a thread for mundane ironists

[b]Werner Twertzog

As a director, you have to know the human heart, and be willing to carve it free, still beating, and offer it, proudly, to the gods of cinema.[/b]

Let’s think of one.

Do not correct the foolish.

Put them on auto-correct instead.

If you sing to the bears, they will devour you with indifference nonetheless.

You and your girlfriend.

The will that has been broken and repaired is more beautiful than one that has never been so tested.

The will. Is that anything like the soul?

Those who can, do. Those who can’t, major in communication.

That or philosophy.

Thrown from the deck of a Norwegian ice-breaker, I encountered a great whale, and rode upon its back, into caverns of ice, brilliant blue, and ere long, as I renounced life once again, I was cast upon a sandy shore, bruised, beaten, yet freed, like Jonah, from worldly deceptions.

Not a documentary one suspects.

[b]Anaximander

The source from which existing things derive their existence is also that to which they return at their destruction. [/b]

Star stuff!! Only they didn’t call it that back then.

There are many worlds and many systems of Universes existing all at the same time, all of them perishable.

You know, as far as he knew.

The Earth is cylindrical, three times as wide as it is deep, and only the upper part is inhabited. But this Earth is isolated in space, and the sky is a complete sphere in the center of which is located, unsupported, our cylinder, the Earth, situated at an equal distance from all the points of the sky.

At least it’s closer than Scientology. Or astrology.

Immortal and indestructible, surrounds all and directs all.

Let’s call it God.

All Things are Full of God.

Or, as some insist, shit.

The undefined is divine because it is immortal and imperishable.

See, I told you.

[b]Heraclitus

The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become. [/b]

And then the part I suggest.

There is nothing permanent except change.

For example, from the cradle to the grave.

The world is nothing but a great desire to live and a great dissatisfaction with living.

For example, from the cradle to the grave.

No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.

This still isn’t understood.

If you do not expect the unexpected, you will not recognize it when it arrives.

You know, if you’re lucky.

Dogs bark at what they don’t understand.

Here, of course, Kids post.

[b]God

Time is money.
Money talks.
So time talks.
But talk is cheap.
So time is cheap.
But time is money.
So money is cheap.
Which it’s not.[/b]

God the philosopher. Or social critic.

Jesus asked Me to tell Kanye to fuck off.

Someone explain this please.

I genuinely am God. You can tell because I’m genuinely not helping you in any way.

Now that’s what I mean by demonstrable proof.

You won’t save yourselves because deep down you don’t want to.

Well, He is omniscient.

I have chosen Donald Trump to be President because I strongly dislike Western civilization and wish it to end.

Well, that is one possible explanation.

You are a device for your phone.

You meaning not me.

[b]Kathy Acker

The only reaction against an unbearable society is equally unbearable nonsense.[/b]

So, how am I doing, he asked.

If you ask me what I want, I’ll tell you. I want everything.

Next up: Asking her what she got.

Pain is the world. I don’t have anywhere to run.

In a word: oblivion.
At least I hope so.

]We don’t have a clue what it is to be male or female, or if there are intermediate genders. Male and female might be fields which overlap into androgyny or different kinds of sexual desires. But because we live in a Western, patriarchal world, we have very little chance of exploring these gender possibilities.

On the other hand, let’s not forget: “We’ve come a long way, baby.”

Well, I think writing is basically about time and rhythm. Like with jazz. You have your basic melody and then you just riff off of it. And the riffs are about timing.

Not counting Faust’s philosophy of course. :wink:

Literature is that which denounces and slashes apart the repressing machine at the level of the signified.

If only in our postmodern world.

[b]Phil Ochs

Step outside the guidelines of the official umpires and make your own rules and your own reality. [/b]

You know, if you’re “one of us”.

A protest song is a song that’s so specific that you cannot mistake it for bullshit.

You know, if you’re “one of us”.

I wonder who I left behind on the other side of fame.

Well, Bob Dylan for one.

God help the troubadour who tries to be a star. The more that you try to find success, the more that you will fail.

youtu.be/_bmUQMDrep0

Call it peace or call it treason
Call it love or call it reason
But I ain’t marching anymore

Unless of course you volunteer.

Mother Goose is on the loose
Stealing lines from Lenny Bruce

Procreating [among other things] flower children and hippies…

[b]God

You’re either part of the problem or the entire problem.[/b]

You may well have even caused it.

The President of the United States is insane.

What then does that tell us of his Creator?

The human race is at 2% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Remember back when it was just 1%?

Deep down in your soul, you need more money.

Now He tells us.

I don’t exist. What’s your excuse?

Sorry, but I don’t need one.

Want to honor veterans? Stop making them.

Though, sure, it’s too late for me.

[b]Abbie Hoffman

You measure a democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists. [/b]

So, how do we measure up here?
Pretty good. Not counting the Kids of course.

You are talking to a leftist. I believe in the redistribution of wealth and power in the world. I believe in universal hospital care for everyone. I believe that we should not have a single homeless person in the richest country in the world. And I believe that we should not have a C.I.A. that goes around overwhelming governments and assassinating political leaders, working for tight oligarchies around the world to protect the tight oligarchy here at home.

Wow, he thought, does that bring back memories.

Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger.

Of course back then PETA probably wasn’t around.

I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars.

You know, leaving aside the military industrial complex and the war economy.

Peace is a very complicated concept. When the lion gobbles up the lamb and wipes his lips, then there’s peace. Well, I ain’t for that peace at all.

Tell that to, among others, the ubermen.

The idea that media is there to educate us, or to inform us, is ridiculous because that’s about tenth or eleventh on their list.

In other words, show them the money.

[b]Douglas Adams

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore excused from saving universes.[/b]

Well, at least it’s genetic.

All through my life I’ve had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was.
No, said the old man, that’s just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that.

That’s probably genetic too.

Don’t believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose.

I suppose too.

Ford! he said, there’s an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they’ve worked out.

It had to happen eventually, right?

To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

He means THE problem of course.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

You know, on this planet.

[b]Bob Dylan

Pain sure does bring out the best in people, doesn’t it?[/b]

You know, ironically.

So now I’m going back again
I got to get her somehow
All the people we used to know
They’re an illusion to me now
Some are mathematicians
Some are carpenter’s wives
Don’t know how it all got started
I don’t what they’re doing with their lives
But me I’m still on the road Heading for another joint
We always did feel the same
We just saw it from a different point of view
Tangled up in Blue.

He’s just paraphrasing me of course.

You say you’ve lost your faith
But that’s not where it’s at
You have no faith to lose and you know it

That’s just the way it is on 4th Street.

People’s lives are filled with vice and the trappings of it. Ambition, greed and selfishness all have to do with vice. Sooner or later, you have to see through it or you don’t survive.

Or barely survive as the case may be.

I think a poet is anybody who wouldn’t call himself a poet.

Just for the sake of argument, let’s say that’s true for philosophers too.

Once I can focus in on something, I just play it in my mind until an idea comes from out of nowhere, and it’s usually the key to the whole song. It’s the idea that matters. It’s like electricity was around long before Edison harnessed it.

The rest being what it turned out to be, right?

[b]Jan Mieszkowski

Adorno: There is no right selfie in the wrong life.[/b]

Right, like that will stop them.

[b]Unsexiest Philosophy Halloween Costumes

  1. Trolley problem
  2. Prisoner’s dilemma
  3. Beetle in a box
  4. Whereof one cannot speak
  5. Martin Heidegger[/b]

And precisely in that order, right?

[b]Top Philosophy Halloween Costumes

  1. Sexy brain in a vat
  2. Sexy Schrödinger’s cat
  3. Sexy Occam’s razor
  4. Sexy body without organs
  5. Sexy the thing-in-itself[/b]

And precisely in the opposite order, right?

French Lit: Your nemesis is on the bridge.
German Lit: Your nemesis is the bridge.
Russian Lit: You threw your nemesis off the bridge.
American Lit: You are your own nemesis, but you got lost on the way to the bridge.

Next up: your best friend.

There is no right life in the wrong life. (Adorno)
There is no right or wrong life. (Nietzsche)
There is no right or wrong. (Thrasymachus)
There is no life. (Beckett)
There is no. (Hegel)
No. (Camus)

Thrasymachus?

It’s a little-known fact that Albert Camus was the aesthetic inspiration for Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs.

Either him or Donald Trump.

[b]Jack Finney

Have you ever given someone a book you enjoyed enormously, with a feeling of envy because they were about to read it for the first time, an experience you could never have again?[/b]

Works for music and films too.

Maybe I live in what is for me the wrong time.

Like there is ever a right time.

So all in all there wasn’t anything really wrong with my life. Except that, like most everyone else’s I knew about, it had a big gaping hole in it, an enormous emptiness, and I didn’t know how to fill it or even know what belonged there.

You know, the part before you die.

The human mind searches for cause and effect, always; and we all prefer the weird and thrilling to the dull and commonplace as an answer.

Until it becomes the other way around of course.

It may be that the strongest instinct of the human race, stronger than sex or hunger, is curiosity: the absolute need to know. It can and often does motivate a lifetime, it kills more than cats, and the prospect of satisfying it can be the most exciting of emotions.

For example, the absolute need to know things you can never actually find out.

As Einstein himself pointed out. He said we’re like people in a boat without oars drifting along a winding river. Around us we see only the present. We can’t see the past, back in the bends and curves behind us. But it’s there.

Next up: bends to the future.

[b]Existentiasl Comics

whenever people say “philosophy is useless” all you have to do is very smugly say “ahhhhh, but how do you know?” and they are soundly defeated[/b]

Do they know that?

If I were a Philosopher King, I would simply decree that the set of all sets that are not members of themselves does not, in fact, contain itself.

What if YOU were a Philosopher King?
A new thread perhaps?

i hate to admit it but of all the philosophers in history it is none other than Jean-Paul Sartre who would be most likely to slide into girls DMs

A little help with this one please.

Leave politics out of sports" they said, as a military jet flew over the stadium, and the American flag was unfurled on the field in a salute to our military bravely killing people overseas.

Pick one:
1] irony
2] hypocrisy

Philosophy is great because you get to examine questions like:
Do chairs exist?
Do numbers exist?
Do morals exist?
Do the bourgeoisie exist?
Do guillotines exist?

Anyone here actually know?

aristotle thought the path to happiness was virtue but that’s wrong it’s actually being super hot

Well, unless, of course, that’s wrong too.

[b]Erin Morgenstern

Good and evil are a great deal more complex than a princess and a dragon . . . [/b]

And, no, not just in fairy tales, Kids.

People don’t pay much attention to anything unless you give them reason to.

So, sure, why not make it a good one.

I couldn’t tell the difference between what was real and what I wanted to be real.

Among other things, welcome to the club.

And there are never really endings, happy or otherwise. Things keep going on, they overlap and blur, your story is part of your sister’s story is part of many other stories, and there is no telling where any of them may lead.

At least try to grasp the significance of this.

You prefer not to see the gears of the clock, as to better tell time.

Or, here, the premises to better accept the conclusion.

Trespassers Will Be Exsanguinated.

And, among other things, that will kill you.

[b]Neal Stephenson

Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world… Hiro used to feel this way, too, but then he ran into Raven. In a way, this was liberating. He no longer has to worry about being the baddest motherfucker in the world. The position is taken.[/b]

Here of course that would be Mr Reasonable.
Or you, right?

No linear indexing system is adequate to express the multi-dimensionality of knowledge, Dr. Waterhouse reminds him.

Tell that to, among others, Ecmandu.

For most of the day and night, time oppresses me. It is only when I am at work on the innards of a clock-or a lock-that time stops.
The clock stops, you mean.
No. Time stops, or so it seems. I do not sense its passage. Then something interrupts me-I become aware that my bladder is full, my mouth dry, my stomach rumbling, the fire’s gone out, and the sun’s gone down. But there before me on the table is a finished clock-" now suddenly a snicker from the mechanism, and a deft movement of his hands. "Or an opened lock.

Yes, more futile speculation about time.

I would say that the ability of people to agree on matters of fact not immediately visible—states of affairs removed from them in space and time—ramped up from a baseline of approximately zero to a pretty high level around the time of the scientific revolution and all that, and stayed there and became more globally distributed up through the Cronkite era, and then dropped to zero incredibly quickly when the Internet came along.

That’s close enough, isn’t it?

Reader, if you don’t know what a database is, rest assured that an explanation of the concept would in no way increase your enjoyment in reading this account.

Any databases here?

Do you reject the glamor of Evil, and refuse to be mastered by it?

Or, for some, Good.

[b]Existential Comics

the funniest refutation of Ayn Rand style individualism is that all the people who subscribe to that kind of “rational self interest” always seem to end up bitter and alone[/b]

Yeah, it’s hilarious.

[b]List of things people think are obviously true but at the same time don’t believe in the slightest:

  • that we have no free will.
  • that nothing matters.
  • that all taste is subjective.
  • that all we want is to be happy.
    No one believes any of these, although many think they do.[/b]

Any exceptions here perhaps?

How did lions become the symbol of bravery? They are the biggest and the strongest and they use that strength to eat the weaker animals. What exactly makes them brave??

Two words: Water. Buffalo.

Obama thinks “certain left-leaning twitter feeds” are “too far left” just because we want everyone to have healthcare, housing, food, and to rise up in a global proletarian revolution to wash away the oppression of the bourgeoisie and end class struggle once and for all, smh.

Is he a billionaire yet?

Immanuel Kant, trying to figure out if it is immoral to utter the sentence “this sentence is a lie.”

Let’s pin this down categorically

What is political freedom?
British philosophy: liberties not being infringed upon.
French philosophy: people’s participation in politics.
German philosophy: development of social consciousness.
American philosophy: a right wing coup selling off State assets to American companies.

One man’s opinion I’m thinking.

[b]Miles Davis

Keith, how does it feel to be a genius? [/b]

He means their Keith, not ours.

I can’t write anything for myself. I can write when I hear like Coltrane play something; I used to write chords and stuff for him to play in one bar. I can write for other people, but I don’t never write for myself.

Anyone here like that?

Tom Jones is funny to me, man. I mean, he really tries to ape Ray Charles and Sammy Davis, you know. He’s nice-looking; he looks good doing it. I mean, if I was him, I’d do the same thing. If I was only thinking about making money.

A black thing, he thought. Like with Elvis.

You can’t eat a winner’s plaque.

You have to sell it first.

Jazz musicians are so comfortable. The reason they can’t do what we do is because they’re so comfortable doin’ what they do.

Jazz philosophers too.

We’re not going to play the blues anymore. Let the white folks play the blues. They got 'em, so they can keep 'em.

How true do you think he thinks this is?

[b]Sharon Stone

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. [/b]

Here we go again: genes more or less than memes?

Men cannot stand the explosive mixture of beauty and intelligence.

All men of course. Absolutely no exceptions.

You can only sleep your way to the middle; you have to claw your way to the top.

Anyone claw their way to the top here?

To really achieve any level of greatness, you have to be willing to say yes no matter who says no, and to say no no matter who says yes.

Actually, it’s the other way around.

I’ve fallen in love with my horse. It’s a safer bet. We all know from my illustrious past that I should be sticking to men with four legs.

How about we not go there, okay?

I’m very old-fashioned. Occasionally I do wear underwear.

Let’s decide if that counts.

[b]Sad Socrates

The end of the day should stay where it is.[/b]

Though mine never does.

Love is bad for the environment.

Hate may well even be worse.

I’m fluent in don’t talk to me.

Me? I’m fluid in fuck off.

Tomorrow will take care of itself if you live for now.

Not our tomorrows of course.

You can train your mind to be less stressed.
And then train your mind not to care.
Eventually you can train your mind to die.

Or, sure, you can’t.

Anything is real if enough people die for it.

What would you die for, Kid?

[b]André Aciman

You’ll kill me if you stop.[/b]

Or, as often as not, if you don’t.

We belonged to each other, but had lived so far apart that we belonged to others now.

Yep, that’s how it can turn out of alright.

Whoever said the soul and the body met in the pineal gland was a fool. It’s the asshole, stupid.

No, really, where do they meet?

Fear not. It will come. At least I hope it does. And when you least expect it. Nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot.

As though it has a mind all its own.

At one hundred, surely you learn to overcome loss and grief—or do they hound you till the bitter end?

You know, if there even is an end.

If there is any truth in the world, it lies when I’m with you.

In, for example, a fairy tale.