[A photo of a desperate looking monkey stretched between two trees by holding on with his hands on one tree and his feet on another, while other monkeys climb over him.]
[b]Morality
If you have to ask, you probably already know something about it.[/b]
[A photo of someone walking into a mirror, surrounded by dangerous unruly people.]
[b]Believe in Yourself
If no one else…[/b]
[A picture of a hiker in a remote area jumping in front of a boulder and being smashed to save a group of unfamiliar hikers, who walk off obliviously.]
[A picture of a guy standing on the back of a truck holding up a bottle labeled “snake oil”, a crowd is gathered around him with their arms reaching forth.]
[b]The secret to good health, success and a long life.
Sell the secret to good health, success and a long life![/b]
[A picture of some one standing alone amidst groups of people.]
[b]You are Worth It
Just not worth anyone else.[/b]
[Someone with a shit-faced smile holding a bucket over there head, with water running down their head and shoulders.]
[b]Stupidity
Let the complexities of the world roll off your shoulders.[/b]
[A picture of someone holding a five dollar bill trying to wake up a guy sitting next to a can for charitable donations.]
[b]Charity
What’s the use if no one’s watching?[/b]
[People who obviously have their shit together and their priorities straight celebrating.]
[b]Karma
Everyone gets what’s coming to them… and doesn’t what’s not — that’s grammar for you![/b]
[Several people smiling that appear to be made of gold.]
Yes,(poof), : left was right.,
Because, if the left was left, the right had to be right,therefore, the right couldn’t be left.
Condition: if the right is right, it couldn’ be left.
(Or condition to be right is to be left)
Therefore the left couldn’t have been left. Therefore right was left.(Otherwise left couldn’t be right)
[Several self-satisfied people in a living room surrounding one very unamused looking person.]
Interventions
Intervene, lest ye be intervened upon.
Ambition
Because who’s ever heard of going nowhere slow.
Try to see both sides.
[A scene depicting several hazards and unpleasantries such as poverty or disease in one direction and several ‘wholesome’, but very concerned and annoyed looking people all wearing knit sweaters staring intently at a piece of litter on the ground in the other direction.]
But, don’t strain yourselves.
[A scene with person in a suit running into a business meeting holding a brief case under his arm and a notebook; depicting that he’s ambitious and hard working, then a diagonal cut-out depicting a person handing someone a bag of money through a back door.]
Fools rush in.
The wise go in through the back.
[Healthy smiling people holding hands in a grassy field with a rainbow in the background.]
We’re all in this together.
[In the corner any given scene depicting horrid living.]
Some of us more than others.
[Three happy people obliviously skipping over a ledge next to where a homeless person is sitting on an old couch lost in thought with several books at his side.]
Thank you, I wrote them without any direct help, but then I’ve long been familiar with similar humor used by others. As far as my influence by ilp members, I’ll give Iambiguous the most credit.