Anyone hate their mother?

Mine is non-existent, treats me like I am invisible, takes what she needs from me and throws me away. I love her because she is my mother, but I hate her because she makes me want to weep.

hmm, i have the opposite problem, i think

flat-out…
mine is an over-concerned pain in the arse

one who manupilates things untill they are the way she wants them to be… at all cost
and she doesn’t listen…

sometimes i hate my mother, no doubt…

Bessy, I don’t understand the concept of people saying they love a person because they’re their mother/father etc but hate them at the same time???
Maybe I have a different interpretation of love? I realize one SHOULD love one’s relative and one CAN hate their actions – rather than the person, but I must admit, if it happened to me I would’nt be around very long… I wonder if its “love” that keeps you there or guillt?

PS: I couldn’t have asked for a better mother… sick all the time, but perfect-- unconditional love, freedom and respect. May she rest in peace. She wanted the line: “I told you I was sick” put on her grave because no one took her sickness seriously. I just couldn’t do it… :smiley:

Lol she wanted the last word :stuck_out_tongue: . I see why you couldn’t do it though.

Anyways my mother is great. To damn great, makes me feel guilty sometimes.

As for having to “love your family” I don’t understand it either. I really do not have any concept of family, they are just people. Though we have the same DNA it doesn’t really matter to me. Although as I said I do feel somewhat responsible for my mothers well being, as in she raised me well, but I suppose I would have those same emotions if I was a foster child and my foster mother raised me well. I really don’t see the importance of the DNA, its the relationship that matters, if you don’t have a personal relationship then you really aren’t family

I can’t stand my mother; she always makes me to all sorts of housework, yet my siblings (the youngest is almost 13, so there is no excuse) have to do virtrually nothing. Some of my siblings also get money for things without having to work for it. My sister gets to drive my dad’s old car, and she does not have to pay for the gas. I got free gas for awhile before I had my own vehicle, but I had to work for it, and it was around $1.40 per gallon back then. Now, my sister does not have to work for her gas, and it close to $2.10 per gallon today. My sister is supposed to work for the gas, and when she does not work when she is supposed to, my parents just complain that she did not do it, and they don’t enforce any consequences for her. They keep threatening to kick me out or make me pay rent (I am 19 years old, and I am stuck with them due to high rent rates), yet when my siblings don’t do anything, they get off just fine, and my sister is a legal adult. She also has a job, yet she does not have to buy her own things. :imp: My mother treats me like a mere tool. I never have liked her, and I probably never will. She made sure that I had no rights as a child and teenager, and she always finds ways to make my life more miserable. She interrupts me to do work around the house when I am studying, when one of my four younger siblings could do it instead, but alas, she must make me suffer instead. I am so sick of her and her favorites.

[quote=“Volkov”]
I can’t stand my mother;

I am so glad you could get that OUT, Volkov. I have been wanting to tell someone that I hate her guts for treating me so badly all of my life. I agree that there is guilt involved with “loving” her, or trying to, and I think it is particularly difficult for mothers and daughters. My brother has no problem at all writing her OFF, but I keep hangin’ on and I have many children of my own. Don’t ya feel so frustrated sometimes? My mother has her favorites too, and it sure ain’t me. It is because I am HONEST, which already got me into deep shit in these forums. Hang in, Volkov, and when you leave home, you can be a great dad… my kids and I are best friends, and they call ME to go out and have drinks with them on Friday nights because I respect them. Get your revenge by turning it around. (Remember I said that when you have kids of your own, Volkov.)

[quote=“Rounder”]

[quote=“km2_33”]

[quote=“Bessy”]

Bessy, I don’t understand the concept of people saying they love a person because they’re their mother/father etc but hate them at the same time???

I guess I should have said, I want to love her. You are truly blessed, and as most people who have wonderful parents, they take it somewhat for granted i.e. you don’t appreciate your leg until ya have it amputated. The dynamic of mothers is very layered especially for the relationship between mothers and daughters, but I think, too, for sons. It changes you for life, and gives you a lack of self that is hard (very hard) to recapture if you don’t have that foundation. It is like the foundation of a house - you take it for granted when it is there, but when it crumbles, you have no shelter, if you get my drift. You have a blessing from God, believe me. Be good to her. Buy her flowers and tell her what you think of her this week.

FTR: I was fortunate enough to know the gift I had from a very early age and am sure I would have gone off the rails if it wasn’t for feeling unconditionally loved and truely respected… which, by the way can’t be faked. Does it solve ALL your problems… absolutely not, but to know you are loved regardless of anything you might have done or might yet do, is a constant light that never goes out even in times of overwhelming darkness.

It is exactly that, Bessy, the very foundation of a person psyche. In my opinion there’s nothing more important than to give a child that foundation. I feel for you because I cant imagine what you must feel. I know I would have long ago packed up and gone but its always more complex than that.

I was rather frustrated as a teen, given that I couldn’t do very much about it. After awhile, I managed to get a job, and using that, I spent as much time away from home as possible. I still spend a good deal of time away from home. I would love to leave, but my lack of money is keeping me stuck there. I will strive to do a much better job than them if I end up having kids. They have been role models to me; role models of which indicate what NOT to do with my future kids. :wink: I feel that my mother would possibly be a very negative influence on my future children. I may possibly go as far as a name change.

Well, if it makes anyone feel any better, most of you seem better off in the parents department than what I witness almost every day. And just when I think I’ve heard the absolute WORST childhood I can imagine, a new patient/client tops it…

Then of course, there are the many parents I have to assess for Child Protection services…I get to meet some pretty awful types and get to read the files of some of the worst parents imaginable (not to mention seeing the police or medical pictures of their children…). And unfortunately, these parents were almost always subjected to the same types of horror shows that they do to their own kids.

Perspective…perspective…

If it weren’t for our mothers, none of us would be here. Right or wrong, whatever they have done, they gave us life. That is enough for me. I love my mother with all my heart. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been so worth it!

Ha I can’t believe I just stumbled onto this topic. Right now I am fucking PISSED at my mom. She is such a child. An immature fucking 60 year old child. She grew up sheltered and married young. Never experienced life, never grew up. I often question myself whether I hate her or not, because sometimes I just can’t fucking stand her and who she is, and other times I love her to death. But lately, it seems that she is becoming more spiteful and spiteful. She will bring up shit from previous arguments just to make herself “right”, will insult me, and throw things I’ve done in the past in my face. She also attempts to resort to violence when I say shit back, and that is another thing that I think is extremely childish. I usually just get angry and yell at her to just go, or leave me the hell alone, but occasionally, and much more often now I insult her right back and she just shuts the fuck up and leaves. It just happened right now actually. She was sitting here accusing me of being on drugs because I was getting very mad at her for asking me the same question twice, after she heard me the first time (she acknowledge my answer) and then she asked a yes or no question and when I said no, she said what do you mean no?.. I mean no, WHAT THE FUCKING WAS THE POINT OF ASKING THE QUESTION IF YOU WEREN’T GONNA ACCEPT MY ANSWER?! This was just getting annoying because I was in the middle of something so I started to yell and then she goes on some rant about I am throwing my life away bc of not having a job (I am going to college, I have a scholarship) and then she said that I’m not going to be able to goto college next semester, because she “knows” they are gonna cancel my scholarship. She has no clue what she is talking about but that didn’t stop her from running her fucking mouth so after repeatedly hearing her bitch, I came back and asked her “What do you fucking do, just sit around the house all day? You lazy bastard. How does that feel?” She then shut the hell up and left.

I love it how she thinks she can belittle me and shit but once I say something back, I’m the asshole. Fuck her, I can’t wait to get out of here.

FtheNaysayers, Cathargic wasn’t it. :smiley: Get it out. I use to write nasty letters to my mother, not about my youth, but interferring with my disciplining my son. I mean these were really mean, spiteful letters.

I would wait a day, calm down, reread the letter then trash it. It helped.

PS, my mother is 80 and still plays the guilt trip, you deprived me of a large wedding (I hate dressing up even in dress slacks) You deprived me of seeing you walk during University graduation. (Yes, out of sheer spite, as I was forced to walk in my high schold graduation in 100+ degrees or not receive a diploma and allowance.)

:evilfun: I was wonderful vengence and I do not regret any of the spiteful behaviors adopted to nail my often rather spiteful mother.

I still visit dad, but only twice a week as my mother can be a pain in the ass.

:evilfun: Sounds like my manipulative, controlling mum. I would be cooking dinner for her and my father, he is ambulatory, and she would also think nothing of asking me to cook for her friends too. I said “NO” then the guilt trips started. I turned off the meal, got in my car and left her with a huge mess, as I am a great cook, but I use many pots and pans, and tend to spill whill cooking.

Revenge can be wonderful.

TO “FTHENAYSAYERS”:

Your mother sees herself as lost, and is throwing that on you. I am a middle-aged mother of five. This time of life is hard for her because she sees the life that she has missed when she was young, the life that she can never recapture because those times are gone for her. Don’t hate her. Pity her quietly - tell her to fuck off to yourself, under your own breath, for your silence IS your power, and your youth and years ahead is what she privately longs for. Don’t be angry, but vow to do it better. Vow it today. I did. My mother was always hateful, and blamed me for everything, and now I, as a mother have turned that around, and given the best I have to every single one my children. You will make a wonderful father because you know what NOT to do. Hang in; you will be on your own soon - just know it is NOT YOU. It is HER. It is HER SHIT, not yours. Congrats on the scholarship - you should be REALLY proud of yourself. I wrote this thread because WE NEED IT - I NEED IT STILL, DAMN IT… EVEN NOW.

What is it they say, love and hate are similar emotions.

Yes, I love my mother, but hate the fact I have to constantly nail her, I mean I can be, and have to be very blunt with her to make her realize she is overstepping my limitations.

My mum was seldom ill, never cried, made the knitted matching mittens, caps and sweaters. Shit I felt like her doll for dress up. Read Shakespear, Kipling, etc. as bed time stories. Stiff upper lip, never angry, but ruthlessly manipulative to try and make me do as she wanted.

She failed. :evilfun:

Any dog or cat can give life.

Yea that statement always pisses me off too. So what if your mother gave you life. Is that a good enough excuse for them to treat you like utter shit and some kind of slave? fuck no it is not.

I could beat the shit of my kids, molest them and then say hey you shouldn’t hate me, I gave you life!

Get real liquid.

Giving birth does not give one the right to abuse, neglect, ignore, or mistreat. I feel your sentiment is pure, but until you have tasted the searing pain of your mother’s disregard, only then will you see the truth in others need to become free of their emotional incarceration. Only then can you say a word as strong as hate. Only then.

I don’t know about you but I sure as hell didn’t ask to be born. Seriously the fact that you share the same dna with someone is of little significance, unless you need a kidney or something. The personal relationship that exists now is all that matters. If a relationship doesn’t exist, then there isn’t one.