I have been undone and it is the truth that has laid me low…
this truth has embarrassed and ashamed me before my own eyes
but it is in my search for my greater humanity, that I reveal this truth
and how I am undone…
as is known, I am engaged in the only struggle worth pursuing, not wealth,
not prestige, not fame or titles or honor… no pursuit has been of greater
value for me,
in the Philosophy forum, the thread name is, “A new understanding of today, time and space”…
there I’ve tried to understand what it means to be human with myself as an example of
what it means to be human, truly… for philosophy is one means of exploring our humanity,
as is science, as is art, as is politics, these are just means to discovering our humanity…
I’ve used my myself as an example of where we are and where we need to be…
to create an ideal and then find the path to realize that ideal…
and here lies the truth revealed to me that has embarrassed and ashamed me…
the difference between the ideal that is pursued and the reality that is now is
revealed…
I received an e-mail from an old and very, very wise friend today…
this kind friend pointed out the distance between my ideal and my reality
and thus undid me…this wise man point out my words of ideal, words that
show my attempt to become more fully human are just that, words…
I proclaimed in me, my need to become more fully human… in being a nicer
and kinder person… let his words show my failure…
“One moment, you say you fully intend to become a nicer person-
an hour later, you tear into WendyDarling. Is everything ok with you?”
This truth, this honest truth shows me the distance between my ideal and
my reality… I proclaim myself to be an honest seeker of the truth and that
truth has shown me the distance between the ideal I seek and the reality that
is…it only took me an hour to fail in my test to become more fully human,
it only took an hour to expose the reality of who I am with the idea of who
I want to be…
so I want to thank the wise man who pointed out my failure in
the distance between who I am and the need to be to become fully human…
I thank you Derlydoo for being that friend… if only everyone had such a
good friend…
so I dust myself off and I begin anew in my pursuit of becoming fully human…
I begin to climb that mountain again… this height of which is becoming fully human
and the plain below which is the reality of our everyday existence…
we climb and we fall down and we dust ourselves off and begin anew,
every single day…the important thing is to dust ourselves off and begin
anew our pursuit of being fully human, of becoming something greater then
ourselves… this ideal of becoming…
“I am human” which means failure is thy name… this failure is the distance
between our ideal and our reality
the struggle my friends, is becoming and that becoming is the ideal we set for
ourselves and strive for and struggle for…in that journey from birth to death,
will I ever succeed in my journey of becoming, to becoming fully human…
does that even matter? I struggle to close that gap between ideal and reality,
an ideal that I set for myself and I shall fail… but that struggle defines me
as man, and as human…
“Verily, we say no, but the struggle is to say yes, yes to all our yesterdays,
and yes to our todays and yes to all our tomorrows”
I dust myself off and begin anew in my struggle to become more fully human…
Kropotkin