I woke up about 15 minutes ago from a very disturbing dream.
Some of you may already know that I suffer from borderline-insanity. Lately, I’ve been crossing over more often then I’d like. I am not the kind of person that will ever submit before medication or treatment. The causes of my situation is mainly from my disconnection from society. Since I see actions before they occur, socializing feels bad to me. It feels “unfair” for me to be around other people, because I know the reasons for all things while they do not. It isolates me more and more. I am “cursed” with some kind of “gift” of foresight. Anyway, getting to my point…
I had a very disturbing dream tonight. I was in some kind of maze. During the first phase of this maze, there were four rooms or more and I was in one of the rooms. Everybody was given equal tools (weapons) to use to kill one another with. Upon knowing this, I felt somewhat panicked about how to win. Before I could plan anything, the “game” started. So, I did the best that I could to win. The “opponents” weren’t human (as far as I could tell). I don’t even know what they were really. They were these undefined things. It was disturbing. Regardless, I ended up “winning”, but before I could understand my position, I entered my next dream (maze).
The next maze was more difficult. It was a serious of rooms connected to one another and everything about these rooms was abstract. Some were shaped differently and how they were connected were all different. There were only about five rooms or so. I was making my way through these rooms, figuring out if there were any puzzles within them and I observed that one of the rooms “felt” like it was the exit to the next maze. It was closed. So, I went back through the rooms and tried to figure out the puzzle. In one room there was this mirror-like object. I stood some distance away from it and so a distorted image of my face. When I moved around even a fraction the image became abstract in many different forms. The images that came to me are unexplainable, because my psyche itself couldn’t recognize it.
Somehow, I won, but there was a skip in time, because I don’t know how I won. I was moving outside this maze from the exit and when I came to the next puzzle, I didn’t know what was going on. I felt confused and as if I was talking with somebody. I was trying to figure what was happening when I woke up.
I have never had a dream like this before. It was disturbing. I literally thought myself out of the dream. I was semi-conscious as I dreamed and looking back on it–it seemed like I was awake the whole time. The puzzles were representations of my dream-sleep. They were forms of pure chaos that normally relax the psyche during rest. However, tonight, I attempted to figure it out and it woke me up. I hope this doesn’t happen often in the future, because I need a lot of rest to maintain a “safe” balance in myself. Whatever.
Anyway, I have a conclusion to this–an idea.
All “new” thought to the human mind is created during sleep by a fluctuation of brain waves in sub-conscious rhythm. While human animals are awake, the thoughts that we produce about our current day were all drawn from our previous sleep cycle. That is why sleep is so important. The longer we go without sleep, a particular person stresses their “being” or “self”. The heart can become damaged from such stress. The conscious brain wave of the daytime activities is one of limited possibilities. In other words, the thoughts that you have during your “conscious” day is planned out ahead of time. Your “subconscious” brain waves, tapped into pure chaos, allow your possibilities for the next day.
Your brain wave stays active, but “rest” is a matter of restoring your brain wave through pure chaos. Energy is exerted by the human mind (and spirit) by ordering (and limiting) these thoughts throughout the conscious daytime. In other words, your waking life is just the mere result of the last sleep you woke up from. While you are sleeping, your mind rests in 100% chaos. when you wake up, your dream remains but in a reduced capacity.
Everybody is awake-dreaming.
Don’t worry folks. If I sound crazy, then don’t mind me–I’m just dreaming…
On a serious note, I hope I don’t go insane. I’m a little worried if dreams like this become a problem for me and I keep waking myself out of them.
(I need a wife to take care of me–soon–or I’m not going to last much longer. No worries from me … yet.)