A long time ago, when id finaly gotten over my insain god-complex, if fealt realy realy bad and some part of me wanted to kill me and wanted me to die, and i realized later that fear of death was one of it’s main powers over me…
Now i also had a problem…
Were the god-complex tried to make me evil,
though i had (at that time) a theory that both the satanic and the holy were un-healthy extreamists who only harmed and whore out their “fallowers”…
So then, i tried to stay centered… so hard…
And just get rid of rightious extreamism…
But now i think that subcontiously, if you have been with a religious group for a long time… then you leave… part of the origonal god-complex that was judgeing you as now bad, causes you to become more oposite to it then you would have ever normaly been if it had ever just left you alone!
I tried so hard to just stay centered on balance and health-based judgement or right and wrong.
Anyone here ever seen or been through this kind of shit before?
There definitely is this aspect of disappointment in a religious system. “Once bitten, twice shy†you could say. If you have managed to keep balanced then you have managed more than most.
It certainly shows the responsibility that “believers†bear when they attempt to convert young people to their particular brand of religion. The bad conscience that (intended or not) follows the person who becomes disappointed is often formed with reference to the group, failing to accept that the more open a group is, the better the chance is that people will remain believers, even if they leave the group. Therefore the question has to be placed: Are missionaries concerned about the soul of the “convert†or just the numbers of their group?
For someone who has been disappointed by some system of faith it is important to go inside themselves and ask what they have experienced, what was good and what was bad? Has the hope that took you into the group remained or has that hope been driven out? Perhaps we could discuss it here.
Id simply realize that what was moraly right, was most healthy and most practical… so then their mundane, mechanical view of “good” and “bad” was ritual and ingrained, and not based on balance or reason. They would put trust and faith in what was said to them, above their ability to think… wisdom was not part of the picture, obediance was the only thing needed.
So now, id wished some sort of objective-practical thoelogy existed…
They would not say to you: “Do this because God wants you to”,
they would say: “In the bible it is written to fallow this law, and moden science shows the belifites/dis-advantages of the practice here… what does your own ability to reason and think tell you?”
But is it a provision of ture education that builds our reason?..
Or is it the babblings of a faitful fool who does not know, yet speeks?
I let my false faith die, then resurected it 1 part at a time,
using logical support. What religion ever put practical above commandment?.. yet practical is wise, and is God an ideot?
So i said no to religion, but had not reason to take the bible the wrong way then attack it, because i applied it with reason and wished to only look at the words in a practical and balanced sence.
My problem now is confidance.
Normaly false faith has confidance because the group incurages eachother and keeps on feeding eachother endless opinion,
were as i have to just trust it because of the fact that it is logicaly most efficient for my long term health and well being…
It doesnt feel as “strong” or as “right” now…
but no one can proove me wrong about what i know is right.
Dan You seem to be following things but dont understand exactly why . You must experience the truth not just read about it , otherwise you cannot verify its the truth . It is absurd for people to think that heaven expects them to just believe without anything solid to believe in .
What i was talking about,
is looking at biblical moral commandmets in a difforent light.
“God wants you to do this” or
“God commands you to do this”
isnt much of a good substitute for
“This is the why it is harmful or un-healthy for self and society if you do this, please dont do it.”.
And if heaven had no proof, then practical theology wouldnt bother saying it was true or even talking much about it because it was of no use in the sence of practical proof / application?