Are spankings necissary and good for children?

Are spankings necissary and good for children?

Most children that i’ve seen, don’t do really bad things.
I don’t think kids are worse than adults in their behavior.
Kids may be immature but they’re not evil; and
spankings dont seem to make someone more mature,
that instead requires mere time.

I’m not sure what else to say on this issue.
But i don’t think that human parenting methods are perfect.

Yeah, human parenting isn’t perfect, as human adults where raised by humans too. Parents are also not allways parenting their child, all lot of the time they teach children stuff that isn’t with the parenting goal in mind, but more to the benifit of the parent. Sometimes you just want to be left alone as a parent :smiley:. And that’s okay, to a certain extent, as far as I’m concerned.

Spankings are almost never necessary, i would think. Some basic amount of discipline is important for children, but there are usually a lot of other way to go about teaching this. But I also don’t think spankings are necessarily the worst kind of evil, total neglect for instance is much worse in my book.

I think children should be made independant as soon as possible.
They should be encouraged to teach themselves whatever they want or need to know,
instead of being trained to obey others.

you’re absolutely right Dan. so long as children can understand the relation between an action and a negative outcome they can begin learning on their own.

Children grow up much quicker when treated like adults. (meaning treated with respect)

If and when necessary, I’ve personally found that the threat (and consistent follow-up) of a good solid tickling is a much superior alternative to spanking. It’s also fun on all sides (even the ones that split)…

Yes, I agree. Unfortionally the world isn’t geared towards that kind of independancy. Most will have to obey some kind of authority a large percentage of their lives, be it in school, in some Job or generally societies rules. And a lot of adults past this over to their children.

There are always alternatives.

Nah, don’t spank em.

Hitting children is not necessary. I work with Children with severe behavioral problems and of course we are not allowed to hit them. We are also obviously specialists in our field and very able to deal with such behavior otherwise they wouldn’t pay over £120K a year for a placement. (Government funded)

The trick with tricky children is firstly: do not let them get away with anything. Most parents with badly behaved children will do anything for a quiet night, this is understandable, I work with the kids every day but I get to go home at night and have a glass of wine after they have attacked my with various implements (Fire extinguishers, lava lamps etc) However giving in wont make it easier, it just makes it worse, give them an inch and all that.

Secondly: don’t spoil them, this is a big problem we see with our kids and it usually stems from the point when the children were given their conditions labels, ie ADHD ADD, ODD, etc. So this is more of a problem if you have a diagnosis from a doctor, but the diagnosis is not the problem, its the parents reaction to it. They lavish the child out of a misplaced sense of guilt, this does not help the child or give them a better life. Spoiling your children makes them, well, spoilt, and spoilt children think that the world owes them something, and basically feeds the bad behavior.

Thirdly: Keep them controlled while Keeping something back, you can control your children without raising your voice just but giving them consequences for their actions, these consequences should be related to the behavior, ie. If a child refuses to do their homework, no TV until it is done. If a child wont eat vegetables, no snack etc. These rules must be tailored to the child, if the child then does not eat, another approach must be found. So we can control our children, but what if they are having a really bad day? Well I have worked in my job for 3 years now, I have raised my voice 3 times in emergency, each time the children were so shocked it stopped them dead, they were terrified.

Children will of course misbehave you cannot prevent that, and you will make mistakes, but you can still see them moving in the right direction using these basic techniques. There is obviously more to it and you have to adapt things so they work for you and your kids individually, but that’s a skeleton structured approach to basic behavioral management.

Thank goodness someone could explain why my gut reaction was valid. Good work Rhinoboy.

When I was a child I one-time threw a can of spray paint at my older brother’s head because he beat me at a video-game. I seriously wanted to injure him. Bad. Over a video game.

Children have the same intentions and inclinations as adults, it’s just that they have less power, so the outcome of their actions have lighter consequences. Some people see this as innocence, but it isn’t, it’s just weakness.

As far as the OP is concerned, keep physical punishments to extreme situations, which a good principle for most violent acts.

i dont believe putting your hands on someone in a negative way is necessary ever- we must always choose to show love

It entirely depends on the situation and what kind of a child you have. For me, it wouldn’t be the first educational option, but if there is indeed no other option, it might be taken intro some consideration.

I haven’t seen such in a long time, but I wait for the next time I see a parent spanking a kid in public saying something like, “What are you doing? No.”
Because I really just want to grab them, start spanking them and start saying, “What are you doing? No.”

People seem to forget…children are as much human as any adult deserving the respect of their body.

There is always another option. Always

hmmm, is spanking the only thing you find wrong with parenting?

No you quite got this agenda of showing the bible wrong. Spare the rod, and spoil the child really means that if you don’t pull the reigns down on a child they will run free and have no sense of responsibility and order.

I remember making pretty good assertions of how there are Christian books about punishment. I don’t remember them being summed up entirely in spanking.

It said never punish a child out of anger. Can you imagine, spanking a child out of love? Maybe it’s because you never felt the need to do it.

Let me tell you about me verses my nephew. He never was spanked. I was. He finds an ability to agree with his parents for the most part. I disagreed with my parents for the most part.

Maybe it needs to be shown what type of person doesn’t respond to spanking. And again, if you love a child you will fill their life with blessings. So, my parents got me involved. summer school. sports. camps, boy scouts. It opened the world up to me. I will do the same to my kids.

The thing is, I was spanked to show the seriousness of the issues. Spanking is a pain association for wrongs you do. It’s reality. Is running out in the road a good thing? What about leaving the back yard without your parents permission.The spanking is the consequence they can understand and remember. Yet the parents still love them.

Can you imagine a parent who spanks their child for being wild and exploring, and short termed memory, and thinks for himself. Yet the child is still loved by the parent. The parent promotes growth in the child and gives them what they need, and gives them aspirations, and gives them love, and gives them responsibilities.

How many kids who aren’t spanked do simple things like, I don’t know, clean their room, and help out around the house on top. It seems that kids who aren’t spanked are the ones who do what they please out in the neighborhood. The ones who rebel against authority are the ones who never were given a chance by authority.

Where do you and the state of california get off grouping all these people together as failures.

I will say this again. Good cop, bad cop. Just punish the kid for stealing, then turn around and give them a job. Punish a kids for lieing, and don’t spiteful take away their things they lied about. How do you learn to tell the truth, and not hide from mistakes, but learn from them? You merely take into consideration the benefits of learning from your mistakes.\

Spanking is best for a child who has little grasp on the consequences. And children who pay attention well in school weren’t bribed into doing it, but understand what schools have to teach. My nephew was hardly ever spanked, he does better in school then I did. I don’t remember being spanked except when I snuck into my neighbors house at the age of 7. Or when I stole a 50$ bill. But mostly I just spent time roaming the woods behind the neighborhood. Or doing structured activities.

Giving the children a natural consequence is far more effective then spanking. Spanking as a consequence is just pure laziness on the adults part and is not related to the bad behavior, and so means that the child more often than not does not learn that the behavior is wrong. In fact more often than not it only teaches them that holding power over those physically weaker than yourself is ok. Bullies more often then not, were given physical punishment by their parents as children. Spanking has shown in numerous studies to produce mental disorders such as anxiety and anger issues.

You say that the kids that are not spanked are usually the ones running riot… Where is the evidence for this? Children need discipline, discipline is not the same as hitting someone.
There is never a child that is so bad that hitting them is the only thing that works, this is a bad excuse made by lazy parents.

In some cases it is true that a child needs physical intervention, in dangerous situations simply to remove said child from the situation. This never needs to include hitting and can be done entirely without hurting the child.

I said I’d take it into consideration, not that I’d do it. What would the other option be?

I disagree with all of you.

There’s a big difference between spanking and abuse. There comes a time when reasoning with them is no longer an option.

Stumps, I realize they’re humans, but they’re young humans, and you shouldn’t treat them the same as older humans. They’re different psychologically, bigtime.

I don’t think spanking is harmful if done correctly.

The correct way being?