New Religion?

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New Religion?

Postby turtle » Sat Nov 26, 2011 2:21 pm

my question---can i start a new religion?

i say yes..so here goes...i am god and you all need to find out what i am like...you are to worship me and follow my commandments..first off no more pre-emptive wars like iraq..stay tuned my faithful servants...
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Re: New Religion?

Postby Flannel Jesus » Sat Nov 26, 2011 3:22 pm

anyone can start a new religion. not everyone can start a successful one.
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Re: New Religion?

Postby turtle » Sat Nov 26, 2011 3:28 pm

Flannel Jesus wrote:anyone can start a new religion. not everyone can start a successful one.

my religion, the me religion, is successful because you signed on...it is based on the same bullshit that every religion starts with...

the old god died and passed the godship to me...he talked to me on the rock..
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Re: New Religion?

Postby Arcturus Descending » Sat Nov 26, 2011 6:07 pm

turtle wrote:my question---can i start a new religion?

i say yes..so here goes...i am god and you all need to find out what i am like...you are to worship me and follow my commandments..first off no more pre-emptive wars like iraq..stay tuned my faithful servants...

Why don't you forget about founding a new religion, little reptile - we have so many of them already. I can take you for a long, long, long ride on my wing, piccolo rettile, where there will be no servants nor masters - just an exhilarating and freeing perfect flight together. Religion cannot offer that. I promise not to drop you. And don't worry, I will be sure to deposit you back on your rock where you can then sit in repose and ponder the experience of our amazing flight together; that is, when you're not stealing looks at your della-porta acconto lei-rettile. :)
A fragrant breeze wandered up from the quiet sea, trailed along the beach, and drifted back to the sea again, wondering where to go next. On a mad impulse it went up to the beach again.

It drifted back to sea.”

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Re: New Religion?

Postby turtle » Sat Nov 26, 2011 7:41 pm

windwalker wrote:
turtle wrote:my question---can i start a new religion?

i say yes..so here goes...i am god and you all need to find out what i am like...you are to worship me and follow my commandments..first off no more pre-emptive wars like iraq..stay tuned my faithful servants...

Why don't you forget about founding a new religion, little reptile - we have so many of them already. I can take you for a long, long, long ride on my wing, piccolo rettile, where there will be no servants nor masters - just an exhilarating and freeing perfect flight together. Religion cannot offer that. I promise not to drop you. And don't worry, I will be sure to deposit you back on your rock where you can then sit in repose and ponder the experience of our amazing flight together; that is, when you're not stealing looks at your della-porta acconto lei-rettile. :)


wait--that might be too much fun...
but we could be gods together and cleanup all these horsehit religions that are silly..we would be the one true natural philosophy....it is interesting that none of the religion people have attacked the post yet..
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Re: New Religion?

Postby FilmSnob » Sat Nov 26, 2011 9:04 pm

turtle wrote:
windwalker wrote:
turtle wrote:my question---can i start a new religion?

i say yes..so here goes...i am god and you all need to find out what i am like...you are to worship me and follow my commandments..first off no more pre-emptive wars like iraq..stay tuned my faithful servants...

Why don't you forget about founding a new religion, little reptile - we have so many of them already. I can take you for a long, long, long ride on my wing, piccolo rettile, where there will be no servants nor masters - just an exhilarating and freeing perfect flight together. Religion cannot offer that. I promise not to drop you. And don't worry, I will be sure to deposit you back on your rock where you can then sit in repose and ponder the experience of our amazing flight together; that is, when you're not stealing looks at your della-porta acconto lei-rettile. :)


wait--that might be too much fun...
but we could be gods together and cleanup all these horsehit religions that are silly..we would be the one true natural philosophy....it is interesting that none of the religion people have attacked the post yet..


Goddamn your post.
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Re: New Religion?

Postby turtle » Sat Nov 26, 2011 9:59 pm

pezer--you may be damning the true god..watch out for consequences...all of the current religions need an overhaul...
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Re: New Religion?

Postby Moreno » Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:29 pm

turtle wrote:my question---can i start a new religion?

i say yes..so here goes...i am god and you all need to find out what i am like...you are to worship me and follow my commandments..first off no more pre-emptive wars like iraq..stay tuned my faithful servants...
And when you notice how this religion does not catch on, what will you have learned about your ideas about religion?
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Re: New Religion?

Postby turtle » Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:58 pm

Moreno wrote:
turtle wrote:my question---can i start a new religion?

i say yes..so here goes...i am god and you all need to find out what i am like...you are to worship me and follow my commandments..first off no more pre-emptive wars like iraq..stay tuned my faithful servants...
And when you notice how this religion does not catch on, what will you have learned about your ideas about religion?


actually the post was meant to show the silliness of religions..no one KNOWS anything. every religion starts with one person and all you have to do is be a bullshitter like me...
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Re: New Religion?

Postby Moreno » Sun Nov 27, 2011 2:15 am

turtle wrote:
Moreno wrote:
turtle wrote:my question---can i start a new religion?

i say yes..so here goes...i am god and you all need to find out what i am like...you are to worship me and follow my commandments..first off no more pre-emptive wars like iraq..stay tuned my faithful servants...
And when you notice how this religion does not catch on, what will you have learned about your ideas about religion?


actually the post was meant to show the silliness of religions..no one KNOWS anything. every religion starts with one person and all you have to do is be a bullshitter like me...
REally? Interesting. So how many followers do you have?
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Re: New Religion?

Postby Tab » Sun Nov 27, 2011 2:17 am

Screw it, let's all whorship the Turtle, there is no way that it can be anymore damaging than going to a regular church/mosque/etc. :lol:

[-o<

Ommmmm...
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Re: New Religion?

Postby Moreno » Sun Nov 27, 2011 2:19 am

Tab wrote:Screw it, let's all whorship the Turtle, there is no way that it can be anymore damaging than going to a regular church/mosque/etc. :lol:

[-o<

Ommmmm...
What's whorshipping look like, sounds very pagan or some form of human trafficking.
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Re: New Religion?

Postby Tab » Sun Nov 27, 2011 2:26 am

That's easy, it's just like worshipping, but with more 'h's.
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Re: New Religion?

Postby turtle » Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:49 pm

the turtle is the natural god...the idk god...

you can say you believe in god...no one will ask you about your god...and you can be one of the gang..
there is no god better than the turtle god...
in fact the turtle god makes more sense..
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Re: New Religion?

Postby Pandora » Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:48 pm

Don't turtles hold the earth up, or somethin'? Image
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Re: New Religion?

Postby tentative » Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:58 pm

Pandora wrote:Don't turtles hold the earth up, or somethin'? Image

It's turtles. All the way down...
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Re: New Religion?

Postby turtle » Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:01 pm

Pandora wrote:Don't turtles hold the earth up, or somethin'? Image


yes....

the turtle god

we need to get rid of all the old gods...the old gods are boring...
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Re: New Religion?

Postby turtle » Mon Nov 28, 2011 3:49 pm

this new religion should be attractive to an atheist..now the atheist can have a natural god and feel superior to the god people...
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Re: New Religion?

Postby Trevor » Tue Nov 29, 2011 3:37 am

A new religion needs holidays. I advocate Monday and Tuesday thus a 3-day working week. Sign me up. I also want to be canonised or whatever it is for forwarding this proposal which'll prove to be the most successful means of expanding our flock.
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Re: New Religion?

Postby turtle » Tue Nov 29, 2011 2:07 pm

trevor wrote:A new religion needs holidays. I advocate Monday and Tuesday thus a 3-day working week. Sign me up. I also want to be canonised or whatever it is for forwarding this proposal which'll prove to be the most successful means of expanding our flock.


trevor you and i are in...i like your idea..are you an atheist..we need atheists...we need persons who arent satisfied with present religions...they are dysfunctional..

also we need someone to be in charge of the god complaint department.
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Re: New Religion?

Postby Flannel Jesus » Tue Nov 29, 2011 2:15 pm

I'll be the treasurer
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Re: New Religion?

Postby Arcturus Descending » Tue Nov 29, 2011 3:22 pm

little reptile...

actually the post was meant to show the silliness of religions..no one KNOWS anything. every religion starts with one person and all you have to do is be a bullshitter like me...

I don't think that religions are necessarily silly, turtle. Sometimes our biases don't allow us to see a larger picture - the beauty and real meaning that may be within a certain religion and that nourish and fulfill us. In our arrogance (I know from myself) we tend to strip down the good with the bad...we pull out the healthy flowering with the weeds, in a sense. As humans, we tend to let ourselves get too carried away - our emotions rule our reasoning, or our reasoning is too rational - instead of there being a steady flow of both - one simply guiding the other depending on the moment. One oftentimes becomes slave to the other...we become slaves to one or the other. Some beliefs may become silly because of our human need. But if our religion does nurture and allows us to grow and expand humanely and spiritually, and if others are touched by that and causes no harm to self or others, well, then, isn't that what religion is for, ultimately? And I think that religion can do that.
A fragrant breeze wandered up from the quiet sea, trailed along the beach, and drifted back to the sea again, wondering where to go next. On a mad impulse it went up to the beach again.

It drifted back to sea.”

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Re: New Religion?

Postby turtle » Tue Nov 29, 2011 3:36 pm

windwalker wrote:little reptile...

actually the post was meant to show the silliness of religions..no one KNOWS anything. every religion starts with one person and all you have to do is be a bullshitter like me...

I don't think that religions are necessarily silly, turtle. Sometimes our biases don't allow us to see a larger picture - the beauty and real meaning that may be within a certain religion and that nourish and fulfill us. In our arrogance (I know from myself) we tend to strip down the good with the bad...we pull out the healthy flowering with the weeds, in a sense. As humans, we tend to let ourselves get too carried away - our emotions rule our reasoning, or our reasoning is too rational - instead of there being a steady flow of both - one simply guiding the other depending on the moment. One oftentimes becomes slave to the other...we become slaves to one or the other. Some beliefs may become silly because of our human need. But if our religion does nurture and allows us to grow and expand humanely and spiritually, and if others are touched by that and causes no harm to self or others, well, then, isn't that what religion is for, ultimately? And I think that religion can do that.


we need a NEW religion...all the current religions are not helping because they have gods that are unbelievable..a new god needs to be proposed...a god that is in tune with nature not some silly fairy story..will you meet with trevor and flannel and me..
we need a wordly woman...

jesus you can be the treasurer if everyone wants you..
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Re: New Religion?

Postby turtle » Tue Nov 29, 2011 7:00 pm

atheists are wanted in the new religion...

ithink many atheists are so repelled by the judeo-christian god that they just are revolted by the thought of any god...

there are things out there that we cannot comprehend.
we needto focus on what is going on here on earth..
and the idea of an afterlife is problematic..

just think a natural god and all the jc god people are wrong and you are right..
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Re: New Religion?

Postby Kriswest » Wed Nov 30, 2011 6:22 pm

Sorry my friend I can't worship any more than I can be a slave or servant out of force. I tend to be a tad stubborn and ornery. I can't seem to bend my knees to anyone or anything. Gods may exist but if they want me to serve them they have to treat me as an equal otherwise they can kiss my lily white ass. Ok since its winter and down right freezing to me right now it may have a touch of red or blue in it. They can educate me but they cannot threaten me. I would rather cease to exist than serve.
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