Silhouette wrote:What's wrong with using?
When using goes to plan it's because there was an understanding that you too would be used in return. You respect each other's shallow intentions.
It's only a problem if one of the people involved was expecting something deeper, or came to want something deeper during/afterwards. This isn't a problem with using, it's a problem of naivety and inexperience. Ought shallow flings to be "not as good" as deeper relationships? Surely they have their place - they can be very appropriate and just what you needed.
Strikes me as though there is an underlying assumption that the lasting, meaningful, "true" is to be deemed more "good" than the fleeting, shallow glimpse.
This is absurd unless there is an assumed value such as the reliability of something lasting. The assumption that effort is more "good" has been suggested, along with respect only applying to that which endures.
Where is your justification for these values?
For the most part I agree with your doubts and suspicions although I don't care for justifications. Ultimately my point of view may be beginning from an aesthetic point of view and therein lies an imbalance which you've hinted at but failed to respect. It's not naive not inexperience, I don't know what it is, I'll just say it is what it is, but ultimately I objectify. I objectify women, and I objectify their beauty thus it is true to say I am expecting something deeper, in a sense because I am not only expecting something deeper but I am finding something deeper, it's just that whence this comes into contact with the real, it has the potentiality to collapse. A woman in a short skirt is hot, I lust for her, I desire her, but a woman in a dress I do not lust after, I want her but I want her in a different sense, maybe I simply want o own her, I want her beauty within my command. I'm expressing nothing more than what I believe to be the under-currents of my thoughts. I know they're possessive, I know they're damaging, but that's what I believe is there nonetheless...whatever...I'm a wee bit drunk...
