Ever since my twenties there have been a few occassions where I get to blind drunk that I start to get aggressive and eventually violent and I invariably wake up the next day in bed with bruises cutslost friends and rejected phone calls. I have a drinking problem, at least, my behaviour suggests if I carry on in this way my drinking will become a bigger problem.
Here is a brief take on my last expereince of wildness:
The night is fine. The atmosphere god. I start play fighting with another drunk mate we jostle we get serious we fling each other about I take a few hits, I get flung to the ground, another friends of mine hooks me on the right temple, and two mates rush in and one of them (who is particularly mental) threatens me and I continue to wind him up, he fling me down a small flight of stairs, I leave the house, get a taxi, realise in the taxi I have no money to which the taxi drive replies with heated anger…the taxi driver takes me to the police station and tries to get the policeman to demand I pay or put me in the cells. I have no money - the policeman asks me to give any money I can. I give the driver a few quid. The driver leaves. I stagger home fall asleep - wake up in my own piss.
Situations like similar to that one have happened sporadically over the past three years. I need to cut down. take control. and get out of this self-made rut.
Personally, I have been in a number of similar circumstances. I have found that loss of memory or increased aggressive behaviour greatly depends on how much of what is drunk.
I steer as clear as possible of some drinks now, which I only drink in absolute moderation, like honey vodka personally. That stuff wipes my memory pretty fast I find. As for mixing drinks, I find that wine and beer can be quite bad, and sometimes enough port alone can really screw with you. Rum brings out the worst in some people, like me, especially when mixed with scotch or bourbon.
Then there are some cheap, chemically quickened fermented stuff that really screws with you too. Nowadays, I find I stick to the wine, scotch and beer, with the regular vodka on the side too. Everything else I drink very moderately, due to past experiences. Cheers!
I have a problem too, so I’m trying to stay sober.
Your description of pretend fighting happened with me, even the money part about a cab, too. I socked my friend in the mouth, then had no way to get home. That night sucked.
If you feel the impulse to drink, just ask yourself what your mood is like prior to drinking, because alcohol greatly magnifies that mood. So if you feeling a little impatient/ annoyed/edgy beforehand with things then you will likely be aggressive after drinking. If you can be honest with how you feel first, you can set your limits. or try to fend off the devil all together.
There are two kinds of alcholics, those who drink often, with little problem, until they find out they have liver damage, and those who abuse alcohol and get thrown in jail. I’m a the second one, and boy do I have regrets. Hey . . . at least I’m sober today!
I’m pretty sure alcohol effects people in different ways. I honestly have never committed something of this nature, but have witnessed several accounts. I always feel semi conscious and aware of my actions when I’m hammered plus I have no violent tendencies. I even tried the method that one of my friend’s prescribed. “Well Szpak you’re not drunk until you throw up, drink some more and throw up again”, my serenity continued.
Suggestion: I guess don’t get drunk? Or strive for “happy drunk” and then refrain from drinking any more. But frankly I wouldn’t worry about it its a common phenomena…maybe people should be more understanding or strive to keep you away from certain people you would like to hit. Although taking responsibility for your actions can be good as well.
I remember stories about how fights at schools were really bad when people were high, because they couldn’t feel pain and they faught really horrably, getting and giving more damage. Alchohol tends to be a “downer”, by drug-definition, and does anything but enhance actual preformance of combat… but, still, makes fighting itself seem like a little thing.
I drank when I was younger and this sort of aggression never occured. It has happened maybe ten times over passed years. Once or twice some really intense fighting which I was the centre of and in other times just complete delirum and waking up in your own piss.
I’m not exactly proud and I know I have to cut out my drinking but I’m just surprised at the change. From getting happy drunk and just getting by to becoming (on ocassion) aggressive and violent.
10/10 I am fine when drinking and drunk, up for a party a dance a big dicussion, it seems that in certain groups I react differently, perhaps I am too paranoid regarding how the group views me.
And Kev -I think your ‘two types’ of alcoholic make a good, if arbitrary, typology, most of the poeple I was drinking with that night where the first type of alcoholics - they will damage their live but maintain some kind of control while blind drunk and the type who get blind drunk and end up in a cell for the night. (This has not happened to me yet and it won’t)
I guess an element of development in my little mind is needed.
My family has severe alcoholism, there is dementia and physical health problems down that road and being hated by those who love/d you. Put the booze down and pick up a fruit drink, soda, water anything that has no addictive things in it. Do it now before its too late and you wind up alone totally strapped to a bed in a state pysch ward and no one cares about you anymore. If you have kids you will cause great harm, if you have a spouse all beauty will die. if you have sibs and parents they will pity you and ignore you. You will be alone in your own filth with no way out. Stop now. I just described my mother and two of my sibs. My mother is on the last road, the sibs are not far behind , they still have a chance.
Mom will be in a state institution before 2 yrs are up probably closer to 6 months or less. Mom will probably die there because she has severe physical health problems incurred by the drinking. So think and stop.
The easiest way to control alcohol is to go to your favorite watering hole, buy a soda, and spend a couple of hours watching the drunks and ask yourself if that is really what you want others to think of you. Having a drink is one thing, getting knee-walking commode-hugging drunk is one of lifes more stupid things to do. There was a piece on the news last night about an idiot who passed out in his driveway. When his wife came home, she didn’t see him lying there and ran over his ass. Unfortunately, she missed running over his head, so he survived. What a great way to live.
A person posted a similar thread to this on a homebrewing forum I frequent. The universal reply?
“Relax, have a homebrew!”
But in your case, I guess it boils down to how old you are. I went through quite a heavy drinking phase. Never pissed m’self, but I did have many a fight with bedroom curtains, got forcibly ejected/banned from more bars than I can count, and got scuffed up more than a few times.
Chances are, it’ll fix itself. Do you have a full-time job as your primary occupation, or are you a student? If you are a student, don’t worry. Everyone is a functional alcoholic during University.
Circa 1987, State vs. Mastriani, Public Intox, Public exposure, attempted assault, two counts, attempted aggravated assault -
“If I ever find out you are in a courtroom for drinking related issues again, you’re doing ten years. No pleas, no bargains.”
It isn’t worth it Colin. Yes, there are those of us, for whom alcohol lets loose the most vile and insidious of personality dysfunctions.
Wisdom/logic/intuition says: If I keep behaving in this manner, at some point I am going to do something I won’t remember, that will cost me my freedom.
You’re already aware it is a problem. Now walk away, and don’t look down that path again. It will be the best decision of your life, thus far.
I had my party days & it seems like with the fun I had alot of trouble with it. So I became wiser with age, I have fun in less costly ways esp. as those party took a toll on my health as well.
Here is an excellent site frm a friend, also non-judgmental. I helped edit the text for him.
I don’t believe drinking to be wrong (nor homosexuality I might add Adlerian). I just find my excessive drinking worrying, something I need to control.
This wasn’t a call for help. Just a babble about my recent out of control behaviour.
Alcoholism and drinking problems are two different things.
It seems like you definitely have a drinking problem (problems associated with drinking).
Hopefully you will not have to battle alcoholism.
My advice would be just not to drink to the point where you can’t control yourself.
Also different types of alcohol will effect you differently, for some people beer makes them aggressive for some its whiskey, for some its tequilla, ect…
You need to figure out what drinks you need to stay away from.
I’m not an alcoholic, but I do have a lot of problems related with drinking, such as DUI, and fighting cops. So for me my plan is to stay away from cops and cars while I’m drunk, so far its working out
