A philosopher's ordeal

It occured to me, that a lot of people on this forum have similar experiences.

i have been thinking alot philosophy and now, I’m unable to make sure about anything, i feel like i live in several different worlds. i have a strong sense of loneliness. because i feel like i can only feel that i am a lonely thinker. when i look at something that is funny, i cannot completely put my emotion in it, because i doubt that this could be my illusion or something. yes, it could be not, but only “could be” is enough for me to not peacefully enjoy the fun. sometimes i even guessing that i am the only one exist in the universe, and everything is just my different feelings. even “making sense!” is a one of the feelings.

for example, when you read my post, how do you make sure that this is not your illusion? yes, you may say “because so and so…” , then think again, isn’t “because so and so…” a simple feeling also?

A couple of months ago I was where you are now

Is the above experience only perculiar to our philosophers? I mean, do we all have to experience the above to become a philosopher?

Well, If you are referring to Solipsism?

I used to feel that way before intermittently until I set foot in this site.

But I learn one thing for sure you are merely some accumulation of constituent parts that are able to type and input words in that computer. And I am the one and only subject in this world.