a thread for mundane ironists

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9961

[b]God

I just hate these fucking motherfuckers so fucking much.[/b]

The pinheads I’m guessing.

If you would like to be sent to hell immediately, tell Me how you did at Wordle today.

The latest idiotic pop culture craze, I’m figuring.

I never would have made you this smart if I knew you were going to be this stupid.

So much for omniscience, right?

Creating the universe was a cry for help.

To the Buddha, perhaps.

Sometimes in life all you need is for half the country to shut up.

Just out of curiosity, anyone here know which half?

When the unvaccinated go to the hospital they should be treated, but also yelled at continuously.

If not beaten a time or two.

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[b]Fernando Pessoa

The essence of what I desire is simply this: to sleep away life.[/b]

[i]Pick one:

1] a philosophy of life
2] a mood you’re in[/i]

Ah, what a morning this is, awakening me to life’s stupidity.

And, believe it or not, not just here.

What is art but the denial of life?

Not counting pop art of course.

The superiority of the dreamer is that dreaming is much more practical than living, and that the dreamer extracts from life a much vaster and varied pleasure than the action man. In better and more direct words, the dreamer is the real action man.

In other words, would that this could be true.

Lord, may the pain be ours
And the weakness that it brings
But at least give us the strength
Of not showing it to anyone!

A prayer he could live with.

I asked for very little from life, and even this little was denied me.

In other words, his consent was violated.

9963

[b]tiny nietzsche

normalize not talking to me[/b]

Hmm. What should we normalize here?

that atlas shrugged really tied the conspiracy together

You know, if you’re a capitalist.

some of my best friends are imaginary

Or the next best thing: virtual.

battle not with fucks, lest ye become a fuck

And god knows how many fucks there are here.

two broken hearts beat as less than one

If they beat at all.

the first trick to making good french toast is send your tanks around the maginot line into belgium

Your turn to Google it.

9964

[b]Liv Ullmann

The best thing that can come with success is the knowledge that it is nothing to long for.[/b]

How dumb is that, he wondered.

We who are alive at this moment are only an infinitesimal part of something that has existed for eternity and will continue when there is no longer anything to show that earth existed. Still, we must feel and believe that we are all.

They don’t call it philosophy for nothing.

…it is only in statistics that people die by the millions. Each person dies individually, in his own predicament.

Fact is, she’s still waiting for her own.

Hollywood is loneliness beside the swimming pool.

Of course.

There is a difference between film and digital. Because digital, you know, it’s perfect and whatever. But with film, you get depth. You get subject.

I still don’t know the difference myself.

I realize that we’ve come to a different way of showing movies. But I’m still with the old ways, and I can’t change.

Like the old way of doing philosophy here.

9965

[b]so sad today

caught in a love triangle between my bed and going outside[/b]

Or, for some, getting out of bed at all.

transcending the illusion of separateness but from a distance

And here trust me: practice really does make perfect. Or less imperfect.

giving up is the best

I started with everything altogether.

can’t go back to my old therapist because i wrote about her in a novel

Who hasn’t had that happen to them.

what if i accept myself and am rejected by everyone else

That’s the whole point though.

because i’m a poet, fuckface

No, really, fuckface, she is.

9966

[b]Judy Garland

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.[/b]

You know, if you’re not fractured and fragmented.

We cast away priceless time in dreams, born of imagination, fed upon illusion, and put to death by reality.

I know that I have.

Give the people what they want and then go have a hamburger.

And not just somewhere over the rainbow.

When you have lived the life I’ve lived, when you’ve loved and suffered, and been madly happy and desperately sad – well, that’s when you realize you’ll never be able to set it all down. Maybe you’d rather die first.

Me? Still too close to call.

Behind every cloud is another cloud.

And then, for some, clouds all the way up…all the way down

To let a fool kiss you is bad…To let a kiss fool you is worse.

Next up: to let a fool fuck you.

9967

[b]so sad today

tired or dying? the eternal question[/b]

Next up: the eternal answer.

listen, we all handle the emptiness of reality differently

Next up: what we fill it with.

oops, forgot to conform to your excessive moralism

Take that, Mr. Fulminating Fanatic Pinhead!

we’re all good and evil, goodnight and good luck

We hear that more and more these days, I know.

sometimes buying shit works for 5 seconds

Anyone here buy shit?

i miss when i was chillin in the womb

Or when I was a “Hershey bar in my father’s back pocket”.

9968

[b]Steven Pinker

I think about how language works so I can best explain how language works.[/b]

My guess: we’ll need a context.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

True. And then this part: the early worm gets eaten.

When it comes to explaining human thought and behavior, the possibility that heredity plays any role at all still has the power to shock. To acknowledge human nature, many think, is to endorse racism, sexism, war, greed, genocide, nihilism, reactionary politics, and neglect of children and the disadvantaged.

Yep, for some, that’s exactly what is endorsed.

As you are reading these words, you are taking part in one of the wonders of the natural world. For you and I belong to a species with a remarkable ability: we can shape events in each other’s brains with exquisite precision.

Next up: the considerably less exquisitely precise parts.

Jerry Seinfeld once remarked that today’s athletes churn through the rosters of sports teams so rapidly that a fan can no longer support a group of players. He is reduced to rooting for their team logo and uniforms: “You are standing and cheering and yelling for your clothes to beat the clothes from another city".

Keep them doped with sports, he always said. The idiotic Super Bowl for example.

The shocking truth is that until recently most people didn’t think there was anything particularly wrong with genocide, as long as it didn’t happen to them.

How recently, he wondered.

9969

[b]sad socrates

I’m only here to support advertisers.[/b]

Super Bowl Half Time just around the corner for the sports idiots here, he reminded them.

[b]A One Step Guide to Understanding Humanity:

  1. We tried but we failed[/b]

Miserably some insist.

[b]A One Step Guide to Surviving Tomorrow:

  1. Think about yesterday[/b]

Or, if you can, before you were born.

Funny how you can lose your mind but not your sense of humor

Not funny “ha ha” though. The other funny.

I miss something that never existed.

In fact, it might never exist at all.

I can’t even remember all the things I didn’t want to do.

If I paid you, would someone here remind me?

9970

[b]Yuval Noah Harari

How do you cause people to believe in an imagined order such as Christianity, democracy or capitalism? First, you never admit that the order is imagined. You always insist that the order sustaining society is an objective reality created by the great gods or by the laws of nature.[/b]

My guess: that’ll never stop working.

So perhaps happiness is synchronizing one’s personal delusions of meaning with the prevailing collective delusions. As long as my personal narrative is in line with the narratives of the people around me, I can convince myself that my life is meaningful, and find happiness in that conviction.

That would include so many here, for example.

Modern business-people and lawyers are, in fact, powerful sorcerers. The principal difference between them and tribal shamans is that modern lawyers tell far stranger tales.

Next up: all those dumb enough to believe them.

In the past, censorship worked by blocking the flow of information. In the 21st century, censorship works by flooding people with irrelevant information.

What, even on the internet?!

When we break down our prison walls and run towards freedom, we are in fact running into the more spacious exercise yard of a bigger prison.

Tell us all about your own, okay?

In a world in which everything is interconnected, the supreme moral imperative becomes the imperative to know.

Know what exactly, he was impertinent enough to ask.

9971

[b]Philosophy tweets

“Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, it is at least an increase in knowledge if he knows what it is not.” Carl Jung[/b]

Not counting your mistakes, Mr. Pinhead.
Or, rather, I wouldn’t count them.

“I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom.” Bob Dylan

Tell that to the fat cats at Sony.

“What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” Bob Dylan

You know, like the fat cats at Sony.

“Changes and progress very rarely are gifts from above. They come out of struggles from below.” Noam Chomsky

Just not like they used to.

“If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion.” Noam Chomsky

Or, sure, let others choose for you.

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

On the other hand, revenge is sweet.

9972

[b]Emile M. Cioran

We are afraid of the enormity of the possible.[/b]

I know that I am. Or, rather, what’s left of it.

When every man has realized that his birth is a defeat, existence, endurable at last, will seem like the day after a surrender, like the relief and the repose of the conquered.

Would you settle for kind of?

One cannot live without motives. I have no motives left, and I am living.

Yo, godot! Explain that.

I live only because it is in my power to die when I choose to: without the idea of suicide, I’d have killed myself right away.

You grasp this or you don’t.

Wherever we go, we come up against the human, a repulsive ubiquity before which we fall into stupor and revolt…

Being one of them himself.

Between the demand to be clear, and the temptation to be obscure, impossible to decide which deserves more respect.

But, fuck it, he thought, and clicked on submit.

9973

[b]Philosophy tweets

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”Mahatma Gandhi[/b]

:laughing:
Right?

"Our moral traditions developed concurrently with our reason, not as its product. " Friedrich August von Hayek

Of course here he is only paraphrasing Ayn Rand paraphrasing Aristotle. Or, admittedly, the other way around in the multiverse.

“Philosophy is an act of living.” Plutarch

You know, up in the clouds.

“It was through philosophy, he said, that he had come to be surprised at nothing.” Plutarch

Or overwhelmed by everything.

“Fate leads him who follows it, and drags him who resist.” Plutarch

Your context will do.

“Sometimes it’s not enough to know what things mean, sometimes you have to know what things don’t mean.” Bob Dylan

Or, for me, mean to you but not to them.

9974

I feel that.

Pretty sure they nixxed Dylan. And many others.

Payback’s a biiiiiiiiiiitch.

Jk. I have no idea what I’m saying.

9975

Luckily, this thread was actually created for inane bullshit like yours. :animals-chickencatch:

9976

Hm. I was enjoying it until I contributed. Way to go, self!

9977

[b]Ridley Scott

There’s a little thing on your shoulder called intuition and it whispers in your ear. Everyone has that, there is a voice telling you to do something. Most people ignore it - but you must listen to it. I do it every day, all day.[/b]

Of course he’s only paraphrasing Maia.

I’m not criticizing Hollywood because I work there, I partly live there. But I’m saying this is the way it is, commerce is taking over art. Commerce has become the most important thing in the film industry. Hollywood is an industry, it’s not an art form, therefore they have to address the bottom line. But in a way it’s sad when you get a remake, isn’t it?

Two fucking words: Sundance Channel.

I want to make films about the human condition, what we’re doing to the world or ourselves.

You tell me: rottentomatoes.com/celebrity/ridley_scott

How can you look at the galaxy and not feel insignificant?

Then this part: how can the galaxy look at the universe and not feel insignificant

Blade Runner was the godfather of all these fantastic movies that occur today. What’s frustrating is that we’re short of really great writing and great ideas. Blade Runner was full of them.

Compared to, say, all the idiotic Star Wars movies.

Nowadays, everything’s evolved into superheroes and it’s boring. If I see one more superhero movie I’m going to shoot myself.

Yeah, all those idiotic superhero movies too.

9978

[b]Philosophy Tweets

“All I can do is be me, whoever that is.” Bob Dylan[/b]

Coming to a commercial near you.

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.” Mark Twain

Next up: Jaywalking.

“I’m a pessimist because of intelligence, but an optimist because of will. The old world is dying, and the new world struggles to be born; now is the time of monsters.” Antonio Gramsci

Our “now” for example.

“What comes to pass does so not so much because a few people want it to happen, as because the mass of citizens abdicate their responsibility and let things be.” Antonio Gramsci

He wondered if that was still true.

“The challenge of modernity is to live without illusions and without becoming disillusioned.” Antonio Gramsci

We’re fucked, in other words.

“Autobiography is a wound where the blood of history does not dry.” Gayatri Chakravorty Spivak

You tell me.

9979

[b]Jose Ortega y Gasset

Rancor is an outpouring of a feeling of inferiority.[/b]

Not my rancor, he boasted.

The people with the clear heads are the ones who look life in the face, realize that everything in it is problematic, and feel themselves lost. And this is the simple truth: that to live is to feel oneself lost.

Need I say more?

Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.

Like hell, for example.

Living is a constant process of deciding what we are going to do.

Or letting others tell you.

Civilization is nothing else but the attempt to reduce force to being the last resort.

And, he suspected, not just on this planet.

I am I plus my circumstances.

That and actual options.

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[b]Philosophy Tweets

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” Marcus Aurelius[/b]

Well, maybe death a little.

“I didn’t know what Facebook was, and now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time.” Betty White

Next up: what she didn’t know about The New ILP.

“Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal.” Arthur Schopenhauer

Of course, there’s change before and then after you die.

“Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.” Arthur Schopenhauer

And, as ithicus77 makes clear, every woman no doubt.

“Indeed, the whole of our society may be likened to a black comedy; and this is why a man who is worth anything finds society so insipid.” Arthur Schopenhauer

I know that I do. And then some.

“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone, and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom, for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.” Arthur Schopenhauer

He’s just paraphrasing me of course.