Ad-Hominem - Why I did it…
- I think it’s funny…
- They did it first…
- Those who are stupid need to be told…
- To make myself feel better…
- It helps me win arguements…
[size=150]Ad-Hominem, A Cautionary tale…[/size]
Wait, don’t tell me: You’re Angry.
- Let me guess, something like this has happened…
*Some utter bastard on the forums has just called you a &%!!?? ,
or possibly a %!!##**.
*Some utter bastard on the forums absolutely will not admit that you are totally, completely and otherwise 100%… Right.
*Some utter bastard has just written rings around your last post, and you are tearing your hair out BECAUSE YOU JUST CANNOT FIND THE ARGUEMENT TO BEAT HIM/HER.
And so, all lined up and ready to go in the reply window, you have got a character assassination, deadly, accurate and devastating. Your finger’s on the [[size=84]Submit[/size]] button… You’ll show that son-of-a-bitch who’s wrong.
[size=150][b]Wait.
Think.[/b][/size]
And answer these questions:
-
If I let that insult go, is my ego so fragile that it will collapse like a pack of cards…?
-
If that person, for whatever reason, will not acknowledge the rightness, or at least the quality, of my points - will my calling them an asshole, however figuratively, change their mind…? Will it make them any more of an asshole than they already are…?
-
Is this the best I can do…? Isn’t my screaming abuse, in reality, just me saying “Boo-hoo, you win.”
Still mad…? Of course you are.
And the answers to all of the above questions is:
“No, but it’ll make me feel better.”
Okay, I’ve been there, and if you know me at all, you’ll know I bought the tee-shirt, the novelty mug, and the souvenier tea-towel too.
And what has this addiction to Ad-Hominem got me…? look at that post count in the corner… I’d say between a third and a half of those posts contain an insult somewhere. I could never just be right, I had to be right and nasty with it.
As a consequence, I spend more of my ILP time talking to people I dislike, rather than the people I would like to talk to.
In the heat of the moment, you may forget a couple of things.
- Even a complete bastard can be right sometimes, in ignoring this - it is you who becomes the fool. Post “You are right.” even if you have to add “Even though I don’t like you.” on the end. I promise you, you’ll feel better. And if they post back. “Of course I’m right, you feebleminded dickhead…” Afterward, don’t reply. Why…? Because nine times out of ten, someone else will come along, and take offence in your stead. Leaving you both the moral high-ground, and the pleasure of seeing your opponent squirm. A double-whammy.
*Insulting someone, especially if you really stick the knife in, is, oddly enough, like telling someone you love them. You forge a bond. It shows them that they got under your skin, that you think them important enough to bother spending x amount of your precious time writing, and dedicate it to them. It puts you into a relationship with someone that you don’t like. You post “dickhead”. They post “imbecile”. You post “asshole”. They post “your mother”. It won’t stop. They will follow you around the threads where they see your name. Sick-Puppy syndrome. They know they will get some attention from you. No publicity is bad publicity in their book. Don’t go there, don’t give it to them.
*“Do not fight with monsters”. Know when to stop. Knowing when to stop is your greatest advantage over someone who quite literally - can’t. If you’re in an Ad-Hom fest, know that it is only going to get worse. Because the types that like these things, will make it so. I’ve had my child of two and a half years old called a bastard on these forums, there are people here, who’s vitriol and meaness of mind, knows no bounds. And if you continue, you will find yourself becoming them - wether you want to or not - just to stay in the game, stay competitive. You wake up one day, switch on the computer, and realize you’ve become just another asshole. I’ve spent whole days on ILP, not doing anything constructive - just updating the insults I’ve missed out on. What does that make me…?
*And finally - If some snot-nosed kid comes up to you and says “Hey Mr. - you smell of wee…” Do you turn round and boot them in the teeth…? A return of insult is also an acknowledgement of equality. Careful whom you accept as an ‘enemy’, they define you almost as much as those you accept as friends.
Still angry aren’t you.
All dressed up, and nowhere to go. What can you do…? How can you make yourself feel better…?
It’s easy.
Well, okay, it’s not easy.
*If it’s someone (or a bunch of someones) who instead of rebutting your arguements, decide to attack you personally, tell them so. Rake up all the points you’ve raised, that you think they haven’t answered well, and restate/revamp and polish them, in a final summary post. Then leave it. Okay - they may get the final word. That word indeed may be hurtful. But remember, of any thread, the view count is always much higher than the post count. Your ‘enemy’ is not the only one reading your words. You may not convince your enemy, your enemy will most probably be of the type defined by their stubborness, but others may not be. Convince them, and you’ve won. If you’re lucky, a few of the lurkers may pop out of the woodwork and tell you so. Doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.
*If someone just keeps repeating the same thing ad-infinitum, fuck-em. Leave them to it. If you think you’ve put enough shots into their arguement - you have. Walk away. They don’t convince you - they won’t convince anyone else either. Life’s too short.
*It’s tempting I know, when you get frustrated because you cannot find the arguements to counter someone elses, to reach for the knife. But think. At the moment - your opponent at least respects your intellect in that he/she takes the trouble to refute your points, and counter with his or her own. They accept you as equal. Call them three types of fuckhead in your next post, and you will drop off the map as far as they’re concerned.
If you can’t beat 'em, study them. Get them later. I learned something from everyone who ever gave my arguements a good kicking.
Please God, don’t tell me you’re still going to press the mutually-assured-destruction button…?
Remember - The best insult you can ever make is to take apart your enemy’s arguement, sentence by sentence, assertion by assertion, and show them, cooly, calmly, and above all, impersonally… What a doofus they are.
And if you are going to insult someone, please, for the sake of the server, and the sake of everyone else reading:
[i][b]Be short.
Be snappy.
Be funny. [/b][/i]
If there is anything worse than an insult, it’s a boring insult.
Tabula Rasa.
