost nothing. Make people happy around me and make their lives convenient, be trustworthy and punctual with cash and everything I want just falls right into place.

I live the best life a person can possibly live with regard to the amount of time I have to put into securing the resources that I need to survive, and you can’t buy back your time no matter how much money you make, so I just keep almost all of mine to myself and spend every day slowly enjoying the world around me and being quite happy about it.

Tralix · December 31, 2012, 12:16am

Who,who, who who?

I am the wind, I am a ghost of a thought that you considered and rejected, I am…

I am undefinable like a geniuses brilliance is undefinable, I bend like a reed…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-ze1uMtFVE[/youtube]

I am the kwisats Haderach…

I am…

Pretentious.

MagsJ · December 31, 2012, 1:54am

Well… that serves me right for asking, doesn’t it

I merely jest with you… that was pretty cool

Tralix · December 31, 2012, 2:08am

I know hence the silly response.

Orbie · February 23, 2013, 4:28am

Smears:

Obe I grew up in utter poverty and now I am essentially a ferile animal with a nice shirt and a bit of information in my head that I picked up while selling drugs through college. My life, in spite of it’s seeming haphazardness, is extremely principled. I don’t ever think about things that aren’t serious, and I hardly ever talk about things that are.

I feel like a spectator in a world who has a really good seat and enough money for all the popcorn I want, but I live under a constant feeling of being threatened in one way or another. I’m 33 and I’ve been doing the same thing since I was about 14. People might think I’m nuts but I’ve made my way all over the place in a leisurely fashion and I’ve had more fantastic experiences than almost anyone I know. I can ride motorcycles and play musical instruments I can create arguments to contend at just about every level I’ve encountered, I can produce everything I need for my life completely by myself, I know how to cook like a chef, I can build a small block ford top to bottom, change a tire, grow a plant in record time with near perfect fruit and I can ace a trivia contest, (so long as we’re talking about at the level of what you’d find in a bar). I have good relationships with women, and a great number of people who care about me in the world, in spite of having almost no contact with any relatives since I was an early teenager.

Long story short, I feel pretty good. I don’t have expectations in life that can be shattered. I’ve lived in very very poor circumstances, and I’ve lived in houses that were 5000 square feet. I’ve always been able to pay for cars and things like that with cash so I’ve never been indebted to a bank, (other than the department of education). I told myself when I was very young, that if I could manage to be the kind of person who could smile while lying in a ditch with a broken leg in the rain, then there’d be no way I could ever feel like my life really sucked. So that’s the mentality that I use. It’s been a long time since I’ve encountered the kind of circumstances that I was motivated as a child to avoid, and I think that’s a good sign that I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. Interestingly, apparently, what I’m supposed to do is almost nothing. Make people happy around me and make their lives convenient, be trustworthy and punctual with cash and everything I want just falls right into place.

I live the best life a person can possibly live with regard to the amount of time I have to put into securing the resources that I need to survive, and you can’t buy back your time no matter how much money you make, so I just keep almost all of mine to myself and spend every day slowly enjoying the world around me and being quite happy about it.

Smears, it took a while to answer you, and after re reading what you said about yourself, I have to say, you sound like a very together type of person.  Philosophy has to be lived to be relevant, however difficult it sometimes seems to live up to one's words, and knowledge.  It reminds me of what an undergrad prof told me one time, he said "an untested virtue is worthless" and here he quoted Marcus Aeralius.  This is why i love philosophy, because thousands of years ok knowledge comes down to us from the pulverized sands of time. It's almost amazing how these words once came out of flesh upon bones, and are here as guides, they are like lamp posts showing the way through innumerable

Labyrinth of time.

Thanks for your blog,it’s. Belatedly.

I for one see no difference between existential sutuations from one person to the next, its the commonality which holds together which is the basis of the glue, that most of the time enables us to work in concert, even in the direst situations imaginable. And I am a firm believer that this social contract is not fueled by fear to belong, but by perhaps a hope of a need.

 We sometimes feel that our language is inaduquate to express what we want to say, and at times we feel inadaquate and silly for words we only wish we can take back.  But on the whole, it doesen't matter, because our words, too, are similar to those very sands of time from whiich the "who" of our soul come down from.