I wish female models would give me BJs when I wake up.

That’s like, my top wish. Happens a lot in the morning, I’m waking up, dreaming two, three women are around me, then I wake up, it is a fucking cat next to my head, purring, wanting food.

Fuck you cat.

You probably have cat hair all over your clothes.


No blow jobs for you Turd because you are celibate so go feed the cat and stop dreaming about sex

Supermodels don’t suck off guys with cat hair?

Nope.

If I use a lint brush, will they?

If you do it right and remove all the cat hair, and if you don’t smell like cats, then maybe.

Let me guess, you woke up today and had a wet dream where you’re extrapolating what your fantasy was before you woke up.

No, never had a wet dream.

Liar.

Honestly, never. Wack off way too much to ever have any extra for when I sleep.

Be careful not to poke an eye out.

It’s only six inches long, thankfully it can’t reach my eye, cause if it could reach my eye, it could reach my mouth, and that’s just no good. I wouldn’t want to live in a world where guys could suck their own cocks, no no no no no.

Turd’s new name Dirk Diggler

vimeo.com/17054798

:scared-yipes:

More like Hand Solo :frowning: