Fucking Ugly Signatures

[Flannel Jesus]

Just look at this shit

If it were up to me, I'd have much stricter rules about signatures here. 2 lines of text max, they can be colored and bolded and italicized how you like, but no changing the font size, and no pictures. But, I do understand that whoever runs this site doesn't want rules that strict, but at the very least I don't think anybody wants to see that piece of shit up there every time they read a post of his. When the area the signature takes up on the screen is 20 times the size of the area of your actual post...come on, for fuck's sake. There's gotta be some limits to signature size and content. (I'd also complain about SIATD's signature, but that bothers me a lot less than that one up there).

[Typist]

When the area the signature takes up on the screen is 20 times the size of the area of your actual post...come on, for fuck's sake.

I coded my forum software so that when the post is shorter than the sig, the sig doesn't appear. Of course this doesn't stop folks from posting long nonsensical rants....

[Flannel Jesus]

I coded my forum software so that when the post is shorter than the sig, the sig doesn't appear.

That's a pretty brilliant solution.

Code: Select all

if post.length > 2*sig.length
 then show sig
else
 fuck off

[Tab]

FJ, I cutpaste that code into my board template, and it keeps returning the error:

Error: cmd "fuck off" not recognized.

Is there something wrong with my computer..?

[Flannel Jesus]

it's a subroutine i wrote. it basically puts a virus on their computer that makes gay porn pop up every time they type the number 6

[Tab]

6666.

Holy shit!!!

[SIATD v2]

Just look at this shit

If it were up to me, I'd have much stricter rules about signatures here. 2 lines of text max, they can be colored and bolded and italicized how you like, but no changing the font size, and no pictures. But, I do understand that whoever runs this site doesn't want rules that strict, but at the very least I don't think anybody wants to see that piece of shit up there every time they read a post of his. When the area the signature takes up on the screen is 20 times the size of the area of your actual post...come on, for fuck's sake. There's gotta be some limits to signature size and content. (I'd also complain about SIATD's signature, but that bothers me a lot less than that one up there).

Only took you three attempts to get it right. Not bad. Not good either.

My signature was taken from a fellow poster's post. If it was reasonable for him to post it then it's reasonable for me to sig it.

[Flannel Jesus]

Your sig just screams, "I WANT ATTENTION!" That's what makes your sig ugly.

[SIATD v2]

Translation: it is still working

[Tab]

[Flannel Jesus]

You got me there. Americans can't have a monopoly on all the vices.

[Helandhighwater]

The Admins/internet peeps could add a program to give you the option to turn sigs off. I think that would be a good idea, but if they can't do that, don't shoot the messenger ok, cause my sig is kosher, self serving and arrogant but kosher. The animals were bled using the required rituals, and no animal was unduly stressed.

[phyllo]

User Control Panel-> Board Preferences->Edit Display Options->Display Signatures NO

[Flannel Jesus]

User Control Panel-> Board Preferences->Edit Display Options->Display Signatures NO

gorgeous!

[MagsJ]

I can't see sigs coz I is on an I-pad

If sigs are crazily big then a member of the moderation team will request it be reduced..

[PavlovianModel146]

My sig kicks ass.

[Contra-Nietzsche]

My signature is a small picture banner, smaller than Pav's and Magsj's (most of the moderators have picture banners), and its of a philosophical theme. Not big or obstructive.

Now.... that bullshit I had hanging off the bottom when I was Christian Overman was a sick parody of Taz's long ass quotes with pictures underneath. The rocket he had going up into space, and once in space docking in orbit with a giant glowing cross. It was truly stupid and annoying, and I hated it. Hence how I knew it would work.

[PavlovianModel146]

My signature is a small picture banner, smaller than Pav's and Magsj's (most of the moderators have picture banners), and its of a philosophical theme. Not big or obstructive.

Now.... that bullshit I had hanging off the bottom when I was Christian Overman was a sick parody of Taz's long ass quotes with pictures underneath. The rocket he had going up into space, and once in space docking in orbit with a giant glowing cross. It was truly stupid and annoying, and I hated it. Hence how I knew it would work.

That wasn't Taz, that was RU. They are different people. See you in three months, bud. (Pursuant to Warning in Social Sciences) My E-Mail is the same as my handle on here with @yahoo.com on the end, feel free to E-Mail me.

[Helandhighwater]

You got me there. Americans can't have a monopoly on all the vices.

It was the old world that invented all the vices, Americans have just gone on to perfect them, monopoly no, more like Buckaroo.

[Only_Humean]

Just look at this shit

If it were up to me, I'd have much stricter rules about signatures here. 2 lines of text max, they can be colored and bolded and italicized how you like, but no changing the font size, and no pictures. But, I do understand that whoever runs this site doesn't want rules that strict, but at the very least I don't think anybody wants to see that piece of shit up there every time they read a post of his. When the area the signature takes up on the screen is 20 times the size of the area of your actual post...come on, for fuck's sake. There's gotta be some limits to signature size and content. (I'd also complain about SIATD's signature, but that bothers me a lot less than that one up there).

From the ILP Forum Rules:

Signatures

The standard request for signatures is to not exceed 250px high in size total (text and images combined).
ILP staff reserves the right to request adjustments to member signatures as needed, or remove signatures if members do not comply with the requests.

I've PMed ZK with a request to comply.

That said, I think Typist's solution is the most elegant.

[Flannel Jesus]

now that I know that I can just turn sigs off, it's all good, but thank you anyway OH, I'm sure others will appreciate it as well.

[Helandhighwater]

now that I know that I can just turn sigs off, it's all good, but thank you anyway OH, I'm sure others will appreciate it as well.

I do like a happy ending. Is it time for a group hug?

My signature is a small picture banner, smaller than Pav's and Magsj's (most of the moderators have picture banners), and its of a philosophical theme. Not big or obstructive.

Now.... that bullshit I had hanging off the bottom when I was Christian Overman was a sick parody of Taz's long ass quotes with pictures underneath. The rocket he had going up into space, and once in space docking in orbit with a giant glowing cross. It was truly stupid and annoying, and I hated it. Hence how I knew it would work.

No one cares about a picture banner particularly if they are as good as the one's on here: kudos whoever did them by the way, nice graphic design; I think the wall of text, picture of some shit no one cares about, see my blog thing is the issue. If I'm not stepping on Flannel's toes.

Me I have through years of forum training, and some Zen meditation, learnt to ignore such superficial things. But for those who are not closing in on enlightenment, I understand the issue.

Actually if I am being serious, it's years of being spammed with advertising, I literally have no idea what any advert says any more. I only noticed the sigs because someone said something about it.

Not that anyone cares what I think probably, but every sig on this thread is fine by me. Just as a bench mark to my opinion.

Your sig just screams, "I WANT ATTENTION!" That's what makes your sig ugly.

I disagree, in context with the thread it was on it's actually pretty funny, a sort of wry in joke. But I can see if you don't know the context how annoying it might be...

I can't see sigs coz I is on an I-pad

I re mon, and big up to the Jamaican... posse... in da house, swift and sweet my bretherin and sisters... I and I is in Babylon mefoot, and we is with Ja now.

Is it just me or has text gone ethnic.

[MagsJ]

I can't see sigs coz I is on an I-pad

I re mon, and big up to the Jamaican... posse... in da house, swift and sweet my bretherin and sisters... I and I is in Babylon mefoot, and we is with Ja now.

Is it just me or has text gone ethnic.

I is St. Lucian, seen... call me Jamaican (or any other island come to that) at your peril

Yes bredrin, we've gone all Yardie on ourselves ta bloodclart

[Helandhighwater]

I can't see sigs coz I is on an I-pad

I re mon, and big up to the Jamaican... posse... in da house, swift and sweet my bretherin and sisters... I and I is in Babylon mefoot, and we is with Ja now.

Is it just me or has text gone ethnic.

I is St. Lucian, seen... call me Jamaican (or any other island come to that) at your peril

Yes bredrin, we've gone all Yardie on ourselves ta bloodclart

Sucks teeth*

[ZenKitty]

Look at me now slots!!!!

Notice how all the mice come to a Zen kitty?