Atheists beware

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.
“What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers!
What beautiful animals!” he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes.
Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path.
Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him.
His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw
to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out: “Oh my God!..”

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: “You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a
The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?”
“Very well,” said the voice.

The light went out.
And the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke,
“Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I
am truly thankful.”

Lol. :laughing:

I’ve heard this joke so many times before though. :laughing:

:slight_smile: this is the first time I have read/heard this joke.

Thats halarious, im gonna have to tell that to a few people.

Hello Bob! Nice to text you again.

Kind of ironic too when you consider how many Christians were killed by bears in Roman times.

Very funny, this is the first I have heard that.

I think this is even funnier than the joke. :smiley:



Of course the insidious thing about this joke is the false dicatomy between Atheism and Christianity. Suddenly upon hearing a voice from the sky, he dosen’t jump to Hinduism, or Judism, or any of the other thesistic religions. He dosen’t consider theism independant of the many religions. This wouldn’t be so bad ecept a fair number of arguments for Christianity rely on this false hood- i.e. Pascal’s Wadger.

This joke makes me think of how upset I become after realizing that although an athiest, I find myself saying “Oh my god” all the time. Perfect example of how your surroundings can directly influence your actions, because quite frankly, who else doesn’t say OMG? Hmm… maybe I’ll have to train myself to say holy crap…er that’s “holy”. lol what is there to say?

Athests will go to hell.

I have the same problem

It results in me saying fuck alot

Very thoughtful

but imposable, atheists don’t have a hell to worry about.

i’ve asked the question, it seems not all religious people agree with that…