Bananas are shaped like penises
and there was once this man
who loathed eating bananas…
He hated eating bananas
in their phallic form
as he put it
so everytime he had to eat a banana ,
such as, when it was the only fruit in the basket,
he would peel it quickly holding it like a dirty nappy
then, using a sharp knife, he would slice the entire
banana into little discs and eat them one at a time
‘like a sweetie’ he said.
‘and not like a penis at all’
This gave him some feeling of security.
He claimed that women
loved to eat bananas
and that a banana
was naturally for women.
and that any men who
ate bananas without
slicing them into little discs
was ‘highly suspicious’
and therefore could not be trusted
in work or marriage or accountancy
after a long period of time
this man was drawn or rather called
to form a small Guid called
Men against bananas eaten in the phallic state
Their primary aim was to stop
all men from eating bananas in
their true penis like form.
They wanted to encourage
men to slice their bananas
and thus free themsleves
from the inherent automatic
homo-sexuality of eating
a banana in its truest shape…
in short,
they surmised that
bananas imposed
upon the eater
certain unconscious
homosexual suggestions
which imposed covertly
upon the mind the desire
to suck cock!
the man was immediately
supported by Evangelists,
old men selling biblical tracts,
the institute of absolute masculinity,
and real men are not effeminate.co.uk
business comapnies became interested in
the possible “marketing benefits”
of sliced banana, of dried banana,
of freeze dried banana, in short,
of the non-phallic banana
within a year after many long
talks and phone calls
about cash flow decisions
and consultation with
certain Third World Countries
such as Latin America and West Africa
regarding the export and import
of bananas and confirming the
agreement to re-shape the banana
it was agreed that
from a number of
countries bananas would be
sliced before leaving shore
then delivered throughout
the world in sliced form.
it took consumers
some time before
succumbing
to the sliced banana
and doing away with
the old phallic
style banana
which oppressed
men with its
latent homosexual
shape and form
and the homosexuality
of the act of eating
and devouring
the phallic banana
itself.
the man became
very famous and
very rich very quickly
and he was hailed
throughout many parts
of the world for taking the
cock out of banana
he aims to do the same
with carrots, parsnips,
and perhaps even house
hold goods…
“the phallus is not a
sign of male domination
but of masked homosexuality”
- his maxim!
this then was the strange story
of the man who made
sure that bananas
would never be
eaten in their
true form again
because it reminded him
of his own manhood
