a thread for mundane ironists

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4441

[b]Sad Socrates

Reality is just as afraid of you as you are of it.[/b]

And some considerably more than others.

I never knew if I knew me but now I know I don’t know me for sure.

Me? Not even close.

If you know what it’s like to breathe, you know what it’s like to die.

You know, one without the other.

[b]Top 3 things to break:

  1. internet
  2. hearts
  3. rules[/b]

And not many have the balls to skip 3.

Just realized the impermanence of snowflakes mocks Heaven.

So, does it snow in Heaven or not?

Philosophers put the die in idea.

They hid it there in other words.

4442

[b]Richard Yates

…my first wife passed away in the spring of— and for a moment he is touched with terror. The spring of what? Past? Future? What is any spring but a mindless rearrangement of cells in the crust of the spinning earth as it floats in endless circuit of its sun? What is the sun itself but one of a billion insensible stars forever going nowhere into nothingness? Infinity![/b]

In other words, let’s not go there.

All her life, from the time she was eight or nine years old, Gloria had relied on a neat, nearly automatic little trick of her mind for adjusting to minor disappointments. When you opened the bright wrappings of some meager or poorly chosen gift, you simply let your mind tell you it was just what you wanted; that way you could always make the right response, and you could even believe it.

Of course most folks aren’t hard to fool.

Anybody’s marriage might benefit from an occasional embargo on talk.

Days at a time if you’re lucky.

Sometimes in dreams there are visions of the past. For that reason Alice Prentice had always welcomed sleep, but she suffered an insomniac’s dread of the time just before sleeping, the act of falling asleep itself, the perilous twilight of semi-awareness when the mind must struggle for coherence, when a siren or a cry in the street is the very sound of terror and the ticking of the clock is a steady reminder of death.

So, what’s you’re version of this?

He let the fingers of one hand splay out across the pocket of his shirt to show what a simple, physical thing the heart was; then he made the same hand into a fist.

Ain’t it the truth?

Some things you did were worth regretting; others not.

No one ever really pins this down though.

4443

[b]Jonathan Safran Foer

Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.[/b]

No, not yours.

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.

He thought: Still, why take a chance.

I love you also means I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.

Or: I did not love you. I may not have loved you. I loved you. I may not love you. I will not love you. Usually in that order.

Why didn’t I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future.

Of course these things are seldom able to be controlled.

I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live.

Or so they tell me.

It was not the feeling of completeness I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty.

And that can make all the difference in the world.

4444

Why are you posting in this thread when nobody is reading it?

4445

[b]Leo Tolstoy

We are all created to be miserable, and that we all know it, and all invent means of deceiving each other. And when one sees the truth, what is one to do?[/b]

Of course: Convince yourself that “in theory” it doesn’t have to be that way.

History would be a wonderful thing – if it were only true.

Now, what do you suppose that means, Mr. Objectivist?

He had the unlucky capacity many men have of seeing and believing in the possibility of goodness and truth, but of seeing the evil and falsehood of life too clearly to take any serious part in it.

Cue God. Among, for example, other things.

The study was slowly lit up as the candle was brought in. The familiar details came out: the stag’s horns, the bookshelves, the looking-glass, the stove with its ventilator, which had long wanted mending, his father’s sofa, a large table, on the table an open book, a broken ash-tray, a manuscript-book with his handwriting. As he saw all this, there came over him for an instant a doubt of the possibility of arranging this new life, of which he had been dreaming on the road. All these traces of his life seemed to clutch him, and to say to him: 'No, you’re not going to get away from us, and you’re not going to be different, but you’re going to be the same as you’ve always been; with doubts, everlasting dissatisfaction with yourself, vain efforts to amend, and falls, and everlasting expectations, of a happiness which you won’t get, and which isn’t possible for you.

Just out of curiosity: This ever happen to you?

How often we sin, how much we deceive, and all for what?..All will end in death, all!

Yeah, yeah, I know: Death is only the beginning.

The most mentally deranged people are certainly those who see in others indications of insanity they do not notice in themselves.

Obviously: That can’t be good.

4446

Well, to date, this thread has 225,315 views. I figure there is always the possibility at least some of these folks might actually read the quotes I post. In theory if nothing else.

Besides, I started this thread [along with film/music thread] for friends of mine both on and off-line.

Just out of curiosity, why did you click on it? To “thump” me again? :laughing:

4447

[b]Ken Kesey

All I know is this: nobody’s very big in the first place, and it looks to me like everybody spends their whole life tearing everybody else down.[/b]

Imagine if he could spend a few days here.

But it’s the truth even if it didn’t happen.

Or [for others]: But it’s not the truth even if it did happen.

To hell with facts! We need stories!

About, for example, the Gods.

That ain’t me, that ain’t my face. It wasn’t even me when I was trying to be that face. I wasn’t even really me then; I was just being the way I looked, the way people wanted.

Nothing unusual there, right?

What do you think you are, for Chrissake, crazy or somethin’? Well you’re not! You’re not! You’re no crazier than the average asshole out walkin’ around on the streets and that’s it.

Well, that wasn’t exactly true, was it?

They can’t tell so much about you if you got your eyes closed.

On the other hand, eventually you have to open them to see if they’re still looking.

4448

[b]Existential Comics

Here’s the thing about nihilism: it’s totally fucking stupid. Things matter. Obviously.[/b]

Okay, okay, I change my mind.
You know, for now.

If we ever meet aliens the first thing I’m going to ask them is to explain Hegel.

And then [of course] to explain the difference between left and right Hegelians.

Consciousness exists but has no causal force.
How’s that different from not existing?
It’s easier than explaining what it actually does.

Autonomously, for example.

Some philosophical theories might seem pretty stupid at first, but remember: reality might turn out to be something stupid. You don’t know.

I know what you’re thinking: Not that stupid.

According to David Lewis every possible world exists in reality. And yet, still none of them are any good.

Actually, we haven’t found them all yet.

As a kid they tell you smoking isn’t cool, but then you discover Camus and realize that was a lie…and also that life is pointless and absurd.

After all, what’s one without the other?

4449

[b]David Wong

Guys like him, the ones who grip the Bible so tight they leave fingernail grooves, they’re the ones who are the most scared of their dark side. Always going too far the other way, fighting for the Lord, often just because it gives them an excuse to fight.[/b]

In other words, not just the jihadis.

The thought of this girl actually being depressed made me want to grab the whole planet and throw it into the sun. Well, more than usual anyway.

More than usual. Exactly, right?

We’re talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?

I can’t think of anything. Well, maybe Turd debating me here: viewtopic.php?f=25&t=189516

The English language needs a word for that feeling you get when you badly need help, but there is no one you can call because you’re not popular enough to have friends, not rich enough to have employees, and not powerful enough to have lackeys.

Let’s think up one.

The human eye has to be one of the cruelest tricks nature ever pulled. We can see a tiny, cone-shaped area of light right in front of our faces, restricted to a very narrow band of the electromagnetic spectrum. We can’t see around walls, we can’t see heat or cold, we can’t see electricity or radio signals, we can’t see at a distance. It is a sense so limited that we might as well not have it, yet we have evolved to depend so heavily on it as a species that all other perception has atrophied. We have wound up with the utterly mad and often fatal delusion that if we can’t see something, it doesn’t exist. Virtually all of civilization’s failures can be traced back to that one ominous sentence: ‘I’ll believe it when I see it.’ We can’t even convince the public that global warming is dangerous. Why? Because carbon dioxide happens to be invisible.

I know: FUCK YOU, GOD!

Solving the following riddle will reveal the awful secret behind the universe, assuming you do not go utterly mad in the attempt. If you already happen to know the awful secret behind the universe, feel free to skip ahead.

So, how many of you did?

4450

[b]Michio Kaku

More recently, these electrodes have targeted a new area of the brain (called Brodmann’s area number 25) that is often overactive in depressed patients who do not respond to psychotherapy or drugs. Deep brain stimulation has given almost miraculous relief after decades of torment and agony for these long-suffering patients.[/b]

One more nail in the coffin? And you know what’s in it.

Consciousness turns out to consist of a maelstrom of events distributed across the brain. These events compete for attention, and as one process outshouts the others, the brain rationalizes the outcome after the fact and concocts the impression that a single self was in charge all along.

Okay, you tell me" Where does “I” fit into all of this?

There are an estimated 100 billion neurons residing inside the skull with an exponential amount of neural connections.

What about that, God? Or did You even have a choice?

…the back and center part of our brains, containing the brain stem, cerebellum, and basal ganglia, are almost identical to the brains of reptiles. Known as the “reptilian brain,” these are the oldest structures of the brain, governing basic animal functions such as balance, breathing, digestion, heartbeat, and blood pressure. They also control behaviors such as fighting, hunting, mating, and territoriality, which are necessary for survival and reproduction. The reptilian brain can be traced back about 500 million years.

What about that, God? Or did You even have a choice?

Social animals, on the other hand, are more intelligent than those with just a reptilian brain.

With obvious exceptions of course. And, no, not just here.

…most religions adhere to some form of determinism and predestination. Since God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, He knows the future, and hence the future is determined ahead of time. He knows even before you are born whether you will go to Heaven or Hell. The Catholic Church split in half on this precise question during the Protestant revolution. According to Catholic doctrine at that time, one could change one’s ultimate fate with an indulgence, usually by making generous financial donations to the Church. In other words, determinism could be altered by the size of your wallet.

And that all rhymes with [among other things] capitalism.

4451

[b]tiny nietzsche

Damn girl are you a nihilist because the rejection of religious and moral values in the belief that life is meaningless isn’t a viable plan[/b]

He thought: Why bring pragmatism into it?

Is that a load bearing neurosis?

Let’s put it this way: You’ll find out.

AP: zika hits new york; said virus “if I can make it here…”

Nihilist humor…

worst generation:
this one
the last one
the one before that

Obviously: Not counting all the ones to come.

that which does not kill you isn’t trying hard enough

He means you, Mr. Objectivist.

love me alone

And be quick about it.

4452

[b]William Gibson

The future is there…looking back at us. Trying to make sense of the fiction we will have become.[/b]

And more or less exactly, right?

When you want to know how things really work, study them when they’re coming apart.

Oh, and after you have put them back together.

Time moves in one direction, memory another. We are that strange species that constructs artifacts intended to counter the natural flow of forgetting.

So, how’s that working out for you?

I think I’d probably tell you that it’s easier to desire and pursue the attention of tens of millions of total strangers than it is to accept the love and loyalty of the people closest to us.

I think I’d probably agree. Well, not that I have much choice.

The street finds its own uses for things.

Mine might be the exception. And going on 13 years now.

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.

Or [here] Kids.

4453

[b]Hilary Mantel

Every time you go to see Hamlet you don’t expect it to have a happy ending…you’re still enthralled.[/b]

True story: I’ve never seen Hamlet. Unless I did and forgot.

So this morning–waking early, brooding on what Liz said last night–he wonders, why should my wife worry about women who have no sons? Possibly it’s something women do: spend time imagining what it’s like to be each other.

Of course men never do that.

He makes a gesture, designed to impersonate frankness.

She makes a gesture in turn, designed to impersonate deception.

He looks at Norris, exasperated. He seems to think that with eloquence, with sincerity, with frankness, he can change what is happening.

The fool!

Robespierre has never forgiven his friends the injuries he has done them, nor the kindnesses he has received from them, nor the talents some of them possess that he doesn’t.

We can guess what they are.

Come to that, don’t pay out good money for horoscopes. If things are going to go badly for you, is that what you need to know as you saddle up?

Besides, it’s all in the stars. Or at least the light coming from them.

4454

[b]so sad today

i hate when my friends are just spontaneously able to cope with life[/b]

Me too. If I had any.

your “positive energy” scares the shit out of me

In other words, fuck off.

everything’s getting worse: a love story

But there is a happy ending. You know the one.

i’m a worst case scenario

On purpose as it were.

just thought “my pussy is verified” and then “should i tweet that?” and then “no”

Her cat let’s hope.

i’m going to be nothing

In other words, not just eventually.

4455

[b]Penelope Lively

Language tethers us to the world; without it we spin like atoms.[/b]

For some though it basically pins them to the mat.

It seems to me that anyone whose library consists of a Kindle lying on a table is some sort of bloodless nerd.

Not that it ever occurs to them of course.

Forever, reading has been central, the necessary fix, the support system. Her life has been informed by reading. She has read not just for distraction, sustenance, to pass the time, but she has read in a state of primal innocence, reading for enlightenment, for instruction, even. … She is as much a product of what she has read as of the way in which she has lived; she is like millions of others built by books, for whom books are an essential foodstuff, who could starve without.

Not counting the other side of the coin for example.

I have no idea where I am going, she thought, but I have begun.

Hmm. Haven’t thought that now in years.

If we had not met, that day, I think I would have imagined you somehow.

Some of us still are. But, come on, what are the odds?

Giving presents is one of the most possessive things we do, did you realize that? It’s the way we keep a hold on other people. Plant ourselves in their lives.

Shit, even that’s ruined now.

4456

[b]Lena Dunham

Throughout the day I often ask myself, Could I fall asleep right now? and the answer is always a resounding yes.[/b]

Half naked of course.

I have been envious of male characteristics, if not the men themselves. I’m jealous of the ease with which they seem to inhabit their professional pursuits: the lack of apologizing, of bending over backward to make sure the people around them are comfortable with what they’re trying to do. The fact that they are so often free of the people-pleasing instincts I have considered to be a curse of my female existence.

Okay, but after we elect Hillary…

I didn’t know why this was happening. The cruel reality of anxiety is that you never quite do. At the moments it should logically strike, I am fit as a fiddle. On a lazy afternoon, I am seized by a cold dread.

Human psychology: Go figure.

Life is long, people change, I would never be foolish enough to think otherwise. But no matter what, nothing can ever be as it was. Everything has changed in a way that sounds trite and borderline offensive when recounted over coffee. I can never be who I was. I can simply watch her with sympathy, understanding, and some measure of awe.

Let’s file this one under, “thank god I’m not a celebrity!”

Here’s what I have to say about being married: someday you will look at him, hating him with every fiber of your being, wishing that he would die the most violent death possible. It will pass.

Then you move on to the next one.

I deserved to be treated like a piece of meat but also respected for my intellect.

Just not necessarily in that order.

4457

[b]Existential Comics

Why study philosophy?
Wittgenstein: to clarify thought
Plato: to live the good life
Marx: to change the world
Hume: mostly to piss off Kant[/b]

So, who got the last laugh?

Whenever I’m facing a dilemma, I think “what would Nietzsche do?”
But then Nietzsche is like, “think for yourself you goddamn sheep!”

He means you, asshole.

Rationality, for too many people, means reducing a complex situation to an absurdly simple abstract that has little to do with anything.

Pick any thread: knowthyself.forumotion.net/f6-agora

History of theories of consciousness:
1600: it’s a soul
1700: it’s a monad
1900: maybe it doesn’t exist
2000: quantum physics or some shit

At least we’re headed in either the right or the wrong direction.

On my tombstone I want it to say: “Loved by none, missed by few, annoying to many; but was right about pretty much everything.”

I know: That could be practically any of us.

1016: God will save us!
1516: Reason will save us!
2016: Technology will save us!
2516: None of that shit saved us.

If you’re around then let us know.

4458

[b]Rosa Luxemburg

Those who do not move, do not notice their chains.[/b]

One thing for sure: That hasn’t changed much.

Freedom is always, and exclusively, freedom for the one who thinks differently.

Provided you think differently the same as she does.

Being human means throwing your whole life on the scales of destiny when need be, all the while rejoicing in every sunny day and every beautiful cloud.

So, has anyone actually done that? Recently, I mean.

The most revolutionary thing one can do is always to proclaim loudly what is happening.

Followed closely by what ought to be happening instead.

Tomorrow the revolution will rise up again, clashing its weapons, and to your horror it will proclaim with trumpets blazing: I was, I am, I shall be!

We’re warning you Wall Street!!

What presents itself to us as bourgeois legality is nothing but the violence of the ruling class, a violence raised to an obligatory norm from the outset.

That’s sure to come up in the first Trump/Clinton debate

4459

[b]Jean Rhys

You can pretend for a long time, but one day it all falls away and you are alone.[/b]

Before God?

Today I must be very careful, today I have left my armor at home.

Figuratively as it were. Well, nowadays.

I would never be part of anything. I would never really belong anywhere, and I knew it, and all my life would be the same, trying to belong, and failing. Always something would go wrong. I am a stranger and I always will be, and after all I didn’t really care.

He thought: Words to live by.

There are always two deaths, the real one and the one people know about.

Though I won’t know about yours and you won’t know about mine.

And what does anyone know about traitors, or why Judas did what he did?

In other words, pick a narrative.

Something came out from my heart into my throat and then into my eyes.

By then all bets were off.

4460

Why not e-mail your friends instead?