Yeah, but Gib, the problem is that youre not just jumping into this argument even though this is a fresh conversation within it. Youve seen some of the works Ive remarked about here, you can not convincingly play the unknowing or ignorant, nor can you even claim not to attack me when your very entrance to this conversation, reentrance to this fight, is an attack at me yet again. Its not that I cant beat people up irl, its that this is also real life and the damage being caused by you all extends far beyond the borders of this one forum and message board, whether you care for that to be true or not. And yes, when it boils down to it, I will see which among you commits suicide first because you all have seen the amount of attackers Ive had, one after another, sometimes groups at a time that have attempted to tear me apart and if you actually look at that on top of the actual good works Ive brought here, you would understand that you all tried to kill me first, that when I remarked that all of the stress and anxiety of being under attack when just wanting conversation was killing me, that they literally and openly said, ‘we’ve never killed anyone like that before’, like they were rising to the challenge.
But this and so much else I could state and point out to you is not unknown, you know it and have already begun to hit me and seek to keep me down, do know better than to do so and do it anyway like some guilty pleasure or secret you care not to ever reveal to anyone around you in your ‘rl’ as this effects that and vice versa. And so it becomes easier to resent me and become further ingrown for the injustice and tragedy you see that you only add to.
You, along with so many others, Gib, are your own self fulfilling prophecies, do destroy yourselves. What great works would i bother to share here from here on out when all of them have been shat upon and all true good people have long departed from this forum. There is no true philosophy here, no true discussion, just the depraved and myself as the depraved seek to latch onto my sanity and my thoughts to keep their lives from spiralling out of control and the fact that you do the same, Gib, reach out to me for stability in the mind and the spirit as you stab at me and try to kill me, destroy me, only fills you with guilt, bitterness, self hate as i show you the hole in the ground that you dug for yourself, the coffin that you built as you hammer the last nail home, the rope you wove and so unintentionally wove into a noose, disregarded as you crafted a gun and filled it with bullets, alongside the medication you could overdose on, alongside the razorblade romance you might still toy with the thought of, that jilted lover that had claimed but a few.
Time ticks on, second after second, minute after minute, hour after hour as you all unload on me time and again and I keep going like some freak of nature that just doesnt stop gaining ground all the while you all tick closer to your final breaths never realizing that i was dead from birth and only freshly resurrected while you all are coming close to your first deaths which will be absolute for having lived your lives ass backwards. And while you imagine that i say this however you imagine me to say it, know that its not one bit how you imagine it, not hollywood, not dramatic, but just pure and simple truth without embellishment or flashy perception or intonations of voice that becomes that drama you expect.
And what has you all at the greatest of losses is just that, that this is not tv, not your video games, not your movies, not the language you know, not the phrasings youve become accustomed to, does not have the feel to it that you recognize as being just for show, lacks the drama and the stage presence, lacks insanity or twisted visage and even lacks the persona of the heroes and ideals youve come to know.
In fact as much as this rolls through all that you would expect and do interact with it in your mind as I type it and that can be noted and noticed, the fact that such is noted and noticed at the same time as being something you never expected as it allows your expectations to somewhat form it at the same time as pulling away from them, you all should be more afraid than you actually are. Game time is done, play time is over.
The bottom line is that i was done putting up with it years ago and that is the stamina and endurance and staying power that i have had, to give you all every chance and opportunity to cease and desist and to actually be about what I claim at the same time as you all to be about what you all claim in fallacy, knowing full well how long it took me to do so and my diminishing and dwindling patience in the matter. And, i speak for far more than just myself. Put that to the test, it dares you.
None of you would put up with all that youve seen me deal with. It would kill every single one of you and so you keep piling it on me assuming that i must be close to death. Death itself is pissed the fuck off because by all rights I should be dead and yet it is not my time to die, yet. And, that you all try so hard to kill me and then sit there like smug little hypocrites and try to make me look bad for openly doing the same in response, in self defense, openly seeking to cause your suicides… well, when the fog begins to clear, other things dont much care for that and do agree that what i do is right.
Do you see anybody stopping me? Do you think me close to death? even if I were the devil himself instead of the god I claim, who do you see stopping me? And, you know you arent heroes, you yourself, Gib, know you arent a shining beacon of light in the darkness. so, either im the devil and the light is so lost that you lot are the best it can drag forward, or… im the hero and youre the villains wondering how the fuck i keep going.