the question of existence is really the question of meaning…
what does meaning… mean?
what is meaning?
we have the meaning of life…
we have the meaning of existence…
we have the meaning of history
and the meaning of philosophy
and the meaning of psychology
and the meaning of sociology
and the meaning of economics…
and the one word that is in doubt is the word “meaning”
existence becomes a question of meaning…
what in the world does that mean?
is a question I have asked before…
is that what he really means?
oh, for the love of god, you can’t possible mean that…
in my handing dandy dictionary the word
Meaning: what is intended to be, or actually is, expressed or indicated;
signification; import…
- the end, purpose or significance of something…
existence becomes a question of meaning………
what do I mean?
it is the significance of meaning that allows us to
take measure of our realty or existence……
she had a meaningful look on her face…
and meaning can be interpreted in many different ways…
I can “see” something and gleam some significance from it whereas
if someone else “sees” it might not have any meaning or value…
I read the words of Nietzsche and I see “Meaning” whereas someone else
might “see” insanity or just a waste of words or simple waste of time……
I often get into trouble because I often see meaning whereas others see nothing…
am I something other then they are? it would seem to be…….
do I “see” deeper then other people? perhaps, perhaps…
I often talk to people who tell me about their day…
they tell me of their “errands” that they accomplished
that day and they tell of the stores they went to
and the groceries they bought…….
and they see a day of accomplishments and things getting done…
and I see a wasted day…and If challenged to dig deeper…
they say, we must go about our daily lives and do our errands
and make the bed… who else will live our lives?
and I ask… are you even living your life?
have you examined your existence?
is this really the best existence you can find for yourself?
is life really about our errands and our shopping and
vacuuming the carpets and doing the dishes and all that endless
stuff we do in this existence?
is this all our existence really about?
mindless task that bring us no closer to what it “means” to be human…
mindless task that shed no light on what it “means” to be alive…
mindless task that doesn’t bear any light upon our existence…
I cannot find meaning in our daily task of cleaning or of doing errands
or even going to work…… why even work when work doesn’t enlighten us
to what our task really is………….
there is no meaning in our day to day lives and yet that is all we ever do…
just exists… day to day with errands and vacuuming and cleaning
doing the dishes and finding no meaning in any of it…
I look at our daily lives and I see nothing more then Kabuki theatre…
ritualized actions that have no meaning or value…
when will we finally drop the mask and learn to exist
authentically?
I see nothing more then performance art in the way people live out their lives…
I can’t see or find meaning in the daily task that people seem to perform every day…
but my role, my role in this is to perform as husband and father and worker
and consumer and citizen… but I only act out my role……
it is all for show… as I said, Kabuki theatre……
can I “live” authentically given ritualization in our lives?
the question is can I find “meaning”… authentic meaning in an life
that is designed to be as inauthentic as possible?
I spend my days… hours after hour after hour being inauthentic to myself…
for I must exist within a certain framework that demands, demands that I
work to create profits no matter what it does to my soul?
the capitalistic system demands inauthenticity… It demands
that we hide our true self to gain income enough to put food on the table
and a roof over our heads………
how do I find authenticity in a world designed to strip me of my
individuality… I must dance to the corporate tune of the same words
to each customer and wear the same clothes as my other coworkers
and wear black shoes and punch in at a set time and clock out at
a set time and clock out at lunch and clock back in, in one hour…
and a sheet of paper tells me which checkstand I work at and
when my breaks are and who to call when we have a line of customers…
we must always call when too many customers are standing in line…
it is corporate policy…and if I fail to comply?
and if I fail to comply? I am insubordinate… and the greatest crime
in the modern world… defiant of authority… disobedient to orders…
I am number 942566… I clock in every day with that number
and I get on my register with that number and I can get my schedule
online with that number and I can get time off with that number…
how do I exists authentically, when at work, I am just a number?
and I have my driver license number and my social security number
and all my other numbers that identify my to others
and how do I exists authentically when all I am, is just another series of numbers?
where is my meaning in those numbers?
how do I find meaning in my number of 942566?
I don’t care if work makes its numbers or creates it profits
and I don’t care if the manager gets his bonus or we make payroll…….
I only see the nullification of the human soul as we/I am negated
and denied my meaning within my existence…….
I cannot possible be authentic when I am negated, denied
being human for profits…….
how can I be human when my meaning is less then the profits I might make
for the corporation?
my meaning/ my value is nothing if I have less value then profits?
what is meaning?
I don’t know…
Kropotkin