The communist job career advice center
Characters:
C.A. -Communist Advisor
W.W. -Wren Wilkinson
WW
Hello!
Name is Wren Wilkinson
CA
Hello Wren!
WW
Yeah, im here about a job
CA
Right. Here take this. Gives Wren a form to fill out and then as Wren grabs it (punches Wren lightly in the arm)
WW
Okay. A form. What's the light jab for?
CA
You don't like that do you?
WW
No, not particularly. Why did you do that?
CA
Its a test.
WW
What kind of test?
CA
(sarcastically) Bronchitus. (sternly) Pain, you whiny little nincompoop.
WW
Yes, i felt pain.
CA
Good. How's your left buttock? (knocks on left buttock) Hello anybody in there? (waits a few seconds and then gives up)
WW
I guess okay.
CA
(As if awaking from a dream) The army!
WW
I'm not in the best shape of my life...(gets cut off only to be kicked in the shin)
Owww! What the hell?!
CA
(inspection voice) Strong chins. Good high cheek bones, how's your back?
WW
Gives me some problems from time to time but I...(gets whipped in the back)
ahhhh (pain) My god! You just whipped me! Am in the right place? This is the communist job center?
CA
Well I for one, hope so (looking around the room for an answer). Just a few more minor preliminary tests and you'll be working in no time. Wren.
WW
Yes?
CA
Not a question, the end of the last sentence.
WW
Oh. haha. good one.
CA
Your hearing? (Whispers to himself)Can you hear me when I talk like this
WW
What?
CA
(whispers again) Your pants are down and your dong is out. (giggles to himself)
WW
What's so funny?
CA
Nothing. (pauses) (Looks down at Swimsuit Edition #24: Dream about me in your sleep, spank off to me while you are awake) Well it looks like you are perfect for becoming a computer technician.
WW
Computer technician?!
CA
Yes, this is the communist career advice, not the democratic career advice center. No freedom of choice in here, as far as I can tell. So start learning to type and be on your way lad.
WW
But i don't even own a computer
CA
Not. My. Problem. There's the door, please exit the premises, unless you want to be mugged by a fat man on a tricycle.
WW
A fat man on a what? Well lets say someone calls me to fix their computer, and i don't know how to do it?
CA
Sounds like a predicament.
WW
It does, because it would be one.
CA
Okay, you can have mine to learn from, but fair warning: An assassin will come and get it after you're done.
WW
I don't want yours.
CA
You don't want my computer?!
WW
No.
CA
Take it!
WW
No.
CA
Now!
WW
No!
CA
Okay, well how about a shoe?
WW
Why a shoe?
CA
Well, good thing you asked. I'm having trouble sitting.
WW
You look perfectly well sitting.
CA
It's my foot, every time i sit it aches and its come to the point i don't want to wear shoes.
WW
I know a podiatrist that can...( Interrupted)
CA
A WHAT?!
WW
A podiatrist. Foot doctor.
CA
Guards take him away.
(Two men in military wear haul off the man)
CA
But, i didn't do anything wrong!!! This is a mistake. You're a mad man! (voice trails off)
WW
That'll teach him for making fun of my Aunt Footie, looks down at his left foot which is wearing a dress.
