1000 - Tab becomes Legend

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1

Those of ‘legend’ status are…

  • Philosophy’s chosen ones - Bringing a new age of peace and light to the world…
  • People with really muscley fingers and long attention spans…
  • Just hopelessly in love with themselves…
  • Just as clueless as everyone else…
  • All the same person in disguise…
  • Sad, no-friend types, probably typing from their momma’s basement…
  • So clever they make you want to spit…
  • Proctologists.
0 voters

[size=75][Please note post count][/size]

Right you Legendary types out there, floating in the ether, I’m only one post away from joining your exclusive brother-sisterhood of the mind, thusly removing [size=150]any [/size]remaining trace of such dignity the title may hold… :smiley:

I got me index finger wired to the ‘submit button’… [size=200]1000[/size] here I come…
So whatchoo gonna do about it then…? Huh…? Huh…?

Make me an offer, hard cash, sexual favours, sports cars, novelty fridge magnets - I don’t care…

I want a helicopter on the roof and the loot in a duffle bag by 12 midnight…

[size=150]Don’t fuck with me copper [/size]- [size=200]I’ll do it.!!! [/size]

2

Now I enjoyed this. The sort of manic obsession with triviality that drives all philosophers. Very entertaining.

3

Tab,

Luckily I’ve been them all at one point or another. Makes for a well experienced thinker.

Except for the proctologist.

I applied for the job, but I couldn’t find an opening.

4

Nothing wrong with being an ILP proctologist. At least you’d be at the original source of most of what is written here… :stuck_out_tongue:

JT

5

Rather a cynical poll eh, Tab?

6

11:59:30
“Still no helicopter in sight love…?”
“Hayır…”
11:59:45
“Now…?”
“HAYIR”
11:59:59
“Well - they asked for it…”
[size=75][Finger descends… submit][/size]

:smiley: [size=200]1000[/size] :smiley:

… And…[size=75] nothing[/size]…

:unamused: - See, I told you this legend business is phooey, I’m still the complete dumbass that I always wa

Huh? C a n’t re ach th e key bo ard ???

Tabula rises slowly out of his chair, drawn upward by a scintillating beam of light, his spine arches back in a perfect bow, his jaw opens wide with a creak of protesting sinew as he throws back his head and screams…

[size=200]“There can be only one !!!”[/size]

[i]The windows of the computer room implode and the fragments are sucked into a whirling vortex of crystalline sparkle. The writhing figure at the epicentre contorts and hunches, flinging it arms wide like some spastic Christ - its suddenly expanded senses, floating calmly above the agony being visited upon mundane flesh, abstractly register the recursive uncoiling and meshing of DNA strands into a new and altogether more philosophical bent…

Suddenly over - the blasted and bleeding form of Tabula drops loose-limbed and nerveless back into the chair…[/i]

[size=75][Groan][/size]

Hmm - seems my cynicism was a tad misplaced - Ben is God afterall.
[size=75][Stretches][/size] My word…! The crick in my neck is… Gone… Extra vertebrae in the neck - preventing keyboard hunch ! - My… my face - increased levels of melatonin lending protection from monitor glare…! My eyes ??? Spinoza© lenses - I can now concurrently see everything from two totally incommensurate points of view…! My wedding tackle - slightly elongated - for no particular reason…

Time to try out my new philosophical Super-Obfuscatory-Power®:

Crazy glue: “Principle of adhesion”

Fish and Chips: “Oleicly immolated icthian & transmogrified tubers”

Hamburger: “Interstice of the body corporate and the intestīna populi”

Seems to be working fine… I have indeed become…

[size=167]Legend…[/size]

7

Nah, ben/god still decrees that you be shallow (funny as hell, but apparently still shallow…).

8

Hello F(r)iends,

This coming from a Recovering Shit Distributor…

:stuck_out_tongue:

-Thirst4metal

9

Tab,

As always - you da man. :laughing:

10

I don’t want to crack your egg or anything Tab, but you’re still number 19 below me. Still… I didn’t expect you to pull something like this off for your big 1K… Guess we can all rest now that you’ve thrown the universe out of balance once again, heh.

11

I hope you are enjoying all this, Tab, because I’m not

12

Thanks for the comments people [size=75][sniff] [/size], Sage - as ‘the Prisoner’ said - “I am not a number… I’m a free man !!!”…

Dear Threshold-Darkener - do you mean - “I’m not enjoying this thread” or “I’m not enjoying ILP in general”…?

If it’s the former - I’d say “Well - that’s you off my Christmas card list”

If it’s the latter I’d say “An actor must know his audience, before getting into character”. Gnomic - my middle name…

Must dash, world to save and all that.

13

:laughing:

14

And I’ve got thresholds to darken, but I was only being silly, this is a hilarious thread so far. With Ben and Imp on holiday all kinds of madness have broken out on these boards.

15

Hey! Are you suggesting that the rest of us moderators are part of the madness here? That’s pretty cheeky, my friend.

I must keep closer Tabs on you… :sunglasses:

JT

16

Hail Tabula.

Besides the above, I’d like to throw out some rant for all, propobably unrelated to nothing. Being here in ILP has done me a great favor besides bettering my crappy english a little - it led the Nietzschean light to shine upon my used-to-be miserable ass. You have no idea men: in all sorts of imaginable ways possible - your words and lines have made that particular light to shine even brighter for me. Take an example, Fabiano’s suicidal pessimist nihilism has made me dug deep into the Nietzschean spirit… All these sorts of stuff led me to conclude that Nietzschean philosophy is the most efficient and upbringing of all - who cares about f888 meta-physical truth? Philosophy is for the purpose of application in practical situation, all else is art, intellectual art, nothing more. I prefer not to be such an artist, who sadly, searches on and on right unto death, without realising what is sought is nonexistent, above all - nonesignificant. The question the wise man asks above all I think is - how can I/ME/NOT OTHERS, get HAPPINESS/JOY/NOTHING ELSE?

sei rein

17

Hey everyone… tentative said ‘Tab’ when referring not to Tabula Rasa… but someoneisatthedoor… urges everyone to laugh… and no one does

… … … I don’t need to prove anything to you guys :stuck_out_tongue:

18

hahaha

suddenly I have the Inspector Gadget song in my head. whoo-hoo!

you have to admit… it’s pretty catchy…

What if a large part of the audience is all characters, in an impromptu ‘play’? lol

internet forums are finally getting old… maybe I’ll take up knitting…

yawn

Yay for being legendary… yet shallow.

19

Ahh - the legendary blessing of his mighty Ben-ness is now complete, I am an oxymoron at last…

[size=75][And no quips about leaving off the ‘oxy’ part - I’m w-a-y ahead of you][/size]

Beating of own drum officially over. :wink:

20

Uhhhh, so do we just call you OXY? :laughing:

JT