a thread for mundane ironists

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9281

[b]Existential Comics

Capitalism requires infinite growth or it collapses. It cannot solve climate change, ever. End of discussion.[/b]

Or the beginning of the next one.

the worst part about twitter is that there are other people on here

Wow! Just like here!!

this might shock a lot of people, but i looked it up and apparently any country can just call themselves the “land of the free” even if their police are oppressive and they imprison more people than anyone else on earth.

Uh, define free?

[b]What I’ve learned from studying philosophy:

  • always stay humble in what you claim to know
  • scrutinize your own ideas the hardest
  • communism will win
  • always keep learning, there is always more to know[/b]

Which one doesn’t fit?

under communism commas will be abolished and we will finally be free of bourgeois spelling grammar and punctuation

He means semi-colons of course.

Often I think that life is nothing but a random, bleak existence with no purpose or meaning.

Or not often enough.

9282

[b]Sally Mann

I like to make people a little uncomfortable. It encourages them to examine who they are and why they think the way they do.[/b]

You tell me: google.com/search?source=un … 66&bih=625

The things that are close to you are the things you can photograph the best.

Wow, who would have thought that.

It’s always been my philosophy to try to make art out of the everyday and ordinary…it never occurred to me to leave home to make art.

Art being anything these days.

Unless you photograph what you love, you’re not going to make good art.

Art being anything these days.

I think truth is a layered phenomenon. There are many truths that accumulate and build up. I am trying to peel back and explore these rich layers of truth. All truths are difficult to reach.

Of course here they’re a dime a dozen.

Like all photographers, I depend on serendipity. I pray for what might be referred to as the angel of chance.

Luck as some call it.

9283

[b]Doth

I just want to be rich enough where I never have to be seen in public again.[/b]

Not counting the internet of course.

In honor of some guy dying for our sins I am going to continue to fucking sin.

“See you in Hell, Johnny!”

I’m in a threesome with death and being alive.

Fucked and then some.

I identify as a plant, occasionally give me water & just leave me alone.

Like these guys: google.com/search?source=un … 66&bih=625

A great April Fool’s day prank would be to get lost in the woods & never be seen again.

Maybe next year.

Be the reason why evangelical republicans clutch their bible when they look at you.

Unless, of course, they’re packing.

9284

[b]Marina Abramovic

When you have a nonverbal conversation with a total stranger, then he can’t cover himself with words, he can’t create a wall.[/b]

In other words, whatever that means.

You know, art is very emotional business. But mostly it becomes not emotional, the fabric of commodity. It becomes business. It becomes so many different things. Because we forgot there was emotion involved.

We don’t call it capitalism for nothing.

I just want to create situations where people forget time.

Cue the Grim Reaper.

The hardest thing to do is something that is close to nothing.

Cue Simon Critchley?

An artist should not fall in love with another artist.

Or: An artist should only fall in love with another artist.

To me the pain and the blood are merely means of artistic expression.

Besides, the show must go on.

9285

[b]God

I created DNA mainly to solve crimes.[/b]

I knew it!

Once you die that’s it.

I knew it!

One way or another, people keep leaving the royal family.

Okay, but she’s still around.

Facebook is down.
That’s a good start.

Isn’t that just a cliche now?

Reality poses an existential threat to social media.

Actually, it’s the other way around.

Male, female, nonbinary, transgender: at the end of the day, everyone’s preferred pronoun is “I”.

Or, for some here, “it”

9286

[b]Napoleon Bonaparte

Friends must always be treated as if one day they might be enemies.[/b]

Not counting best friends forever of course.

The Jews are the master robbers of the modern age.

What do you suppose he meant by that, Kids?

Men who have changed the world never achieved their success by winning the chief citizens to their side, but always by stirring the masses.

You know, that might actually be true.

The stupid speak of the past, the wise of the present, and fools of the future.

Any fools here?

An order that can be misunderstood, will be misunderstood.

Or, here, a post.

Half of the people in the world are below average.

And most of them are here.

9287

[b]God

America: where minorities, for good reason, fear getting shot, and white people, for no reason, fear getting shots.[/b]

Well, He is God, right?

Love thy neighbor as thyself, assholes.

Not here of course.

One of these days someone should start a religion based entirely on the teachings of Jesus Christ in the New Testament.

Get it?

I hope you’ve all learned some lessons from this pandemic, because I’m warning you: I sure have.

In other words, He’s already working hard on the next virus.

The things some people find believable are unbelievable.

Well, they are pinheads after all.

He is risen.
And he is PISSED

Hell, who wouldn’t be.

9288

[b]George Saunders

. . . Absurdism was really just realism seen from close to the bottom.[/b]

And not just of the barrel.

Trap. Horrible trap. At one’s birth it is sprung. Some last day must arrive. When you will need to get out of this body. Bad enough. Then we bring a baby here. The terms of the trap are compounded. That baby also must depart. All pleasures should be tainted by that knowledge. But hopeful dear us, we forget. Lord, what is this?

We’ll forget that too.

At precisely nine in the morning, working with focus and stealth, our entire membership succeeded in simultaneously beheading no one… not a single one of us blew himself/herself up in a crowded public place… in addition, zero (0) planes were flown into buildings. All this was accomplished so surreptitiosly, it attracted little public notice.

Well, as the song says, people are strange.

I was back to feeling myself which, believe me, is no picnic.

Tell me ablout it! Right?

…graduate college, win Pam, get job, make babies, move ahead in job, forget former feeling of special destiny…

And then dying of course.

The mind, it occurs to me, is an engine. There is an ambient mode in which the mind sits idling, before there is information. Some minds idle in a kind of dreading crouch, waiting to be offended. Others stand up straight, eyes slightly wide, expecting to be pleasantly surprised. Some minds, imaging the great What Is Out There, imagine it intends doom for them; others imagine there is something out there that may be suffering and in need of their help.
Which is right?
Neither.
Both.
Maybe all of our politics is simply neurology writ large. Maybe there are a finite number of idling modes. Maybe there are just two broad modes, and out of this fact comes our current division.

Or maybe it’s all just wholly determined.

9289

[b]tiny nietzsche

love will deconstruct us apart again[/b]

Postmodern love as it were.

my coffee sees right through me

But only at Starbucks.

just checked my messages and apparently I’m dead

At last! Proof of the afterlife!!

that yggdrasil really tied the room together

This thing: google.com/search?source=un … 66&bih=625

big ich liebe dich energy

Me? big ich hasse dich energy
You know, the Kids.

my horoscope says why bother

If only 12 signs a year.

9290

[b]Holly Black

I have lied and I have betrayed and I have triumphed. If only there was someone to congratulate me.[/b]

I’ll need a context of course.

Changing is what people do when they have no options left.

And even then only if they can. And if others let them.

Let’s have a toast. To the incompetence of our enemies.

Our “foes” here. You know, the pinheads.

If you’re the sickness, I suppose you can’t also be the cure.

No, but you might fool them.

Kill him before he makes you love him.

Hard to actually pin down when though.

Every hero is the villain of his own story.

I know that I am.

9291

[b]tiny nietzsche

I saw an invertebrate yesterday and I thought of you[/b]

That can’t be good.

I’ve always enjoyed not doing things

And then not doing them again and again.

we could be nihilists, just for one day

So, grow a pair and get back to me.

being vaccinated does not mean you exist

Anymore than not being vaccinated.

no one walks into a bar

And it won’t be the first time.

plague before beauty

Naturally?

9292

[b]Emily Dickinson

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.[/b]

You tell me.

Nature is a haunted house–but Art–is a house that tries to be haunted.

You tell me.

If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.

Nope, not yet.
Maybe yours?

Forever is composed of nows.

Until, one day, you run out of them.

That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.

She means agonizing of course.

To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.

Sure, I might understand what she means by that.

9293

[b]tiny nietzsche

I need a dogma that won’t drive me crazy[/b]

Let’s invent one.

quoth the raven “whatever”

Wouldn’t be the same though, would it?

reject all religious and moral principles because life is meaningless, daddy

Next up: daddy’s reaction.

the girl with the nietzsche tattoo

You know where.

delete your abyss

Until one day it deletes you.

form follows fiction

Yo, Ayn!

9294

[b]Ruth Benedict

The purpose of anthropology is to make the world safe for human differences.[/b]

Well, that didn’t work.

The crucial differences which distinguish human societies and human beings are not biological. They are cultural.

Yo, Satyr! Memes!!

We do not see the lens through which we look.

No, really, think about it.

No man ever looks at the world with pristine eyes. He sees it edited by a definite set of customs and institutions and ways of thinking.

See, didn’t I tell you?

The life-history of the individual is first and foremost an accommodation to the patterns and standards traditionally handed down in his community. From the moment of his birth the customs into which he is born shape his experience and behavior. By the time he can talk, he is the little creature of his culture, and by the time he is grown and able to take part in its activities, its habits are his habits, its beliefs his beliefs, its impossibilities his impossibilities.

See, didn’t I tell you?

The trouble with life isn’t that there is no answer, it’s that there are so many answers.

We’ll need an actual question though.

9295

[b]so sad today

if you like pussy eating, you’ll love my oeuvre[/b]

To wit:

-Milk Fed (a pussy eating buffet)
-The Pisces (acute & pervasive pussy eating)
-So Sad Today (solid quantity of pussy eating)
-Superdoom (coming this summer, fair amount of pussy eating, but often metaphoric)

Pussy eating galore, sure.

not in the mood for a pandemic

Let alone a fake pandemic.

nothing good happens out of bed

Actually, that’s not entirely true.

imagine thinking you are right about anything

Or, if you’re a Kid, wrong about anything.

being alive feels like a problem

Perhaps because it so often is.

9296

_
Da f?

9297

_
Eating pussy, right?

On the other hand, to the best of my knowledge, she’s into astrology.

9298

_
…as you were. =;

9299

_
Da f?

9300

It’s all fun and games, until somebody gets hurt…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rM8Fxd9svzA[/youtube]