My husband has OCD, probably, i’m not sure. He is afraid from almost all the things around. He touches things(food, phone, shoes…etc) with handkerchief. He considers everything to be extremely dirty. I cannot normally shop, normally move around the flat. Obviously, often happens I do something “wrong” and then we argue. I’m somehow embarrassed to talk about it, but i’m already desperate, neurotic and depressed.
What do you think about OCD? It seems to be pretty spread these days.
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is a type of anxiety disorder.
An Obsession is the anxiety itself. Eg a fear of germs. An obsession is more than just a fear though, it is a re-occurring intrusive thought so it is involuntary and repeating. It occurs when the brain does not normally connect a fear/anxiety to a conclusion. So a healthy mind will take a fear of germs, think about what you can do to prevent it, ie keeping surfaces clean, and the thought will subside. Someone with OCD will take a fear of germs, think about what they can do to prevent it, then think about germs again and how there are millions of germs, so cleaning the surface a second time will kill more germs, then think about how many more there are left after that, etc.
A compulsion is the action that is repeated. Ie cleaning. This is makes the anxiety subside and feels good, but still keeps the thought in the sufferers head and if something remains in the mind it will become an obsession.
A disorder is when an Obsessive compulsion interferes with normal life. It is said that we all have some degree of OC but only some people have the D.
OCD is a complicated disorder, it is your own doubt constantly fighting with you, and so it is impossible to fight using just the mind. Like arm wrestling someone exactly your strength. The way to stop OCD is to break the compulsion, as this is the thing that keeps the obsession in the mind. You cannot Obsess about something if its not there to obsess about.
The specific technique used in BT/CBT is called exposure and ritual prevention (also known as “exposure and response prevention”) or ERP; this involves gradually learning to tolerate the anxiety associated with not performing the ritual behaviour. This is difficult to implement and must have the persons consent to work, or they will lash out aggressively, either physically or verbally, because it is an anxiety disorder, trying to break a habit without the person accepting and understanding why you are doing it will be seen as an attack.
This treatment when exercised does not feel right, in fact it feels quite the opposite of right and alot of patients will feel that it is causing more harm than good for a very long time, in the long term though it works.
Some people can have what they call “Pure O” Which happens when a compulsion is not apparent. This is of course an illusion, there is always a compulsion. For example you can have an obsession that you are gay and the compulsion is that you seek reassurance that you are not gay. Over and over and over again. These are normally the hardest to break as the compulsion is in the mind (if you are reassuring yourself)
It is important to realise that if you have OCD about something for example: being a paedophile you are much less likely to be one, because if you were you wouldn’t be upset by it, you would find it natural. The problem is your head will tell you that you are, because your always thinking about children as part of your obsession.
It sounds like your husband does have OCD. The first step is to get him to admit it, this can be sensitive and must be approached carefully. Then you have to get him to go and get an official diagnosis. Therapy is important with someone who he does not know, especially if he uses you to “trouble shoot” his problems. It may be important if you are involved in his routines for you to see someone as well, so you know exactly how to deal with his specific rituals.
In short OCD sucks. You are fighting an impossible battle, and until you realise the only way to win is to let yourself loose you cannot overcome it.
Some things that made me feel good about having OCD are:
OCD normally occurs in intelligent people
OCD normally happens to people who are extremely empathetic especially if you have “harm OCD” (Obsessions about hurting people)
These things might soften the blow if you are the one to tell him that you think he has OCD
Put his OCD to good use by making him become really pedantic about cleanliness, then your house will be nice and clean
I think I have a mild case of OCD when it comes to cleanliness, and I don’t mind that at all, because I can’t bear to live with mess or even one thing out of place, as it does my head in…
No, people may genetically predisposed to OCD. They also may undergo conditioning that results in OC behavior. Stressors may also play a role in precipitating OCD.
…but it can be a good thing/have it’s uses to that individual - when it becomes the ritualisitic repetitive disorder that is OCD, is when one needs to destress and evaluate their situation.
I guess to keep one’s OC in-check is to keep one’s-self in-check.
…but anxiety is like a human internal alarm-bell, telling us that something is not as it should be - with all that is going on in one’s life sometimes, it can be difficult to determine what the root of the anxieety is…
True. But when anxiety becomes disordered, the internal alarm-bell can itself become “what is not as it should be”. The dang alarm-bell starts tripping itself off! Anxiety becomes its own root. We may wish to learn how to turn off the alarm.
Well yes if we are talkng about turning off normal fear responses.
If my alarm clock wakes me up in the morning it is doing its job. If it goes off at all hours of the night and day, it needs repair.
If obsession compulsion doesn’t bother a person or cause problems for people he or she cares about, then there’s no need for that person to obsess about it . But if it’s causing distress, consuming time, interfering with work or messing up a person’s relationships then that person might want to see if a shrink can help.
Research suggests that OCD runs in families. Close relatives of people with OCD are up to nine times more likely to develop OCD themselves. There is growing evidence that there is a genetic basis for OCD. Researchers have identified a gene variant that doubles the risk of getting OCD.
…repair through therapy, but not turn off completely, right?
I like in stressful situations where someone cleans the same spot for like 10 minutes, or does some other such repetitive act - I guess those moments are acceptable, but not when they are prolonged…
Genetics providing an out let for stress, perhaps? I bet that OCD sufferers have lower incidence of stress-related dis-eases…
A little bit is normal. If I definitely have to wake up on a certain day I’ll check the alarm clock several times to make sure it’s set. All it takes is forgetting once, to start it all over again. No matter how hard I try, I always check to see that the door is locked before I leave, even though I know it’s locked. That’ s obsessive. It’s when you do those kinds of thing many, many times that it becomes psychotic and debilitating.
If you think you left the door unlocked, go back and check it. Dont then go to your car, walk back check the door, walk to your car, go back, check the door, walk to your car, go back check the door. Go to work. Get there 15 mins late.
Clean the counter. Dont, clean the counter, clean your hands because they were touching the dirty cloth, dry your hands, wash the towl because it touched your dirty hands. Wash your hands because the you touched the towl that was dirty from your hands. Claen the counter again because remaining bacteria has had time to breed.
Ask yourself “am I gay?” Dont, ask yourself if you are gay, think about what it would mean if you were gay, think about gay sex to see if it arrouses you. Find out it doesnt arouse you, think if it doesnt arrouse me why cant I now stop thinking about gay sex?
Ask yourself does God exist. Dont spend 13 hours a day for 3 years looking for absolute proof one way or the other, loose your job and your life.
Overcoming OCD is not about ignoring or avoiding what you obsess about, its about forcing yourself to avoid repeating compulsions
Compulsions are an outlet for stress. But it is stress that is cause by the obsession, the compulsion only prevents the stress for a few seconds, before it escilates far beond a normal level for such a simple question.
People with OCD are overstressed all of the time, and normally about things that most would not find stressfull