I’m pretty interested in knowing about why we behave the way we do, and why others behave the way they do. I’m pretty confused in this part of my life on how really I want to act. Behave that feels naturally and just learn to accept it/ or behave how in my mind I would like to so I can be happy that way - though I guess it would take sometime to “become the person I would like to become” rather than just “being myself” They’re two different things and they’re argued against each other aren’t they?
I was just having this argument with my girlfriend today.
Through the stage of adolescents we are contently told how to act. This some say is “who we are” because thats the life we were given and therefore it is you. I like to look at it as, you are taught things when you are young but once you are able to become consciouses of this you are given the option of trying to change, depending on whether you agree on them or not. But then theres the question; is it too late to change it? Then there is the argument that “you are who you are genetically” but i have no clue on which one to think, im very interested in what others have to say on this.
My ‘friend’ Richard, who recently died at 73 ‘desperately’ pursuing the same questions of which you speak. He wanted to know/study the psychology of ‘others’ so that he may gain some understanding of ‘self’. It seemed that his ‘successes’ were sporadic and meager at best. The mind always searches for ‘pattern connections’/whys when there are not necessarily any ‘whys’ but in the mind, subjective and arbitrary. Perhaps an honest and sincere investigation into ‘whys’ can lead one through the fog and out the other side?
From this perspective, there are no ‘whys’. There simply ‘is’. I ‘behave’/am the way that I do because that is my nature, this is who I am, Now. And Now. People are who they are and that is who they are, in each moment. Whant to know ‘where you are’? Look beneath your feet.
The vanity of ‘judging’ the universe (did you create it) of the moment as somehow ‘lacking’, not ‘good enough’ for you, and imagining that you can create a ‘better’ one (at least one that ‘feels better’), seems to be an unhappy ‘thought pattern’ and entails suffering. ‘Realization’ that the universe of the moment is ‘complete’ in and of itself, is a peaceful and liberating realization.
Seeking ‘actuality’ (and happiness) in fantasy… Or ‘happiness’ in ‘actuality’ /‘reality’… Hmmmm… One would really have to build quite an energetic support system for that fantasy… Many do, yet, never reach that star. Most die trying. But it’s not we have any choice in who we are, but vainly…
You either are who you are, or you are no one, Now. There is no ‘tomorrow’, there is Now! And Now! And… Perhaps if you pay attention, you’ll find that someday, you are who you imagined that you ‘wanted’ to be. The ‘ego’ will take credit, though; just don’t ‘believe’ it.
One is you, your ‘reality’, one is a fantasy of the ego, an ‘image’.
Thats this perspective, anyway.
Some food for thought.
Peace
Are you the sort of person who has the will to become the person that he wants to be? Or will you accept for whatever reason that you will remain the person who presently presides? Work that out and then you have your answer
Wise words from rhinoboy. I have changed myself to match who I want to be many times. It just takes practice to become who you want to be and eventually you won’t know the difference between the old and new you.
I think you are talking about acting/lying vs being yourself/truth.
Sometimes lying/acting is necceasry, more burdosom than being yourself, but sometimes necceasry.
theres conflict between you realizing your potential and the roles society tries to squeeze you in, who are you and where do you belong? Knowing what is influencing your mood and actions is important and then to take the step of being who you are, this might result in some casualties here and there, so be it, discard the world.