Thread for Old Farts Only

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Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Oughtist » Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:12 am

aka the Wisdom Thread... no one who has not owned a Walkman ... oh alright, a Discman (but not one of those cheap dollar store knock offs) ... allowed.

Bladder Control: Why?
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby PavlovianModel146 » Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:33 am

I owned a Walkman and I'm only 26!

It took me until about 1998 (I was 14 years old) to finally accept that CD's were going to replace Compact Cassettes, I think much of that had to do with calling Compact Cassettes, "Cassette Tapes," or, "Tapes," instead of CC's, which would have been catchier. It seemed to work for CD's.

I still refuse to accept MP3's or any of that bullshit, so I'm going to continue to buy (even though I rarely do) CD's until they are discontinued. I can't really say that I never buy CD's, I just never buy new ones. I usually will walk out of any yard sale or flea market with five or so CD's, never more than two dollars apiece. $20.00 for about twelve songs is fucking ridiculous and I'm not paying it, you could go out to dinner for the price of two CD's, and leave a decent tip depending on where you go!

Anyway, can I be in this thread since I owned a Walkman? We could make this thread exclusively for people who have attained the age of 25 or older, or something...
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Oughtist » Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:37 am

Ok, you're a cheap bastard and you don't accept change. Consider yourself a Junior Old Fart, Pav. Any thoughts on Depends? For myself, I'm on the cusp of becoming aware of the magic of FloMax. The pipes, the pipes aren't blowin'...
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby PavlovianModel146 » Wed Oct 06, 2010 4:48 am

Oughtist wrote:Ok, you're a cheap bastard and you don't accept change. Consider yourself a Junior Old Fart, Pav. Any thoughts on Depends? For myself, I'm on the cusp of becoming aware of the magic of FloMax. The pipes, the pipes aren't blowin'...


I love it!

I'm afraid I've never had any trouble pissing (or not pissing) so I'm not much help in that regard.

I actually have diarrhea-predominant Irritable Bowel Syndrome, I had my Doctor sign something that I carry in my wallet that says I can go to the bathroom anytime I want (Just in case). It actually came in handy once because I was at a gas station that does not have a public restroom (It would have been about five miles to the next nearest thing that was open) and I had to go the bathroom in a rather urgent way. Anyway, this bastard wouldn't let me use their employee bathroom, so I broke out that card signed my doctor and told him that I would sue both him and the gas station owners if he forced me to shit myself. It worked.

Fortunately, the IBS has actually only forced me to shit myself one time. I was about ten miles from home and absolutely nothing was open, I pulled into a gas station thinking it was open but it closed at 11:00 and it was 11:05. Anyway, I finally made it home (I was maybe twenty at the time) and the floodgates opened about three steps from my bathroom! Waste of a good pair of jeans, that was.
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby tentative » Wed Oct 06, 2010 5:02 am

Hmmm, I know I'm chronologically ancient, but as a pawnbroker, I've owned all that shit. I never kept any of it personally. Does that count? My kids looked at dad's pawnshop as a candystore, and every piece of crap "new" electonic whiz bang was something they just had to have. I understand the ageing stuff. Shit just keeps falling off, doesn't it? A semi-humorous anecdote: along in February, my heart went lazy on me. Congestive heart failure was the diagnosis. After six months of drugs, tests, and more drugs, the cardiologist said he had good news. The drugs had done their job and the heart was functioning normally. Obviously, the first thought was, Hey! I'm going to live! The second thought was, Well shit! Now I've gotta have a plan...

There isn't a hell of a lot one can do about ageing other than trying to maintain a semi-healthy lifestyle. Growing old is part of the deal. But the first sumbich that tries to tell me I have to grow up is going to get my cane up along side their head! :wink:
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Dominic » Wed Oct 06, 2010 11:27 am

Oughtist wrote:aka the Wisdom Thread...

EDIT: I tapped out a few things off the top of my head but in hindsight they weren't anything special.
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Kriswest » Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:20 pm

I recall as a sickly kid wondering if I would make it to twenty, as a twenty year old with an ability to do stupid things and middling health issues I figured I would be lucky to hit 30, as a 30 year old with a husband and son I wondered if I would make it to forty without out getting the death penalty, now I am midforties and I wonder if 50 is worth the hassle, If I make it to fifty, I plan to revert back to my teens. :banana-dance: :banana-dance: :banana-dance: :banana-dance:
I will be bitchy, cranky, sweet, happy, kind, pain in the ass all at random times from now on. I am embracing my mentalpause until further notice. Viva lack of total control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is not a test,,, this is my life right now. Have a good day and please buckle up for safety reasons,, All those in high chairs, go in the back of the room.
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby tentative » Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:57 pm

Kris plans,
If I make it to fifty, I plan to revert back to my teens.
Yeah, I told the wife I'm looking forward to my second childhood. Her response was, "No one will be able to tell the difference."
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Kriswest » Wed Oct 06, 2010 4:06 pm

You may want to get your eyes checked befor you go back to childhood repition is either a sign of senility or blindness.. you choose :lol: :lol:
I will be bitchy, cranky, sweet, happy, kind, pain in the ass all at random times from now on. I am embracing my mentalpause until further notice. Viva lack of total control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is not a test,,, this is my life right now. Have a good day and please buckle up for safety reasons,, All those in high chairs, go in the back of the room.
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby tentative » Wed Oct 06, 2010 4:41 pm

There is something screwy with ILP software. I NEVER had probs with double posts until the last update, and since then have had several. But you're right. Senility could be part of the problem.

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I think I've forgotten this before." - Steven Wright
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby MagsJ » Wed Oct 06, 2010 5:19 pm

I guess I qualify for this thread :roll:

A healthy diet and muscle-building exercise is the key to youthfulness :wink:
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Kriswest » Wed Oct 06, 2010 5:21 pm

Don't forget sex!
I will be bitchy, cranky, sweet, happy, kind, pain in the ass all at random times from now on. I am embracing my mentalpause until further notice. Viva lack of total control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is not a test,,, this is my life right now. Have a good day and please buckle up for safety reasons,, All those in high chairs, go in the back of the room.
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Tab » Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:54 pm

I posted this in the Men-only thread. But I think it's too 'old' for most of the ILP clientelle to empathise with.

I'm 42 btw. Does that count towards old fartism..?

Okay. [old] Man Topic:

My dad had it better than me.

Let's see. My Dad did not have to do the washing up. My Dad's clothes mysteriously ironed themselves. Whenever he set foot in the dining room, food appeared on the table. Reasonably hot, reasonably tasty. He had two children, who both came home from the maternity hospital, and strangely looked after themselves until it was time for them to leave home and find jobs of their own. At which point they asked him for some money periodically to help them on their way. Shops existed, as did supermarkets. He knew that because it was written so on the outside. How they worked, or indeed, what they were for, remained a mystery to him for many, many years.

Six-packs were just how the beer came. Razors were only for facial use. Aftershave was 100% alcohol, and hurt like fuck. As it should. Hair came and went wherever it liked, whenever it liked. These were good times to be hair. There were no homosexuals. It was okay to call people with different coloured skins funny names. In fact there were comedians on the telly who did, and it was really funny. You could tell, because everyone was laughing. It was absolutely de-rigguer to swear loudly at any woman who dared set one high-heeled foot inside a car. Though actually, de-rigguer wasn't even a word when my dad was younger.

Women often had cleavages in public. And legs. There were hardly any fat bastards around. And if there were, it was completely okay to say "hey fatso, buy me a drink." There were many places to park wherever you went. Houses only cost a couple of thousand pounds. Those houses were large, had big gardens front and back, with driveways and separate garages. And stairs. Showers were new-fangled, and one bath a week was totally cool. Graphitti hadn't been invented. And teenagers weren't a bunch of fucking headcases. You could build extensions and decorate loftspaces without having to brown-nose every civil servant in the world. There were only four channels on the telly, and one of them was always football. There were no TV remote problems, because there were no remotes. Adverts were few, and far between. Telephone numbers were easy to remember, because there were only 5 digits. No-one had emotional needs.

Going to the restaurant was easy, because they all served pie and chips. Clothes were easy, because whatever you wore, you looked just fine. You didn't need to learn about computers. Or buy the latest mobile phone. Popstars were all nice, sang pretty nice songs, about nice things. You didn't have to worry about death or the afterlife, because God took care of those details for you, as long as you bunged him 50p every sunday when the collection plate came round. It was totally okay to smoke. Anywhere. Anytime. Smoking was good for you, like vitamins. Vegetables in your diet were optional. As was fruit. In fact, no-one knew what you were talking about, if you used the word diet. You could hit your kids, in fact you could hit anybody's kids, if they pissed you off. Or find a policeman to hit them for you. Kids = hitting. There were no pedophiles.

There were transvestites, but they were safely on the telly, and were absolutely hilarious.

My Dad had it better.
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby MagsJ » Thu Oct 07, 2010 12:26 am

I'm not far behind you in age Tab, though I'd say we border the young n reckless/old fart fence - I find myself saying "In my day" and "When I was young/your age" so I guess that definitely makes me qualify.. somewhat. :|
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. - MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something at some point in time.. Wait, What! - MagsJ


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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby tentative » Fri Oct 08, 2010 2:21 am

Tab,

I'm sure you've considered it, but just to confirm: I doubt that there has ever been a generation who didn't think that dad had it easier and lived a simpler life. And mostly, they have been right. Problems continue to grow in complexity every generation, and the pace of living continues to grow at an ever faster rate. Is there an upper limit of which we are capable? Could it ever become less complex and move a little slower? I don't know, but I do know that one day, Artun will write the same thing about dad...
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Tab » Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:56 am

:lol: However, if each consequitive son thinks his father had it better, that means - If they're right - the world is going down the plughole.
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Kriswest » Fri Oct 08, 2010 12:59 pm

Each parent thinks their kid has it better and easier. which is right?
I will be bitchy, cranky, sweet, happy, kind, pain in the ass all at random times from now on. I am embracing my mentalpause until further notice. Viva lack of total control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is not a test,,, this is my life right now. Have a good day and please buckle up for safety reasons,, All those in high chairs, go in the back of the room.
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Dominic » Sat Oct 09, 2010 6:42 am

Oughtist wrote:aka the Wisdom Thread...

You know, it's like, if you've never taken drugs and they're starting to talk to you, you really gotta blast through it at least a couple of times or else you'll just end up as some dumb schizophrenic.
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Oughtist » Sat Oct 09, 2010 7:39 pm

Dominic wrote:
Oughtist wrote:aka the Wisdom Thread...

You know, it's like, if you've never taken drugs and they're starting to talk to you, you really gotta blast through it at least a couple of times or else you'll just end up as some dumb schizophrenic.


I'm aimin' for harmless old man... :character-oldtimer:
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby MagsJ » Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:30 pm

I'm aiming for fruity ole bird :lol:
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite.. - MagsJ

I haven't got the time to spend the time reading something that is telling me nothing, as I will never be able to get back that time, and I may need it for something at some point in time.. Wait, What! - MagsJ


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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Kriswest » Mon Oct 11, 2010 8:34 pm

Yep you are English all right,,, in USAin if you aimed to be a fruity old bird... you would be an old Lesbian chasing after younguns. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Gotta love the differences that pop up from time to time. :banana-dance: :banana-dance: :banana-dance: :banana-dance:
I will be bitchy, cranky, sweet, happy, kind, pain in the ass all at random times from now on. I am embracing my mentalpause until further notice. Viva lack of total control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is not a test,,, this is my life right now. Have a good day and please buckle up for safety reasons,, All those in high chairs, go in the back of the room.
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Oughtist » Mon Oct 18, 2010 2:21 am

...eehh, I was gonna say somethin... hmmm...
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby tentative » Mon Oct 18, 2010 3:03 am

Oughtist wrote:...eehh, I was gonna say somethin... hmmm...

But now you can't remember what it was... :lol:
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby Oughtist » Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:10 am

...swear tug odd, I can virtually witness my wits slowly slipping away, ... or at least certain varieties of them, such as the ability to remember what I'm talking about...
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Re: Thread for Old Farts Only

Postby tentative » Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:28 am

Oughtist wrote:...swear tug odd, I can virtually witness my wits slowly slipping away, ... or at least certain varieties of them, such as the ability to remember what I'm talking about...

I prefer to think I'm just cleaning house - getting rid of all the extraneous garbage I've collected over the years so I can focus on the few essential things that make a difference... like, did I have breakfast or not? Are my pants zipped? Is it nap time yet? You know, the important stuff. :-"
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