I wasn’t sure of where to post this. I was thinking maybe Psychology, but then again no…the Rant House…nah, it’s not really a rant…whatever, here works.
Today…sucked. I’m feeling awful about myself for no apparent reason. I was fine until lunch, and then I was crabby, depressed, anti-social, irritated, angry…fuck me running, and call it a quickie.
I think I’m feeling sorry for myself but I don’t know why. As it applies to ILP, I find myself wishing I could get a comment, good or bad, on the photos I posted, and I wish half of what I read here didn’t go over my head because I’ve ceased to use my brain for the last seven years and instead spent all of my time worrying about making sure I wasn’t homeless, or that when I was I had somewhere warm to sleep, and getting high so that the worrying about all of it didn’t matter so much. I miss feeling like an intelligent person, here I feel like a damn fool. I’m trying to learn, but I have very few resources at my disposal to familiarize myself with many of the philosophers you all speak of so often.
How fucking stupid is this thread? I’ve resorted to using ILP as a place to vent my idiocy. Lovely.
See? Feeling sorry for myself. Tomorrow I’ll wish I hadn’t posted this, or maybe shortly after I hit “submit,” but I’m going to post it anyway.
I know how to pull myself out of this funk. I’ve been dealing with my own chemical imbalances for years now, without medication, I’m quite good at regulating my moods…I just don’t think I have the energy tonight. Perhaps bed is where I should be.
If my own personal history here is any indicator; even if you don’t regret hitting the submit button, the likelihood is that someone will come along and make the regret real, regardless.
Just a long winded way of saying, “You aren’t alone, we’ve all done the same thing”. Cut yourself a break, drink a beer, a glass of wine, read a book, slap a midget, make fun of someone ugly/fat/smelly in private and have a good laugh.
It shouldn’t be any problem to get a bad comment on any post here. The fault surely lies with us and not with you. Lemme take a peek…
Hmmm…you don’t look like a mental case, but often it’s difficult to tell from a picture. Beautiful hair under a stupid hat. Are your eyes green, or that color that changes all the time?
Don’t listen to Mas - last time he slapped a midget, the midget broke up with him.
Why don’t you write a nice long essay about being homeless, or nearly homeless, or whatever you were? People love that stuff. I blog, and it’s the entries where I talk about my recent heart attack that people really liked the best. I mean, why should you be the only one that feels sorry for you?
I find that when I’m feeling blue, the best thing to do is to help someone. Fortunately, I am seldom sad, for I do not much like helping people.
The hat was stupid, but I was drunk, and it was new year’s.
My eyes are green nearly all of the time. They turn grey when I’m sad, look blue in a certain light, and get wickedly kerry green when I cry or get really pissed off.
I don’t like to think too much about the point in my life when I was homeless. I’m trying to concentrate on the future rather than the past. I suppose I could post something about it, though. Or dig up some of the writings I did while I was (I’m not even sure if I still have any of them).
I don’t like to engage in self-pity all that often. It’s irritating. I hate when others do it, but a million times more when I do. Thanks for indulging me in the little bout I had yesterday, though.
It does make me feel oh-so-much better! It’s like I’ve done a 180…
No NO! You didn’t understand. He was fishing for your address to send YOU a quarter. He’s cheap therapy alright. He has to pay to get anyone to listen to him let alone try any of his “therapy”.
You know, somewhere in there is an insult I think, but I can’t find it, so, I guess I’ll just maintain my blissful obliviousness and keep talking to you.
Maybe you’ll keep talking to me.