a thread for mundane ironists

[iambiguous]

[b]so sad today

wish i could be deprogrammed to not be me[/b]

She means “me”. And that’s not even possible.

can’t tell if people know they are full of shit or have no clue

Wow, the same here!

what do you mean my thoughts are not an objective truth regarding the certainty that i am fucked

Yes, that is a tricky one.

home is where the anxiety is

My guess: especially these days.

if someone talks shit about everyone to you then they’re also talking shit about you to everyone

On the other hand, who could blame them?

i can’t, i’m self-sabotaging

She learned that from me.

[iambiguous]

[b]Wolfgang Pauli

The best that most of us can hope to achieve in physics is simply to misunderstand at a deeper level. [/b]

That can’t be right, he thought.
You know, being a philosopher.

I have done a terrible thing, I have postulated a particle that cannot be detected.

He wondered if that was still the case.

That’s not right. That’s not even wrong.

You take one side and I’ll take the other.

God made the bulk; the surface was invented by the devil.

Is it okay to ask what?

If speculative ideas cannot be tested, they’re not science; they don’t even rise to the level of being wrong.

Tell that to, say, you?

Physics is very muddled again at the moment; it is much too hard for me anyway, and I wish I were a movie comedian or something like that and had never heard anything about physics!

Let’s decide if that’s gotten better or worse.

[iambiguous]

[b]N.K. Jemisin

Who is to say plutonium is more powerful than, say, rice? One takes away a million lives, the other saves a hundred times as many.[/b]

Too close to call?

All that stuff about Father Earth, it’s just stories to explain what’s wrong with the world. Like those weird cults that crop up from time to time. I heard of one that asks an old man in the sky to keep them alive every time they go to sleep. People need to believe there’s more to the world than there is.

Indeed, look at the wacky shit we come across here.

But human beings, too, are ephemeral things in the planetary scale. The number of things that they do not notice are literally astronomical.

I might have noted that myself.

If the gods do decide to wipe us out, is it such a bad thing? Maybe we’ve earned a little annihilation.

That works for me.

The opposite of liking is not disliking, after all. The opposite of liking is apathy.

Well, that too.

As for the danger of alienating people with good intentions — well, one of the things that I learned from RaceFail was that people with good intentions are the ones to fear most. The overt racists are easy to deal with. You can spot them coming a mile away. But the well-intentioned people are scarier. They might not intend harm, but in most cases they haven’t thought about all the racist messages they’ve absorbed from society.

Of course most of the racists here are particularly overt.
Unless of course I’m wrong.

[iambiguous]

[b]so sad today

not in the mood for a pandemic[/b]

How about a little schadenfreude?

i can’t wait to tell you about my suffering

But first, of course, yours.

“i’m ashamed to be alive” me flirting with someone

Admittedly, it worked.

i always assume i’m totally fucked, just to be safe

Remember when she actually was?

did i take my antidepressants today? the musical!

Next up: Suicide, the romantic comedy.

masturbating for a better world

Let’s put it on youtube, he thought.

[iambiguous]

[b]Karl Kraus

To be sure, the dog is loyal. But why, on that account, should we take him as an example? He is loyal to man, not to other dogs. [/b]

So, is that something that matters?

Since the law prohibits the keeping of wild animals and I get no enjoyment from pets, I prefer to remain unmarried.

How clever is that, he wondered.

There are women who are not beautiful but only look that way.

If you know what he means.

A philistine is habitually bored and looks for things that won’t bore him. An artist finds things boring, but is never bored.

What’s that make a philosopher then?

My unconscious knows more about the consciousness of the psychologist than his consciousness knows about my unconscious.

I’ll have to run that by mine. Or, rather, I will when I have one. Maybe in the next life.

It is not true that one cannot live without a woman. It is simply that one cannot have lived without one.

I once almost nearly forgot to not believe this myself.

[iambiguous]

[b]Jeanette Winterson

In this life you have to be your own hero. [/b]

I tried that once myself.

For me, language is a freedom. As soon as you have found the words with which to express something, you are no longer incoherent, you are no longer trapped by your own emotions, by your own experiences; you can describe them, you can tell them, you can bring them out of yourself and give them to somebody else. That is an enormously liberating experience.

On the other hand…

Language always betrays us, tells the truth when we want to lie, and dissolves into formlessness when we would most like to be precise.

Now that’s more like it.

There are times when it will go so wrong that you will barely be alive, and times when you realise that being barely alive, on your own terms, is better than living a bloated half-life on someone else’s terms.

Barely alive on your own terms, obviously.

I find pieces of myself everywhere, and I cut myself handling them.

Shrapnel as it were.

…unhappy families are conspiracies of silence. The one who breaks the silence is never forgiven.

Let’s just say that I have more or less forgiven them than they have more or less forgiven me.

[iambiguous]

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“No, not rich. I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing.” Gabriel Garcia Marquez[/b]

Talk about needing a context!

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.” Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

Talk about perceptive!

“How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?” A Conan Doyle

If only in the either/or world.

“Never confuse movement with action.” Ernest Hemingway

Or, here, words with worlds.

“Fear is the mother of morality.” Friedrich Nietzsche

Cue, for example, the coronavirus.

"The secret of a good old age is simply an honorable pact with solitude.” Gabriel Garcia Marquez

You know, while you’re waiting for godot.

[iambiguous]

[b]William Styron from Sophie’s Choice

Is it best to know about a child’s death, even one so horrible, or to know that the child lives but that you will never, never see him again?[/b]

Let’s ask a philosopher?

…absolute evil paralyzes absolutely.

Theoretically for example.

…in modern times most of the mischief ascribed to the military has been wrought with the advice and consent of civil authority.

When you can tell them apart.

Sophie slept, understanding with a dreamer’s fierce clarity that she was doomed.

Any dreamers here demur?

And I realize how faulty were my own perceptions, how clumsily I handled the situation, with what lack of wit and with what ineffectiveness did I deal with Nathan at a moment when supreme delicacy was called for… far from my mind was any idea that Nathan might be disturbed. I thought he was merely being a colossal prick. I regarded Nathan’s outburst as a shocking failure of character, a lapse of decency, rather than the product of some aberration of mind.

Nathan the “nut” in other words. And how that piss me off.

Höss was hardly a sadist, nor was he a violent man or even particularly menacing. He might even be said to have possessed a serviceable decency.

Apparently, even Nazis come in all shapes and sizes.

[iambiguous]

[b]Nassim Nicholas Taleb

The more data we have, the more likely we are to drown in it. [/b]

So, how close are we to that here?

The irony of the process of thought control: the more energy you put into trying to control your ideas and what you think about, the more your ideas end up controlling you.

That’s fine with you, right Mr. Objectivist?

The person you are most afraid to contradict is yourself.

Of course that’s just me.

Debt is a mistake between lender and borrower, and both should suffer.

Like both ever do.

Umberto Eco is the owner of a large personal library of almost 30,000 books that he has not read. To him read books are far less valuable than unread ones.

Tell me that’s not rooted in dasein.

Only the autodidacts are free.

On the other hand, most of them are assholes. If I do say so myself.

[iambiguous]

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.” A Conan Doyle[/b]

I know: Let’s explore that here.

“Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.” Pablo Picasso

Unless the answers actually suffice.

“It’s enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment.” Gabriel Garcia Marquez

If, here, only virtually.

“As a historian, I have learned that, in fact, not everyone who reaches back into history can survive it. And it is not only reaching back that endangers us; sometimes history itself reaches inexorably forward for us with its shadowy claws.” Elizabeth Kostova

Damn, it would have to be that way.

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." Albert Einstein

You’re up, Mr. Objectivist.

“Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.” H. L. Mencken

Wow, but what if it really is still the best of all possible worlds?

[iambiguous]

[b]Iris Murdoch

The cry of equality pulls everyone down.[/b]

Well, after all, the meek shall inherit the Earth.

Art is the final cunning of the human soul which would rather do anything than face the gods.

You know, before there was only one of them.

No love is entirely without worth, even when the frivolous calls to the frivolous and the base to the base.

Including [here] the love of philosophy?

All art is the struggle to be, in a particular sort of way, virtuous.

If not always categorically and imperatively.

A middling talent makes for a more serene life.

And certainly a middling mind.

Our destiny can be examined, but it cannot be justified or totally explained. We are simply here.

Yo, God!

[iambiguous]

[b]Yogi Berra

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.[/b]

Let alone a quarter.

Anyone who understands Jazz knows that you can’t understand it.

Not unlike, say, determinism.

If people don’t want to come to the ballpark, how are you going to stop them?

Today we know how, don’t we?

Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

Let’s Trump that.

What time is it? You mean now?

Of course that was then.

If you don’t know where you’re going, when you get there you’ll be lost.

Unless perhaps that’s the point.

[iambiguous]

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“Those who are too lazy and comfortable to think for themselves and be their own judges obey the laws. Others sense their own laws within them.” Hermann Hesse[/b]

Let’s decide: Which is scarier?

“People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest.” Hermann Hesse

Take, for example, the Nazis.
Like they didn’t see themselves that way.

"The sad thing about artificial intelligence is that it lacks artifice and therefore intelligence.” Jean Baudrillard

Next up: the sad thing about human intelligence.

"Art does not die because there is no more art. It dies because there is too much,” Jean Baudrillard

Call this, say, the “soup can syndrome”.

"Illusion is no longer possible, because the real is no longer possible.” Jean Baudrillard

Let’s blame…Trump?

"Truth does not become more true by virtue of the fact that the entire world agrees with it, nor less so even if the whole world disagrees with it.” Maimonides

So, given that, is this true?

[iambiguous]

[b]Colum McCann

But being rational about it didn’t cure it.[/b]

Cure it? Hell sometimes being rational will cause it.

He didn’t like it all that much when he first came - all the rubbish and the rush - but it was growing on him, it wasn’t half bad. Coming to the city was like entering a tunnel, he said, and finding to your surprise that the light at the end didn’t matter; sometimes in fact the tunnel made the light tolerable.

That was before the coronavirus of course.

The conspiracy of women. We are in it together, make no mistake.

Genes then?

You’re manic-depressive and you’re manic-depressive too and you, you’re definitely manic-depressive, girl. And you over there in the corner, you’re just plain fucking depressive.

Before social distancing of course.

I suppose I’ve always known that it’s hard to be just one person.

If only all the way to the grave.

The true nature of a democracy is its ability to say yes when even the powerful say no.

He means no when the powerful say yes.

[iambiguous]

[b]Banksy

The art world is the biggest joke going. It’s a rest home for the overprivileged, the pretentious, and the weak. And modern art is a disgrace - never have so many people used so much stuff and taken so long to say so little.[/b]

Thank god we’re philosophers.

There’s nothing more dangerous than someone who wants to make the world a better place.

Not to worry, no one has ever accused me of that.

Bus stops are far more interesting and useful places to have art than in museums.

Not the ones around here.

The greatest crimes in the world are not committed by people breaking the rules but by people following the rules. It’s people who follow orders that drop bombs and massacre villages.

Unless of course they’re the good guys.

One Original Thought is worth 1000 Meaningless Quotes.

Or, here, posts.
Yo, Jacob!

Is graffiti art or vandalism? That word has a lot of negative connotations and it alienates people, so no, I don’t like to use the word ‘art’ at all.

If he does say so himself.

[iambiguous]

[b]Philosopnhy Tweets

“I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.” Umberto Eco[/b]

That and big piles of bullshit.

“To be truly ignorant, be content with your own knowledge.” Zhuangzi

Yo, Mr. Objectivist!

“You must be prepared to work always without applause.” Ernest Hemingway

Hey, that’s me. And, as you might imagine, not just here.

“He was just a coward and that was the worst luck any man could have.” Ernest Hemingway

Or the best luck.

“Knowledge is no guarantee of good behavior, but ignorance is a virtual guarantee of bad behavior.” Martha C. Nussbaum

What do you think…a context?

“If the feminine issue is so absurd, is because the male’s arrogance made it ‘a discussion’" Simone de Beauvoir

That’s men for you.

[iambiguous]

[b]Simon Critchley

I have argued that philosophy doesn’t begin in wonder or in the fact that things are, it begins in a realization that things are not what they might be. It begins with a sense of a lack, of something missing, and that provokes a series of questions. [/b]

He means serious philosophy of course.

It is so ridiculous to limit oneself to one version of the truth.

Unless of course there actually is only one.

Just to say “Well, God is dead” in one breath is to say, in another, that nothing means anything. This is the moment of nihilism. Nihilism is the affirmation of meaninglessness.

Essentially as it were.

For me philosophy begins with these experiences of disappointment: a disappointment at the level of what I would think of as “meaning,” namely that, given that there is no God, what is the meaning of life? And, given that we live in an unjust world, how are we to bring about justice?

Wow, he thought, does that take me back.

I’ve always been very keen on Pascal, and what I’m most keen on in Pascal is his emphasis upon human wretchedness. He has a phrase which goes something like ‘Anxiety, boredom and inconstancy, that is the human condition’ and I’ve always been very partial to that.

In other words, “very little, almost nothing”.

It’s complicated. On the one hand we’re killer apes, and on the other hand we have this metaphysical longing.

Simplify that, Mr. Objectivist.

[iambiguous]

[b]N.K. Jemisin

The look on her face is one of horror, or perhaps sorrow so great that it might as well be horror. Past a certain point, it’s all the same thing.[/b]

Plus, they rhyme.

Urgency and despair don’t get along well.

On the other hand, why should they?

Funny thing, employment. If you keep doing it, you keep getting paid.

Said the wage slave.

Fear was like poison to mortals; it killed their rationality.

For starters.

It was said that the gods favored fools because they were entertaining to watch.

Your God too, right?

Frightened people look for scapegoats.

Here? Pick a color. The darker the better.

[iambiguous]

[b]Nein

Just another pandemic Monday.[/b]

Just another pandemic Monday Tuesday.

Marx, Freud, and Nietzsche watch a White House press briefing.
Marx: Classic capitalism.
Freud: Classic Narcissism.
Nietzsche: Classic bullshit.

Obviously: too close to call.

Words would like to apologize for failing us, especially now. But they can’t.

How about it, one last try?

Marx, Freud, and Nietzsche are having a quarantine brunch and arguing about what makes for a good Bloody Mary.
Marx: As long as it’s red.
Freud: As long as it’s like my mother’s.
Nietzsche: As long as it’s strong. And if it doesn’t kill me, please make it stronger.

On the other hand, where are they now?

A gentle reminder from Adam Smith. Don’t worry. You’re in good invisible hands.

Well, what’s left of them.

Tolstoyevsky. Still my favorite Russian author.

Mine is still Turgogol.

[iambiguous]

[b]Karl Kraus

Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which it regards itself as therapy. [/b]

Brutal!

When I want to go to sleep, I must first get a whole menagerie of voices to shut up.

I hear that.
Cue the brandy.

If something is stolen from you, don’t go to the police. They’re not interested. Don’t go to a psychologist either, because he’s interested in only one thing: that it was really you who did the stealing.

So, go to a philosopher?

Language is the only chimera whose illusory power is endless, the inexhaustibility which keeps life from being impoverished. Let men learn to serve language.

Can it really be as grim as that? Or does it barely scratch the surface?

Newspapers have roughly the same relationship to life as fortune-tellers to metaphysics.

Their newspapers, not ours.

The trouble with Germans is not that they fire shells, but that they engrave them with quotations from Kant.

I thought it was Nietzsche. Or is it still too close to call?