I was depressed at the time, and thinking of going into the hospital. Anyway, i’m not depressed right now at all, but I remember what i was thinking during those sad few weeks and i wanted to share it with you folks.
What i wanted to do was, I wanted to walk down a busy main street waiting for cops to drive by and then pointing at them. At first i thought i might flip them off, but that would be too easy. I wanted to get their attention but without breaking the law, so i decided not to flip them off, but to blantly point right at them, in a suspcious way. Maybe i might even wave at them in a retarded sort of way.
I have ideas why i would want to do this, but none of them are reasonable and worth an explanation. But i wanted to point at the authority figure. It seemed like a fun thing to do, and in fact, i felt a little bit of adrenline before i was about to leave.
But the cops themselves are adreniline junkies, so i didn’t feel so guilty. I guess the idea was to push it as far as i could without getting locked up. You cant even imagine the things I wanted to say to them if they pulled over to question me. I wanted to talk about the roman empire and the poor who threw open the castle walls to the invading barbarians.
Who knows, maybe i might still do it someday, if i get depressed again.