I feel mean. It seems that since I make fun of other people all of the time I’m seen as mean or harsh. The thing is, I don’t do it to be mean, I do it to make fun. I want other people to laugh, and I’m one of those annoying people that laughs at their own jokes. My closer friends just take it in stride, but I get the feeling that most people I only see in a school setting or never talk to as individuals think I’m much harsher than I am in reality. Am I just gonna have to live with it? Is there any way for me to seem “softer” and still make jokes like that? Just wondering, and I was also wondering if any of you other people here get that feeling sometimes. I would think you would, knowing most of you. 
i dont wanna be mean so i try not to be. just forgetabowdit and start over again.
pxc
When I was in high school, part of the cameraderie which existed between my friends and I was built on constant insults, given affectionately. Amongst people I have met since then this behaviour seems to be the norm also (i.e. for their memories of h.s., I mean). Yet it is in a sense the opposite of what you seem to say in your post, pxc - at least the bit where you say that people who only know you in school might think you were meaner than you actually were. Well for me, people looking in from the outside might get the impression that I hated all my friends, and they me.
But I appreciate the general point. The meaning of certain language games may be said to reside in the space opened up when you take what is ‘objectively’ offensive or insulting and subvert this meaning into something else. This usage retains the original meaning in a sense, but applies it towards a different end.
The important point is that this only works when there is some tacit understanding or mutual recognition of this subversion between the participants. Think of this mutual understanding as ‘repoire’. You need to cultivate it, otherwise your problem ends up being equivalent to this: A German guy trying to talk to a French guy. Or something like that.
Or more specifically perhaps, a comedian trying to use cultural stereotypes with an ignorant audience.
Regards,
James
p.s. You are fat.
haveing taken alot of abuse in my lifetime,i feel extra senceative to insults or belittlement,or the usual crap that people do intentinally to get under your skin. dont want to be senceitive though.
i’ve attempted to alter my emotions,mind, and reactions countless times in the past. cant say what effect it had since my life is so warped.
enough about me:in a nut shell-it’s not what you say,but what you intend.
that will piss someone off,or they will understand and dismiss it.so i guess it is about person to person relationships.missunderstandings.
rambleing…
i kind of know what you’re talking about pxc. really with me it’s more like all of my male friends seem to get it when i do that, and they do it back, and it’s no big deal. half of my female friends also understand (though they may not participate as much) but the other half of them seem to have gotten incredibly distant over time and i’ve been wondering if that was the cause.
Thanks for the comments guys, and sorry for abandoning this thread… that made it seem strikingly PG-ish. Anyway, I suppose I’ll just have to live with it. One of the most annoying parts, though, is that since I make fun of people when they do something stupid, lots of people are afraid to come to me for help. When I’m helping someone, with schoolwork, for example, I’m generally patient and forgiving. I remember one instance where a girl who sits behind me in French class saw me at the library, and we talked for a while, until I had to go. The next day in class, I heard “Patrick’s actually nice outside of school!” And I said, "Who told you that? 
" I then discovered that the girl I met at the library had told the girl who said that I was nice outside of school. I really don’t feel like I acted any differently, but I suppose I must have.
pxc,
It’s rarely seen as good form to make fun of other people, as that’s an attack. The best form of wit is to either make fun of life’s circumstance or to make fun of one’s self. That shows an awareness and insight that will win you a lot of respect, and laughs.
Also, never do anything that makes you feel badly about yourself. If you can avoid that you will build amazing strength.
Dear James,
You wrote:
I’m not sure that the ‘German guy trying to talk to a French guy’ analogy stands up because in the former instance (the kids at school ‘insulting’ one another) they are using a specialised vocabulary which works only with those who are party to the rules of the game whereas the German guy and the French guy have every chance of finding an intermediary because they are using a general vocabulary that is part of a much larger and more complex game. The big game and the small game are, ah, not in the same ball park.
(I am of course playing one of your favourite games whereby I’m imitating a well known philosopher, you may or may not be able to guess which one)
oh, for the love of god! I am sick of kindness being percived of some kind of weakness in america!!!
school… i know what you are…i could add alot of bitching in this space,but instead i cordially invite all of you to recollect the absolutly most malicious verbal assult against the mandatory public school system you have ever heard or said in your entire life