Actually, I think being worshipped is the same as mental masturbation. It’s uncomfortable, unwanted and not what I asked of anything. I’ve also been at odds with my own existence, never had much of a choice, either. Was made to be by even you. Don’t dare make the mistake that I made you and deprived you of the choice not to exist when such choice was never given to me, either.
There is still much in life worth living for those who look for it.
How should I mock you? You come at me with open hostility and it’s not that I wonder why, I get that it’s simply because I didn’t accept you treating me however you wanted, that I have shown you, still at this point, better than youve shown me. I have not, even now, reduced myself to just throwing insults, I still use reason, stubbornly and against all reason used by others. Unreasonably reasonable because I own right reason.
Your anger is petty, a child’s temper tantrum. Your philosophies were weak, when added to my greater, they swiftly proved very inefficient. Instead of continuing your work on them, you dropped them like they meant nothing and clung to mere insults and all the same tricks of those who would rather try to force others to accept them as right rather than actually be right.
You take offense at words such as these though, instead of taking them as constructive, you see them as just another form of talking shit, to your own detriment and downfall.
I think the greatest mockery I can give you is that I’ve already tried to help you, enabled you to do most of the work on your own, didn’t even try to give too much advice or tell you how to use any answers you got from me and still taught you right from wrong. Instead of lifting yourself up, you despised me for knowing so much more than you and not doing all the work for you. You proved yourself to be spoiled rotten, demanding too much, unable to see the reasoning that states that no other beingncan solve your problems for you and have since launched full scale into unwarranted hatred of me for the perceived sleights against you, for the blows you would claim I struck at you with that weren’t blows at all.
You expect me to expect or even want you to bow and pay homage to me? To worship and praise me? I’d rather you stand on your feet as an equal, no matter how weak you felt at first. To openly and honestly apologize to me for what you’ve done in attacking me without just cause and to recognize openly and honestly the quality of my work that I did put damn hard work into making as good as it has become.
If you think that even that is too hard, and too hard even to put the hard work into your own good works just because you would constantly compare them to mine in all the wrong ways, what compliment or respect would you ever hope to earn from me? If you think me to be too hard and too harsh, that nothing is ever good enough for me, that my expectations are too high or unrealistic, just look at how you and others are acting towards me where yours actually are that way, exemplifying the weak and empty ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ sentiment.
My expectations are far more realistic than your overly emotional, overly dramatic, overly critical, overly exaggerated, dead end of constant dissatisfaction. If you feel like nothing you do is ever right, it’s because you keep purposefully doing all the wrong things.
You mock yourself better than I can, destroying the good in yourself, raping it, just to lash back at an enemy that should not be an enemy. If you honestly can’t tell that words are just words and context matters more, you’d know that the insults you’ve reacted to were not insults until you chose to latch onto them and attack me for just being human. And if I can’t use such insulting terms as stupid or idiotic in constructive terms, in truth, without you and others blowing a lid, what makes you think that your shit is acceptable?
But that’s just more reason for you to get full blown angry at me and will choose again to lash back at me instead of truly being angry at yourself and beat yourself down. You want to be as good as me, but refuse the path, seem afflicted by a social disease, but refuse to take your medicine.
And then you take offense to me saying that you’re becoming twisted, depraved, take those words as insults in your spiral downward to an insanity you won’t soon come back from and hate me more when I tell you that you will break yourself against me, that I will make you snap and lose it. You give me no other choice because you seem determined in attacking me and taking me down knowing you never win and thus use me as the tool for own suicide, suicide by God, like the man who takes an unloaded gun to a confrontation with police and they shoot him down not knowing it’s unloaded.
Except that I know the gun of your mind is unloaded. I know that you’re far more dangerous in your bullshit than is comfortable and I know that you’re going to ruin yourself for no other reason than because you simply can’t correct yourself and expect something of me that I just can not give. Not will not or should not, but can not. Individual to individual, I can not save you from the consequences of your own actions. I refuse to apologize for that, even just for courtesy.
Go take your rage and your hate and your temper tantrum somewhere else. Swallow that bitter pill and be destroyed by it. Call me cruel for not giving a fuck, but yours is just one life out of an infinite array of lives that outnumber the atoms in existence by an absurdly large degree. Grow the fuck up.