Hi Tab, Hello my F(R)IEND(S)…
I like your theory a lot! Very good, very possible. Here’s more on that:
The " ‘Dad, Why does our tribe suck?’ A Theory of the Ultimate God."
A wandering tribe (let’s call them the Jewns) is looking for a homeland ever since they can remember… they settle in foreign lands and though there is a period of peace and prosperity a clash of philosophies (i.e. religious war) always ensues. Now, the Jewns have, over their long history, traveled near and far and have encountered various local civilizations: Babylonians, Assyrians, Egyptians, et al. Now, it just so happens that over the past 100 or so years the Jewns have been in enslaved and have had many trials and trubulations. The people are beginning to lose hope! The people need something to help them believe they will escape the chains of bondage, that somehow their yoke shall be cast off… In fact, the people are in danger of losing their faith in the GOVERNOR that their forefathers had invented–I mean discovered… This notion becomes especially clear when a son asks his father: ‘Dad, why does our tribe suck? Why can’t we be more like the Egyptians?’
How should a father answer such a question? The Jewns don’t have much going for them EXCEPT their faith in a god their forefathers invented–err discovered–while in the desert. No, the only thing this father can offer his son is a faith based answer… but, is that enough? The father goes to his priest and asks the same question… So this priest has very little to offer… he then takes it to the other priests and it turns out that the priests begin to think of a satisfactory answer (they ‘meditate’) and will get back to this father.
So, sometime passes by and they have an answer for the father: We have something better than the Egyptians–something worth a lot more! We have an all powerful GOVERNOR which they will refer to as the RULER. They have received prophecy from the great RULER that someday they will have a RESCUER (or two ) that will lead them to freedom and will lead them to a homeland that has been ‘promised’ to them. This prophecy is developed over the next few hundred years. The agree that the RESCUER will deliver them with a more clear definition of the RULER and will deliver them with a more precise details. The priests figure they should set down some difficult scenarios so that in case the RULER comes and doesn’t fulfill the prophecy the priest can use that in their defense. Besides, how much longer can their enslavement really last.
Nearly 300 years later, a half Egyptian/half Jewn–which we will call NOSES–thinks to himself… Hmmm… I could lead these people into freedom. I have many skills necessary to overcome the challenge I will receive fromo the Egyptians… I just need a time to strike! So, he waits (not in enslavement of course, but he runs off somewhere to start a family and hang out by a mountain that is pretty cool).
One day, NOSES notices that this mountain is spraying red mud into the river… fish are dying in the immediate area but it is isolated to this mere location. In this area several things happen: the fish die, the fish attract insects, the insects attract the frogs, the frogs and insects give men that are in contact with them boils… and so on, and so on. So NOSES realizes that soon this mud will come down into the river and that it will spread all the way to Egypt. The time is HERE!
Now, NOSES has spent years in the desert preparing a theory of the RULER… he has also prepared many scenarios that would help him become their great priest. As soon as he notices that the red mud is unstoppable and will reach Egypt within, say a week, he rushes off to meet PHARAOH and discuss the consequences of disobeying the RULER which is supreme to all Egyptian gods. He tells him of the river of blood, and this happens, he tells them of insects, plagues, boils to follow… and whne it happens, NOSES leads his people to freedom because the PHARAOH believes that there is an all powerful RULER.
Later, NOSES decides to lead his people into the desert in search of the promised homeland… during this 40 year search, in which most adults that witnessed the actual events at Egypt die, NOSES decides to write down all these events… to write down the history. So, we receive the history of the religion of the Jewns which they will deem sacred and will call it the TORANH. Now, is it a coincidence that almost all the plagues are paralleled in the TORANH to discredit the Egyptian gods? Heck no! The Jewns need to show the children how their RULER is awesome and better than all and that even though they do not have a homeland they will someday… So, some of the plagues are very easily explained by natural occurences… the red mud makes the river look like it is full of blood, the insects are a consequence of that and they create disease which of course affects children the most (like newborns). When newborns began dying they change it to all FIRSTBORNS–which was their way of paying back the Egyptians (which was a trick some other religious nut caused). Now, as for three days of darkness… who is really going to know if this is made up or if this is a true event–most that could dispute this are actually dead (since the combination of a desert and 40 years of travel would kill just about anyone). Besides, you put it on paper and call it history and it must be true RIGHT? RIGHT?
Now, since the Jewns have always settled in what could be called the middle land of all major empires they are privy to many different cultures, beliefs, and influences. So, the priests learn from NOSES and create a more and more powerful god. They borrow from all the local civilizations, add a touch of this, a dash of that and voila! GOD as 1/2 of the world knows him today–all powerful, all knowing, all man-made.
Stay tuned for the followup: " ‘I can come up with something better!’ A Theory on Christianity." Featuring Jesuns, the 12 students, the ‘cross’ and the myth of Chryst…
ANY THOUGHTS ON THE THEORY HERE?